AITA for getting upset with the husband for eating the tamale filling I prepped a few days ahead of Christmas?

A Reddit user shared their frustration over their husband eating the tamale filling they had prepped days ahead for Christmas Eve. The tamales were a family tradition tied to cherished memories, and the user had prepared the filling to avoid waste. When the husband ate most of it, dismissing the situation and labeling the user as irrational, tensions rose. The user’s emotions were dismissed, and the husband’s actions led to a misunderstanding with his mother, ultimately leaving the kids upset. The user is questioning whether their reaction was unreasonable.

‘ AITA for getting upset with the husband for eating the tamale filling I prepped a few days ahead of Christmas?’

I don’t have family other than my kids. Eating tamales reminds me of Xmas past when my parents were alive. Each year I make tamales for Christmas Eve dinner and they take a few days to make. I prepped the meat filling and stored in the fridge. A few days later (on Christmas eve) I was gearing up to make the tamales when the husband tells me he already ate most of the filling because it was good. I asked why he ate it because he clearly knew what it was for.

He said it had been in there for a few days and he didn’t want it to go to waste. I was highly upset and told him I would not be making tamales this year. He would have to figure out dinner. He dismissed any feelings I had, didn’t apologize and said I was being irrational and dis not want his mom to come if I was going to act like a witch. I explained I was not upset with her, I was upset with him and I wanted his mom to come for the kids to spend time with her.

Unknown to me, he called his mom and told her I was in a mood and she couldn’t come over. When I called her, she basically accused me of being 100% responsible and didn’t want to be in the middle. I totally understand her siding with him but I was clear that I very much wanted his mom to come. Now the kids are sad and he’s saying I ruined Christmas. Was I being irrational for not wanting to start an entire tamale making process from scratch on Christmas Eve?

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

pixie-ann −  NTA this is deeply lazy, greedy and disrespectful behaviour from your husband. It sounds like he can’t take responsibility for his own behaviour either, tries to blame it all on you and how you reacted to his poor behaviour. Does this happen a lot? Husband acts like a d**k, you get upset but somehow he manages to blame it all on you?

Cinemaphreak −  NTA but you sure did marry one. I feel sorry for the kids, because unless there’s some major therapy soon this marriage is either ending a divorce or they will be raised by parents always fighting.

13surgeries −  Shame on him. And double-shame for lying to his mother to make you look like the bad one. Let him go to his mama’s house for Christmas Eve dinner. Order in a nice meal for you and the kids and just tell them Daddy ate the dinner, but he can’t ruin Christmas for the rest of the family. Then wrap up a piece of coal and put it in his stocking. I hate to go there, but since you make tamales every Christmas and obviously the filling always gets made ahead, do you think he ate the filling and ruined the tamale plans deliberately?

shammy_dammy −  NTA. You didn’t ruin Christmas, he did.

kotirohiakai −  NTA, your husband is a fatass and sounds like a momma’s boy. The way he put the blame on you pissed me off. You worked hard on those tamales and for him to eat most of it smh.

Perimentalpause −  NTA. “I didn’t want it to go bad, even though I didn’t bother asking and knew it would s**ew you over for Xmas, so I just decided to be a cock sore.”

Yin379 −  So he ate the filling, DIDN’T TELL YOU, let you find out on Christmas Eve when it’s basically impossible to go replace all the needed materials, KNOWING THAT IT IS A FAMILY TRADITION YOU’RE CARRYING ON FOR YOU DEAD MOTHER and then flips the script and says your being a “witch” and calls his mom to cancel (why?) and RUINS CHRISTMAS NOT JUST FOR YOU BUT HIS MOM AND CHILDREN?!. NTA AT ALL.

GorditaPollo −  Nta nah he knew exactly how this would be a problem. Pretty sure he did it on purpose so he could further sell a particular narrative; probably something about being a harridan wife or on going unreasonable behaviour. He sounds like a the son of a boy mom and has grown into a great big prickle. Merry Christmas to you and your kids, don’t let this sad sack man darkle your sparkle.  

Ruthless_Bunny −  NTA. I’m honestly tired so tired of marriages where one partner does all the planning, and labor and the hard work into running the house, making the holiday and all the other stuff. And the other partner is oblivious, in the way and critical. Your husband is a piece of s**t and you can tell him I said so. So in 2025 you’re going to expect better and leave behind the things and people who bring you down and hold you back.

Take the kids out to dinner who doesn’t love IHOP. Leave your husband to marinate in his crapulence. Let his mom keep feeding him, cleaning up after him and caring for him. Since she didn’t raise him to be a useful, helpful partner.

StuckInTutorial −  Absolutely NTA. The process takes time and he should’ve known. He put himself into a corner and lashed out at you and made you the bad guy.