AITA for getting my nephew and niece Christmas presents?

A Redditor, a 27-year-old woman, shared an argument she had with her sister over being affectionate toward their mother. The situation escalated when the sister insulted her for being “clingy” and “annoying.” The Redditor is now wondering if she would be wrong for buying her nephew and niece Christmas presents, despite her sister blocking her and refusing to let the kids open any gifts from her. Read the full story below to decide if the Redditor’s actions are justified.

‘ AITA for getting my nephew and niece Christmas presents?’

AITA, I 27F got into an argument with my 32F sister a few weeks back. She and her baby daddy dropped of my nephew 2M and niece 8mo F at my moms house late Saturday night, do they could go to the laundry mat. My mom agreed and I helped her. I held my niece while my mom took care of a few things in the house she needed to do. I helped her entertain the kids, I ordered pizza for everyone.

My sister and her baby daddy got back and I joked that they waited for me to clean up the poopy diaper to come back my sister just joked back that yup. we all gathered in the living room, my sister sat on a rocking chair. I sat on the couch and I put my head on my mom’s lap. This is when my sister started berating me about being c**ngy and annoying. At first I didn’t care and when my mom asked what was going on (my mom doesn’t speak English) I told her my sister was being jealous.

My mom told my sister she could lay her head on her other side of her lap and that she didn’t need to be jealous. My sister started saying how I was too old to be this c**ngy and annoying, that I was the only one of my siblings who does these stupid things and that needed to grow up. I got fed up when she got her baby daddy to join in on the insults towards me and I called her a “f**king b**ch” before I went up to my room.

I got a text the next day from her saying “sorry if my comments offended you”, I didn’t take this as a genuine apology as it doesn’t show accountability. I told her to reflect on her actions, emotions, and words and then we could have a serious discussion as this is not the first time she has done something like this and that this half ass apology did not cut it.

She texted back doubling down on what she had said the night prior and that I make myself look stupid for being affectionate to my mom who has never been affectionate (she’s been affectionate to me). She said i need to stop being childish. No one wants me around. That I disrupt their peace and that I shouldn’t be at my mom’s house.

I said she is still the jealous, bitter, s**t talking girl she has always been and I can be at my moms house because she is my mom. I also said I don’t care for her choices either so I don’t care what she thinks of me. She said she didn’t want me around her kids if this is the opinion I have of her and she was blocking me.

Now that Christmas is coming up my mom asked her if I get her kids presents will she be ok with that. She told my mom she will not let them open them. My mom suggested I don’t get them anything. Growing up my dad’s side of the family once invited all of us over for Christmas and our aunts and uncles gave my cousins presents except us.

I don’t want to exclude any of my n nephews or nieces. It would be immature to take out the argument on the kids. On the other hand I don’t to give her ammunitionto mess up Christmas as she’s done in the past because something doesn’t go her way. So would I be an a**hole if I got my nephew and niece presents?

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

FeedbackCreative8334 −  NTA. There is no need to punish your niece and nephew because their mother is acting out. Don’t worry about her blocking you because she will come around again as soon as she wants something from you.

HandBananasRevenge −  NTA. Your sister sounds petty and controlling.  The fact that she’s willing to cause a scene to get her way and is willing to sabotage things when she doesn’t, tells me she is a massive AH.   It takes a special kind of AH to berate you over something so silly after you helped watch her children.  

Fresh_Process6822 −  You WNBTA. But also your baby niece won’t even know what is happening—so you’re essentially going to be turning the gift over to your sister, unless it’s unwrapped and something your baby niece would play with/use immediately? Your nephew, at 2 yo, likely understands somewhat.

I’d also be prepared to be the grown up when you get to the gift giving. I’d say something like, “We are disagreeing, but that does not involve the children. I do not want to overlook or punish them because of conflict between us. I got them gifts because I love them. If you decide not to allow them to have the gifts, that’s your choice. But I refuse to be the one to deny them Christmas gifts.” Then, if sis wants to triple down as an AH, so be it. Your conscience is clean and she can stew in the boiling ick of her own pettiness.

oop_norf −  INFO – when you say: I don’t to give her ammunition to mess up Christmas as she’s done in the past…do you mean that you’re planning to spend Christmas with her? As in, you’re expecting to be in the same house, all together? While in the middle of a massive feud? And you’re expecting it to somehow be ok? It doesn’t matter what you do or don’t do about the children’s presents, this is going to be a f**king disaster. 

CapriLoungeRudy −  NTA, but it might be a waste to get them a gift this year, especially with your sister’s decree. The 8 mo old won’t notice and the 2 year old is not counting how many gifts he gets this year. If you really feel the need to get a gift, get them a savings bond or something that you or your Mom can hold on to.

best_servedpetty −  Something is missing from this story…all good, poop joke, then head on lap….drama explosion. I’m not understanding why you sister is such a b**ch, like what did you do..just live your life? Or is there some sibling history here that you aren’t mentioning.. Is she often so temperamental?. Or is it just with you? And also mom was so sweet. ” I got space for two”. Sister f**king flips!

2dogslife −  Weaponize the presents! GO buy Really Loud Toys. Like tin musical instruments. Kids LOVE them and parents HATE them.. It sends the “right” message.. Oh, never admit it though. Signed – evil, but beloved, auntie.

Sunshiny__Day −  NTA. And I think it’s so sweet that you feel comfortable laying with your head in your mom’s lap even though you’re an adult. I’m 53 and I wish my mom were still alive so that I could cuddle with her.