AITA for getting so mad that my dad gave my half sister something my mom left me?

A Reddit user (17M) is frustrated and angry after discovering that his dad gave his half-sister three bracelets that were meant to be his, from a box of his late mother’s personal items. The box, which was specifically left to him in his mother’s will, contained cherished mementos, including the bracelets.

When the user confronted his father, his dad suggested that he let his half-sister keep the bracelets as an act of accepting her into the family. This caused a heated argument, with the user feeling hurt and betrayed, as he believes his father violated his mother’s wishes. Now, he’s wondering if he’s overreacting.

‘ AITA for getting so mad that my dad gave my half sister something my mom left me?’

My mom died when I (17m) was 6. She left me a box of her things. It was a hand made box with my name on it and there was a letter tied to it for me to read when I was old enough. She also added the box and everything inside it to her will.

So everything in it was 100% meant to be mine and only for me, not for my dad or anyone else. He was supposed to keep it safe for me though and he kept it in his room for that. My dad has a daughter who’s 8. His relationship with her mom broke down and he has full custody of her so it means we all live together.

A few weeks ago I noticed my half sister had my mom’s three bracelets that were inside my box. I asked about it and she said I wanted her to have them. I confronted dad and he told me it was a nice gesture and he wanted me to let her keep them. He said I won’t wear them so what’s the harm.

I got mad and told him they’re mom’s and I’m mom’s only kid. Dad told me that didn’t matter and I said it does, I said his daughter is not my mom’s child and she’s not who I wanted to have them in the future. He told me I should consider it an act of accepting my half sister and that I don’t make enough of an effort to do that.

I told him that’s not the way to get me to accept her. We argued about it. I’ve been pissed ever since and I made my half sister give them back. She resisted and she cried which pissed dad off but I never want her to have them.

Dad told me the anger isn’t fair and I should look at the bigger picture and understand he still loves mom and he wanted my half sister to have something from her. I told him to give her something he kept. Not something she was clear was for me. I told him it couldn’t be more clear.

And I told him his daughter doesn’t deserve anything when she’s not my mom’s kid. Dad told me my anger isn’t right and I should reconsider my stance. He said being so angry about it says I don’t care about him or my half sister.. AITA?

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

WebInformal9558 −  NTA. Those are yours, and you have every right to decide what to do with them. And your father is being emotionally m**ipulative.

I_wanna_be_anemone −  Your dad betrayed your mom’s memory by disregarding her will. He betrayed you by building some delusion that his dead wife would approve of him stealing from her child.

You can love someone and lose respect for them, and you’re rapidly losing respect for your selfish untrustworthy pathetic excuse of a father. Half sister has a living mother.

When she drops dead, the kid can have whatever she wants from that woman. Until then, you’re going to protect and actually treasure what your mom left you, because he’s proven you can’t trust him. NTA  

camkats −  NTA its time for you to keep the box yourself. Do you have someone else who is trustworthy to keep it on your behalf? Be sure to know the name of the attorney who executed the will in case this happens again- what your dad did is illegal.

Be clear and tell your dad that under no circumstances he can take anything from the box. You do not give permission for that at any time.

Imaginary-Yak-6487 −  NTA. This was something that your mom left for you. Tell dad that this would be something for you to pass on to your children, not a paternal half sister.

LakeGlen4287 −  NTA. Dad is totally wrong here. I don’t care if his motives were well intended toward his other daughter, he has literally no legal right to the items that were willed to you. Like literally under the law, he is breaking his executor fiduciary responsibility.

So take everything back and be responsible for your own safekeeping the items. Ask a relative on your mother’s side to open a bank safety deposit box for you and store them there.

Awkward-Tourist979 −  She’s 8 – take it from her and hide it and deny it.  She will forget and it will demonstrate to your useless father that he shouldn’t give things to an 8 year old.

EarlyElderberry7215 −  NTA, your dad stole from your inheritence.

plainenglishattorney −  Attorney here, and I first freely acknowledge this would be going overboard, BUT… technically (in the U.S.), minors don’t own property, and the real ownership of property is in the hands of their parents or guardians until they turn 18.

That said, when OP’s mother left him those possessions through her Will and the court gave custody to the dad until he turned 18, dad took on a fiduciary responsibility to care for those items until OP turned 18. What the dad did was not just “dishonoring the mother’s memory and wishes,” it was a crime and breach of his fiduciary duties.

OP could take dad to court at 18 and demand all of the property be transferred to him, and the dad could be in a world of legal trouble if he doesn’t. Again, it’s going overboard but that is how it would be looked at in the jurisdiction I’m licensed in.

_s1m0n_s3z −  Your anger is right. Those were not his to give. He is completely in the wrong. NTA. Tell him we said so.

Otherwise-Milk-3509 −  NTA. What on earth was your dad thinking, giving an EIGHT year old (who’s no relation to his deceased wife), something that was left for you? Eight year olds aren’t generally the most careful of creatures. Your dad is a AH, look after your mums box from now on, or ask someone trustworthy.

Do you think the user’s anger is justified, or is he being too possessive of his late mother’s things? How would you approach a similar situation in a blended family? Share your thoughts and experiences below!