AITA for getting upset with my husband after he told me nothing will change while I am pregnant?

A Reddit user shared a heated argument with her husband after he expressed that her responsibilities as a wife and mother-to-be would not change during her pregnancy. The husband insisted she continue all household chores without his help, stating that accommodating her would make her a less capable mother.

Hurt and frustrated, the user yelled, expressing regret about becoming pregnant under these circumstances. The disagreement escalated, leading the husband to leave and his family demanding an apology. To learn more about this emotional conflict and the varied reactions, read the full story below.

‘ AITA for getting upset with my husband after he told me nothing will change while I am pregnant?’

Throwaway account. So me (26f) and my husband (28m), who I’ll call “Jake” for this story, have been together for 5 years and married for 3. We have recently started trying for a baby as we both felt like that was the next step in our life together, and 3 weeks ago I got a positive test back.

We were really really happy and told our families, and now my mom and MIL want to throw a big baby shower for us, it was just super good news all around. Well 2 nights ago me and Jake were getting ready for bed when he reminds me to go through the house and make sure all the lights are off.

Now he can be a little lazy at times, and it has become a nightly routine for me to make sure all the lights are off that he leaves on before we go to bed. I wasn’t feeling very well and asked if he could just do it since he wasn’t doing anything and was literally standing by the door.

He then tells me “No, this is what is expected of you every night.” I was a little hurt but I didn’t want to fight with him so I just did it. When I came back Jake goes on this very long and unprovoked rant saying things like “Just because you are pregnant does not mean anything will change” and “You are still expected to cook,

clean, and do all the chores every day because how can you be expected to be a mother if you can’t handle a little work.” He wasn’t yelling or anything, he was talking to me quietly like a was 2 inches tall. I was shocked because I had never heard him say anything like this.

The rant went on for about 30 minutes before I interjected and asked “Well what do you plan on doing to help me with all of this.” He then got extremely defensive saying he works his ass of at his job to provide for me and what is going to be our future children.

(For context I don’t work atm, my job was not paying enough to justify me going so I am a full time college student) He ended by saying that it doesn’t matter how I feel physically or mentally, it is a mothers job to push through, and if he helped and babied me I wouldn’t be a good mother.

I got extremely upset and started yelling and I said that “I wish I would’ve known this is how you felt before I got pregnant with your baby.” There was a moment of silence before he started crying and he left for the night to stay at his mothers house.

He hasn’t been back yet and my MIL and SIL have called me berating me and saying I broke Jakes heart with what I said and I need to apologize immediately, and until I do he isn’t coming home. I don’t know how to feel.

So AITA for yelling at my husband after he said he isn’t helping me with anything during the pregnancy because “its a mothers job to deal with it”?

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

[Reddit User] −  Girl- get an a**rtion and a divorce ASAP. This man just told you who he really is, and things are about to get a whole lot worse. RUN.

TheRedJester45 −  Oh so he won’t “baby” you but he’ll run back home crying to mommy because you called him out on his b**lshit? Wow. Just wow.
I think you can salvage this if you stand your ground. If not, I’m so sorry. NTA

anathema_deviced −  Honestly, I would get an a**rtion and a divorce. NTA

Informal_Finding9165 −  You’re in an a**sive relationship. He’s wrong, things will change— for the worse. Men are often more a**sive during a women’s pregnancy because they can’t control the pregnancy itself. NTA, but you need to run.

telepathicathena −  NTA, abusers often start their abuse during life changes like this. This is terrifying behavior and you should strongly consider all of your options, including a**rtion.

Kris82868 −  NTA. One thing that stands out is we aren’t even talking about general housekeeping here. It’s doing crap for a grown man he a should be doing himself (as it sounds like it’s the lights he turned on himself.)

Even if one believes in an arrangement where the woman has the general upkeep of the house and child rearing duties and the man is the breadwinner that doesn’t mean she follows him around turning lights on and off for him.

[Reddit User] −  NTA.. ​ Girl ABORT mission and move on. This man has no empathy for you and will make your pregnancy and post partum MISERY. He will demean you while you are puking, put you in pain when you are too large to move, god forbid you need bed rest due to complications he would put your life and your babies life at risk of d**th for some chores,

and then wreck your mental health post partum while you get no sleep and he contributes nothing at all while screaming at you for not being able to do every chore with an infant attatched to your tit while operating on 45 minutes of sleep for a year at a time.

This man is not mature enough to be a father and does not deserve a baby if he can’t step up for a SICK pregnant woman who is only ILL (vommiting, nausea, fatiage ) because he put a baby in her. Don’t sacrafice your body for the seed of a useless father with cruelty issues. Hes showing you EXACTLEY who he is. Believe him.

Minimum_Reference_73 −  NTA, get out before you and your baby are both trapped with this man.

MD7001 −  NTA. Does your H think this is the 1950s? WTF? What’s his favorite show? The Flintstones? Look I’m a dude and I would be embarrassed listening to another guy talk like this. It’s your job to push through? Seriously? Boy talk about huge red flags!🚩🚩🚩 You better address this NOW, cuz if he gets away with this now, it’s gonna get a lot worse. Good luck

Upstairs-Series5032 −  NTA but why tf did HE start crying?. Is he mentally stable?