AITA for getting upset after my husband asked for a paternity test?
A Reddit user recently shared their heartbreak after their husband of several years asked for a paternity test on their newborn son, allegedly for “peace of mind.” Though the husband claims it’s not an accusation of infidelity, his request deeply hurt the user, who felt it implied distrust.
Despite his reassurances, he brought up “small incidents” that supposedly fueled his doubts, which only intensified her distress. They’ve since had several arguments, and the user is now torn, struggling to understand how to mend their relationship. Read the full story below…
‘ AITA for getting upset after my husband asked for a paternity test?’
My husband (30M) and I (27F) recently welcomed our baby boy, just a few months ago. Adjusting to life with a newborn has been challenging, but until recently, I had no reason to think he was unhappy or suspected anything.
Two days ago, out of the blue, he asked for a paternity test. He insisted it wasn’t because he suspected me of cheating and that he only wanted “peace of mind,” mentioning how he’d hate to unknowingly raise a child who might not be his. I was heartbroken.
To me, asking for a paternity test feels like an accusation of infidelity, even though he kept insisting that wasn’t the case. But during the conversation, he even brought up little “incidents” that supposedly fueled his doubts, which only added to my hurt and confusion.
O**rwhelmed and in tears, I ended up shouting at him and leaving to calm down. The next day, I couldn’t bring myself to talk to him and Last night, he confronted me about the silent treatment, and we ended up in another heated argument. Since then, we haven’t spoken.
Honestly I’m at a complete loss. I love him deeply, and I don’t want our marriage to unravel—especially now, with a baby involved. This is the first time we’ve had a conflict like this, and I’m struggling to make sense of it all. So AITA for reacting the way I did? Is there something I’m missing?
Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:
Cautious_Chknleggs − My brother always accused his girlfriends of cheating and even asked me the day one of his kids was born, if I thought he looked like him.
Turns out my brother was the one cheating on every single girl he dated. Maybe OP’s husband is cheating and is deflecting to make himself feel better. I’d suggest counseling….NTA
Odd-Special3455 − My sons father asked me if our son was his…found out later he was cheating on me pretty much the whole 10 years we were together
Ok-Analyst-5801 − NTA There’s no way to ask for a paternity test and it not be an accusation of cheating. Unless you have been cheating you have every right to feel any emotion, sad, mad, livid.
Leading_Cell_line − Tell him you’ll do the paternity test but he has to hand over his phone and computer for « peace of mind ». Then serve him divorce papers lol. If you can’t trust your partner you don’t have a solid relationship
PicklesMcpickle − Tell him you’ll do it a paternity if you he gives you his cell phones and open passwords to his email.
Odd_Technology_9106 − Super NTA. I just had a baby and I CANNOT IMAGINE how stressful this would feel in the newborn days. You’re most certainly NTA, and I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. Its absolutely an accusation of infidelity to ask for a paternity test.
poseidondeep − Of course you’re NTA.. He IS accusing you of infidelity. Do the paternity test and serve him with divorce papers
ConsistentCheesecake − A request for a paternity test is an accusation of cheating, and it’s weird to me when people like your husband try to claim it isn’t.
If he has some reason to think you’re cheating, he should just say that. But it’s obviously going to destroy the relationship for him to demand scientific proof that you’re not sleeping around. NTA
recyclopath_ − Men who accuse you of infidelity are typically cheating themselves. It’s disturbingly common for men to cheat on their pregnant partners.
Mountain_Monitor_262 − NTA-You might want to discreetly investigate your husband and find out who and when he cheated on you with. His accusations didn’t come out of no where. He’s projecting his infidelity on you.
Do you think the husband’s request was reasonable for peace of mind, or was it a breach of trust too deep to overlook? How would you respond in a similar situation? Share your thoughts below!
