AITA for giving my MIL a fake copy of my house key and “exposing” her on Christmas dinner?

A Redditor (34F) shares an incident that happened during Christmas dinner involving her mother-in-law (MIL) and husband. After her MIL repeatedly asked for a spare key to their new house, the Redditor gave her a fake one, as she didn’t trust her due to past incidents where the MIL walked in on the couple while being intimate.

When MIL confronted her about the fake key at Christmas dinner, the Redditor pointed out that her MIL had broken her promise not to use it unless in an emergency, leading to MIL having an emotional outburst. The Redditor’s husband is now upset, accusing her of humiliating his mother and ruining Christmas.

‘ AITA for giving my MIL a fake copy of my house key and “exposing” her on Christmas dinner?’

I wanna preface this by saying that I f34 married my husband m37 a year ago. His mom is snoopy and annoying af. She can’t help it that is just how she is as my dear in laws say. My husband and I purchased a new house recently.

My MIL kept pushing to get an emergency key, She promised that she only use it in an emergency but giving the fact that she had an emergency key to our old apartment and walked in on us being intimate twice (but my husband didn’t think it was big deal).

I just couldn’t trust her so I just sent her a fake key (after she kept pushing) and she had a smug on her face after I hand delivered it to her. Days gone by and on Christmas dinner MIL angerily “called me out” on the fact I gave her a fake copy of the house key.

She shamed me for doing this in front of everyone but in my defensive I asked her how she found out and she said days ago when she came over at 4 while my husband and were out. I reminded her “didn’t you promise you wouldn’t use it unless there’s an emergency?

So You tried to get in when there was no emergency and you broke the promise you made to us!” She looked red in the face and the other family started staring and some even laughed at her for the face she made.

She suddenly got up from her seat and rushed into the kitchen where she had a huge meltdown so loud the next door neighbors must’ve heard – literally I’ve never heard a 60+ year old woman throw a tantrum like that. Needless to say dinner went awkward and my husband and his sister were giving me looks.

My husband went off on me in the car and said I lied and manipulated and humiliated and exposed his mom and said he wouldn’t have let me get away with it had he known. We had an argument and he is demanding I apologize to his mom for my childish behavior and for ruining Christmas dinner for the whole family.. AITA?

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

YouretheAH −  NTA. I’d rethink my marriage if my husband put his mother over me.. Edit: spelling

CakeEatingRabbit −  NTA. But your husbands seems to have NO Problem of you being humiliated and shamed infront of people. He seems to have NO regards to your need of privacy and dignity.

[Reddit User] −  NTA. 1. You never owed her a key. 2. She proved she isn’t trustworthy. 3. She’s the one who decided to bring it up in front of other people. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. 4. Who is childish? A kid 1/10 of her age would have been embarrassed throwing tantrums like that.

5. Your husband is an AH for not 100% having your back. He should NEVER allow his family to cause a single problem for you, and defiantly shouldn’t expect you to be a doormat to his just no mom.

Do NOT apologize. Demand an apology from your MIL AND this useless husband of yours. I recommend the sub justnomil, btw. You can find relatable stories and helpful info there.

VinnyCapistrano −  NTA. You DID expose his mom, and rightfully so. She needed to be exposed. Your husband is out of his mind for enabling and encouraging his mom’s demented behavior.. MIL and Husband are major AHs

dldoom −  NTA but you also have a husband problem

Mauraonamission1 −  He wouldn’t let you get away with it??? I don’t say this often but that’s a huge red flag and you need to ask him what he means by that. He doesn’t own or control you and it sounds like she needs to be shown that she doesn’t control you or your home.

She can’t just show up whenever she wants and the fact that a grown woman walked into that very obvious trap means she doesn’t consider you a real person but the equivalent of a maid that she can boss around. NTA

Padloq −  NTA. Sounds like everyone only turned on you because MIL made too much of a scene for it to continue being funny. So they made you the bad guy for causing her to have a tantrum, instead of holding her accountable for her actions (both the snooping and the tantrum.)

TwoCentsPsychologist −  NTA. Great creative way to catch MIL on her b**lshit. But sadly, you do not have a MIL problem. You have a husband problem as he’s enabling his mum doing this instead of enforcing firm boundaries.

Salty-Lavishness8340 −  NTA. Play stupid games win stupid prizes. Your MIL was hoisted by her own petard. However… your husband’s reaction is somewhat problematic.

I can understand his initial reaction but after a period of reflection he should have realised why you did what you did. I have only 1 question – what would you have done if there was a genuine emergency?

powermanphil −  OP!!! NTA…at all. The fact that you’re dealing with this is utter BS. You MIL is so out of line for invading your privacy, calling you out in front of everyone, throwing a tantrum…holy smokes. There are so many red flags here, I really hope she doesn’t cause your marriage to suffer…I feel like that’s where you’re headed.

Was the Redditor justified in giving her MIL a fake key after her prior behavior, or did she go too far in calling her out at Christmas dinner? How would you handle a similar situation with an overbearing in-law? Share your thoughts below!