AITA for getting my neighbor and client banned by all the local babysitters after they tried to renege on a deal?

The holiday season often brings a mix of unexpected adventures and minor misadventures, and this story is no exception. Imagine a sunny Caribbean escape where a young babysitter embarks on a paid vacation filled with promises of fun and relaxation, only to be caught in a tangle of miscommunication and shifting expectations. The air was festive, the resort inviting, and the deal—care for kids in exchange for a tidy sum plus leisure time—seemed straightforward.

Yet, as the vibrant palm trees swayed and the ocean sparkled, a simple agreement spiraled into a full-blown drama. The babysitter’s steadfast commitment clashed with the neighbors’ sudden change of plans, igniting a controversy that rippled through the local babysitting community. The ensuing fallout reminds us how even the best-laid plans can go sideways when trust and clear communication are compromised.

‘AITA for getting my neighbor and client banned by all the local babysitters after they tried to renege on a deal?’

Over the holidays I (F17) got a chance to go to the Caribbean with my neighbors as their nanny. My parents weren’t thrilled but it was after Christmas so they let me go. The deal was pretty simple. It was ten days at an all inclusive resort. I would share a room with the kids and take care of them for seven days and nights. In return I got $500 and three days to myself.

The rooms were adjoining. I think that’s the right word. A door joined them. My parents insisted I get everything in writing so there were no mistakes. Basically we agreed that I would work two days and take one day off. Over and over. No problem I thought and I checked out the included activities and any excursions I might like.

On my third day off I had planned to go scuba diving. I got up early and went on my excursion. When I got back the parents were mad that I had left without warning. I reminded them that we had a deal and they said that they had met another couple there and were going golfing and that I screwed up their plans. I don’t know why they made plans on one of my free days.

They were upset all the way home. When we got back they posted about how irresponsible I was. One of the other families called me to get my side of the story. I sent them a picture of the deal we agreed on. They said they knew I wouldn’t do what I was being accused of. Then they started commenting on the posts by my neighbors.

My parents did this also. But I think everyone thought they were just protecting me. So now it’s a big deal and everyone knows that they tried to change our deal without talking to me. Some of the other babysitters, or their parents, are now saying that they won’t babysit for my neighbors any more.

I feel bad about it because they paid a lot for my vacation. And if they had asked I probably would have switched my excursion to the last day. Anyway they are upset that I narced, which I didn’t. They said that I could have talked to them if I had a problem. But I’m not the one who made it public.

Navigating agreements in personal service roles is a delicate balancing act. In this case, the babysitter upheld a written contract that clearly outlined her workdays and days off, establishing a framework that should have prevented any misunderstandings. The situation underlines a crucial lesson: when both parties sign on to an agreement, the onus is on them to adhere to the terms. It’s a reminder that clarity and documentation are key to protecting one’s interests in any arrangement.

The conflict deepens when we consider the perspectives at play. On one side, the babysitter maintained a professional stance, sticking to the agreed-upon schedule despite unexpected demands. On the other, the neighbors’ attempt to revise the plan without proper discussion led to public shaming on social media—a move that backfired spectacularly. This clash not only tarnished reputations but also sparked broader concerns within the babysitting community, calling into question the reliability of personal contracts in informal work settings.

As negotiation expert William Ury, co-author of Getting to Yes, once said, “The power of a clear agreement lies in its ability to set expectations and prevent future conflicts.” This insight encapsulates the essence of the dilemma. By having a written deal, the babysitter was able to defend her actions effectively.

Ury’s perspective reinforces the notion that clear communication and firm boundaries are indispensable. His advice, echoed in numerous professional discussions and articles, serves as a valuable guide for anyone entering into an agreement, ensuring that both parties understand and respect the established terms.

Looking at the broader picture, this incident is a microcosm of a larger societal issue: the erosion of trust in informal agreements. It highlights the pitfalls of shifting expectations in personal service roles and stresses the importance of sticking to one’s word. For those who find themselves in similar situations, the takeaway is clear—always secure your agreements in writing, communicate openly, and never be afraid to stand by your principles. Such practices not only protect individual interests but also help foster a community built on mutual respect and accountability.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

The Reddit community didn’t hold back on this one. As lively and humorous as ever, users from every corner weighed in on the drama, commending the babysitter for her steadfastness while roasting the neighbors for their flip-flopping behavior. Here are some hot takes from the online discourse—candid and entertaining, they capture the essence of a modern-day babysitting saga.

