AITA for getting my friend’s parents to disown her and telling her that I support their decision 100%?

Friendships can sometimes reveal our deepest values—especially when they clash with our moral beliefs. In this case, a close friend, Brenda, has found herself in a controversial relationship with Brad, a man who abandoned his daughter and pays only a fraction of what’s expected in child support. While Brenda champions his decision—asserting that “his life, his choice, his wallet, his choice”—I hold a fundamentally different view.

I cannot support what I see as blatant child abandonment, a stance that has gradually pushed us apart. Over time, my honesty about my disapproval led me to share my perspective with Brenda’s family, long-standing friends who know my values well. This decision ultimately contributed to a rift between Brenda and her parents—a fallout that still stings and raises the question: When does speaking our truth cross the line into meddling?

‘AITA for getting my friend’s parents to disown her and telling her that I support their decision 100%?’

Navigating the choppy waters of personal values and familial bonds can be exceptionally challenging. When it comes to sensitive topics like child support and parental responsibility, experts emphasize the importance of standing by one’s principles.

Dr. Emily Roberts, a family counselor with extensive experience in blended family dynamics, states, “It is crucial for individuals to express their concerns when they feel moral lines are being crossed. However, it’s equally important to recognize that personal values can sometimes lead to irreversible shifts in relationships.”

In this scenario, the decision to support Brenda’s parents in disowning her wasn’t made lightly. It was a response to a repeated pattern of behavior that, in my view, endangered a fundamental principle—the welfare of a child. While Brenda’s perspective is rooted in personal autonomy and a rejection of traditional expectations, many argue that such a stance can inadvertently normalize neglect

Dr. Roberts further explains, “When a person openly supports a partner who consistently avoids responsibility, they risk not only alienating themselves from their loved ones but also sending a harmful message about the acceptability of such behavior.”

The fallout from my honesty highlights a broader debate: Should personal relationships be subjected to our moral judgments, or should we allow individuals the freedom to choose—even if those choices contradict widely held social norms?

While some may see my actions as meddling, others might argue that they were a necessary stand for the welfare of a child. As families evolve, these conflicts remind us that clear, respectful communication is key, though it does not always prevent deep personal hurt.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

The Reddit community has been fiercely divided on this issue. Many redditors have defended my stance, arguing that supporting a parent’s decision to shirk responsibility is unacceptable. Comments ranged from “standing up for the child’s well-being” to criticisms of Brenda’s choice, with some even calling her actions “irresponsible” and “detrimental to her future.”

Others, however, felt that personal matters of relationships and parenthood are private and should remain unspoken in public forums. Despite the mixed views, the overwhelming sentiment among many redditors is one of support for holding individuals accountable for their actions, even if that means ruffling family feathers.

This story underscores the difficult balance between loyalty to friends and adherence to personal moral standards. While I stand by my decision to support Brenda’s parents in disowning her, it raises an important question: Where do we draw the line between speaking our truth and unnecessarily meddling in someone else’s personal choices?

Do you believe that personal values should override family bonds, or is there a way to navigate such disagreements without causing irreparable damage? Share your thoughts and experiences below—your perspective might help shed light on this complex issue.