AITA for going home after I overheard my husband say he didn’t want to bring me with him to his family vacation?

A Reddit user shared a story about an uncomfortable family vacation with her husband’s family, where she overheard her husband admitting he didn’t want her to come along. Feeling hurt and unwelcome, she quietly left the trip and returned home. Her husband later accused her of being disrespectful and making a bad impression on his family, leaving her questioning if her decision to leave was wrong. Read the full story below to understand the situation.

‘ AITA for going home after I overheard my husband say he didn’t want to bring me with him to his family vacation?’

My husband goes on annual vacations with his family. I’m on okay terms with them but since we’ve only been married for a short time and I don’t see his family much, we still have that barrier that keeps is from being completely comfortable around each other.

His family arranged for the vacation last week. I out of curiosity asked if I could come. My husband felt hasitant but I told him it’d be a great opportunities to get to know his family better. He agreed to take me and his family were surprised to see me but still welcomed me.

On the 3rd day of the vacation. His dad, mom, brothers and spouses were all sitting at a table outside talking while I was preparing a fruit salad. As I was making my way back I overheard my MIL say “…did she really had nowhere else to spend the weekend?”.

At first I had no idea who she was talking about so I kept on walking, but stopped once I overheard my husband say “l KNOW!!!! And I didn’t want to bring her with me but what was I supposed to do?!!! You know how pushy she can get”. I instantly figured it was about me. I felt so shaken up to the point where I almost dropped the salad. This whole time I was there I cleaned, cooked, looked after the kids and this is how they think of me? An inconvenience to them?.

I quietly booked a ticket and went home on the first plane. He called and texted but I didn’t respond anything other than let him know I was home. He got back and went off on me saying what I did was disrespectful and juvenile. I told him I overheard the conversation he had with his mom but he said that I was wrong for eavesdropping and that his family will warm up to me on their terms so I should stop pushing to be around that when they don’t feel comfortable with it.

Basically saying it was my fault for coming along in the first place. He said that going home like made him and his family disappointed and gave them a really bad impression about me. I think that I might have messed this up and someehat ruined it for them as well.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

stacity −  NTA. Does he even like you?

EastPractice2616 −  NTA. Please don’t let him gaslight you.

amelonlord −  NTA. It’s not like you’ve been dating for 2 weeks, you’re married! And as I understand the husband’s brothers brought their spouses. How else are you going to get to know the family. And to be honest the fact that your husband didn’t defend you and was also talking with them behind your back is kind of a red flag.

misslo718 −  NTA. Other spouses are welcome but not you? What on earth is going on here??

Boring-Conclusion-78 −  NTA. Why are you in a relationship with someone who treats you so poorly?

claireclairey −  So he wants you to stop pushing to be around your family, but when you stop pushing and go home, he still gets angry? And he’s not worried at all about YOUR feelings or YOUR hurt. He’s worried about “impressions.” Do not have children with this man, OP. He will constantly lie to you, demean you, and belittle you behind your back. You now know that no matter how much or what you do for your husband, he will treat you as an inconvenience.. NTA.

[Reddit User] −  NTA. This is toxic. He trash talked you to his family who were being n**ty about you, tried to gaslight you and insists you continue putting up with his their treatment and let them have their own way. He’s your HUSBAND and his family are still treating you like this. You deserve better than these people. You deserve better than HIM. How much more of this could you possible take?

KarmaRan0verMyDogma −  His dad, mom, brothers and spouses were all sitting at a table outside talking. NTA – Other wives were there, but your MIL singles you out as not belonging at their family vacation? This is heartbreaking and the fact that your husband didn’t apologize for hurting you so badly is not a good sign for your future.

poppurplepuff −  NTA. This man is supposed to be your husband and he openly told his family that he wished you weren’t there. Girl! Why are you with him? Why are you putting up with someone who clearly doesn’t value you as his wife or even a person? He could’ve been supportive of your efforts but he chose to side with his family and just alienate you despite your help and attempts at getting along with family. Honestly, from this little amount of information, he sounds like an unsupportive and g**lighting AH.

RaysUnderwater −  So his siblings can bring their spouses, but not you?. What’s that all about? You’ve got a bad marriage. I don’t see it lasting.. NTA.