Doktor_Seagull −  NTA.You made an agreement IN WRITING which they insisted on. They wanted to renegotiate the terms of your agreement, so it’s down to them to discuss that with you at an appropriate time (not on the day they wanted to switch).

Even then you would still have been completely within your rights to decline their request as per the original agreement. You did nothing wrong, you stuck to what was agreed. They then decided to defame you on social media over this. There is literally no other reason for them to make their “annoyance” public other than to shame YOU.

Fortunately for you it backfired on them and now as a consequence of their SECOND mistake they have gotten themselves blacklisted by other sitters. Do not feel bad for them. “You reap what you sow” and they certainly have. This is not your responsibility in the slightest. I just hope you got your $500.

KronkLaSworda −  “When we got back they posted about how irresponsible I was.” Boom, **NTA**. They made it public, so you (and others) told your side of the story to protect your reputation. They chose to lie about the agreement in public.

“They said that I could have talked to them if I had a problem.” That ship sailed the second they posted their lies. Don’t feel guilty. There are too many deserving parents/kids needing baby sitters for these people to get any good, hard-working baby sitters.

No_Lavishness_3206 −  NTA. Seven days of babysitting costs more than $500. Those three days off were the rest of your payment. 

MuddyWaters97 −  NTA. You and the parents had a deal IN WRITING stating that you would have a set three days off of the time you were there and like you said, they could have simply asked you to move one of your free days if it was that big a deal.

It baffles me how they’re trying to say you’re the bad guy essentially when you never started anything nor did you make it public originally. Hopefully the parents come to their senses and realize that it wasn’t that big a deal and if they’re that rich they can easily meet with their golf buddies anytime lol.

BulbasaurRanch −  lol they fucked around and are finding out now. “They said I could’ve talked to them if I had a problem”. – is just throw that back in their faces. They made it public, they did this to themselves.. NTA

tinyd71 −  NTA. They made an arrangement and you followed through with it. Then they publicised their dissatisfaction of the arrangement and their lack of follow through with it. If other babysitters now don’t want to babysit for this family, perhaps it’s because they’re also concerned that the family won’t follow through on promises they make!

Faster_Furiosa −  It is the posting about you- a teenager, by adults who have a contract – for me. NTA. They should be happy you didn’t sue them for libel for trying to ruin your business. They got away cheap. Good for you to have a contract, sorry that you had to learn this so young. And it helps the other babysitters as well.

kurokomainu −  NTA They didn’t think both times. They didn’t think to ask you to change your day off (or assumed they could just take it from you). They didn’t think when they posted about you, as if the truth would never catch up to them. They deserve the bad reputation they got. They can’t be trusted to keep their end of the deals they make and will casually badmouth babysitters unjustly.

Other babysitters deserve to be warned — and this is aside from your right to protect your own reputation. The fact that they are still blaming you and not seeing that it’s all their own fault is yet another reason you and other babysitters should stay away.

YouthNAsia63 −  I’m sorry, you had an agreement in writing, before you even left to go on the trip. And these people tried to change the deal and take advantage of you and got upset and tried to trash your reputation.

But you had the deal in writing and the neighbors were exposed. And now it looks like a lot of people won’t babysit for them again. Doesn’t it suck so much for them, And good for your parents for anticipating the possibility of shenanigans and insisting on the deal in writing. You have some smart parents. NTA

Additional_Alfalfa35 −  NTA. As you say, they made it public. The fact that another family contacted you for your side of the story shows you have a good reputation.

In wrapping up, this story serves as a compelling reminder about the importance of clear agreements and communication in any relationship, whether professional or personal. It sparks a broader conversation about accountability, trust, and how a single misstep can ripple through an entire community. What would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation? Share your thoughts and join the discussion—your perspective might just be the next piece in the puzzle of effective, fair dealing.