AITA for giving my son a bill for half his expenses?
Raising a teenager can be a tough balance between teaching financial responsibility and showing love, but one Redditor (mom, 40s) found herself in a tricky situation with her 17-year-old son. After she refused to buy him a new gaming system, he teamed up with his father to “prove” she could afford it, even using child support figures to guilt-trip her.
In response, she presented her son with a detailed bill of his monthly expenses to show just how much it costs to support him—and how much child support actually contributes. While she believed it was a lesson in finances, her ex is furious, claiming she made their son feel like a burden. Read on to find out how the community responded to this dramatic family moment.
‘ AITA for giving my son a bill for half his expenses?’
Dr. Rachel Morgan, a family therapist and parenting expert, weighs in: “This situation highlights the importance of teaching financial literacy to teenagers. At 17, kids often lack a full understanding of how money is managed within a household. When financial misunderstandings arise—especially when fueled by outside influences, like a co-parent—it’s essential to address them calmly and constructively.”
In this case, the OP took a strong approach to set boundaries after being unfairly criticized by her son and ex. By showing her son the reality of household expenses, she aimed to combat entitlement and clarify misconceptions about child support.
While some might argue that presenting the bill could feel harsh, Dr. Morgan explains, “It’s not about shaming the child but about providing perspective. It’s important, however, to pair this lesson with reassurance that the child isn’t a burden and that they are loved unconditionally.”
The conflict also reveals a deeper issue with co-parenting. The father’s role in helping the son calculate child support was unhelpful and likely escalated tensions. “Co-parenting requires mutual respect and an effort to not undermine the other parent. Encouraging a child to use financial information as leverage against their primary caregiver sends the wrong message,” Dr. Morgan adds.
Ultimately, the lesson could be a valuable one for the son if paired with open dialogue and a plan for him to earn the gaming system himself. Encouraging him to work for it would reinforce the value of effort and budgeting.
Here’s what the community had to contribute:
Redditors overwhelmingly sided with OP, emphasizing the importance of teaching financial responsibility and calling out the father’s meddling.
“Your son was way out of line to come to you with child support numbers. That was Dad stirring the pot, but your son’s 17 and was being an ass. NTA.” “Well played. Your son needs to learn—sounds like his dad does too. Why doesn’t Dad buy the system if he thinks it’s such a good idea?” “It’s important to explain the difference between a want and a need. Food, bills, and clothing come before luxuries like gaming consoles.”
Some also pointed out how the son’s behavior was likely influenced by his father:
“I ‘love’ how Dad feels entitled to keep all of his own income while claiming a small percentage in child support should cover luxuries like gaming systems. Hypocrisy much?” “Your ex sucks for helping your son scheme to guilt-trip you. He’s clearly trying to make you look bad while avoiding spending more himself.”
Others highlighted the importance of reassurance:
“You’re not wrong for showing him the expenses, but make sure he knows he’s not a burden. Explain that you’re happy to pay for his needs, but gaming systems aren’t necessities.” “This was a good way to teach your son how expensive life is, but don’t forget to tell him that you love him and never regret taking care of him.”
Parenting teenagers is no easy task, especially when they don’t fully understand the responsibilities of adulthood. In this case, the OP stood her ground to teach her son about money, but the situation also revealed some challenges in her co-parenting dynamic.
Was the OP right to present her son with a bill, or was the approach too harsh? How would you handle a situation where a child felt entitled to luxuries? Have you ever had to set financial boundaries with your own kids? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below!