AITA for getting mad that my friend is using my paid wifi on a cruise?

A Reddit user shares her frustration over a friend who is using her paid Wi-Fi on a cruise, despite having chosen to go without. The user, an 18-year-old, paid $80 for Wi-Fi access while her friend, who opted for a social media detox, initially borrowed her phone for quick messages.

However, this turned into longer conversations, leaving the user feeling awkward and irritated. After jokingly suggesting her friend should chip in for the Wi-Fi, the friend became upset, leading to a tense conversation later that night. The user is now questioning whether her feelings of being taken advantage of are justified. Read the original story below for more details.

‘ AITA for getting mad that my friend is using my paid wifi on a cruise?’

1, (18F) along with a friend (20F), am currently on a 4 day cruise trip that does not provide wifi unless you pay. My friend decided early on that she didn’t want to pay for wifi because she wanted to do a social media detox, I, on the other hand, paid for the $80 wifi which covers the 4 day trip.

My friend was pretty annoyed that I bought wifi as she wanted to do the detox together, but I didn’t see a reason for me to do it because my phone use isn’t really that ‘out-of-hand’.

However, ever since I bought wifi, whenever I go on my phone, my friend asks if she can borrow it to text her boyfriend or parents, which I agreed to at first as I thought she was just responding to some messages, but as time went on, she began having longer conversations through my phone whenever I’m on it (10-15 mins each time).

I got really sick of it, as each time, I just had to sit there awkwardly and wait for her to finish. Eventually, I got pretty irritated and jokingly said to her “Haha, you’re basically getting wifi for free.” And she replied with “Yea I know, it’s great that I’m leeching off of you”, I then said to her jokingly (once again) “Oh haha I should make you chip in and transfer me.”.

My friend got visibly irritated and annoyed and became very quiet, and when I tried offering my phone, she rejected. We had a conversation later that night after everything’s calmed down, she just said “I think it was really out of pocket that you said that.” and did not reflect on her own actions at all.

I didn’t think it was worth starting an argument so I just apologised and left it there. I’m upset at the fact that she has a job and is making money while I don’t have a job yet, and she still decides to leech off of me. Am I the ass for feeling upset?

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

AdJolly4124 −  NTA, make her pay for it if shes using it.

jrm1102 −  ESH – her more than you of course. Maybe in the future if something is bothering you, communicate not passive aggressively and it wont escalate the conflict.

solo_throwaway254247 −  Now that she realized she can’t actually do the detox, she should stop hogging your phone. She should either pay to use your wifi on her phone (not yours) or get her own wifi.

Taking your phone and having super long conversations is super rude of her. And she’s trying to make you be the bad person so that she continues mooching off you and inconveniencing you. Don’t give in to her manipulation. NTA. Your friend is the a-hole here.

[Reddit User] −  Obviously NTA. Just say no.

robjohnlechmere −  “Wow buying that thing is stupid”. “Actually, I think I’ll buy it”
“Ok, well then could we use it together?”. “Sure! We could even buy it together”. “No, that’s stupid”

annotatedkate −  ESH. Yes she is taking advantage and you are being passive aggressive. Please communicate directly. It won’t stop other people from acting badly but it will train them not to escalate things with you.

swillshop −  OP You have set yourself up every. single. step of the way. You are your own worst enemy. The first time she asked, and you lent her your phone is completely understandable. Maybe the second time was OK.

But when it hit the third time (in what one day? two days?), that was your time to NOT JOKE, but to say flat out, “*If you want to keep using my wifi, then you need to chip in half the cost.*”

It should have NEVER got to the point where you are waiting to use your own phone. Long before that, you needed to say, “*No. I’m using my phone. You chose to detox. I have already let you have it X times. You should have bought your own.*” Instead, you “just sit there awkwardly”. You do not stand up for yourself at all.

Then you try to complain as a JOKE. Either you have a complaint or you think it’s funny. You hide behind the joke and hope they will stop doing what you are mildly complaining about. What do you think a moocher is going to do?!? Understand the complaint? OR embrace the joke?

So you listen to her complain about your weak attempt to stand up for yourself. You disagree, but you choose to say out loud, “*I apologize.*” Surprise! She doesn’t feel bad. Why should she? All she’s heard from you is a joke and an apology.

So instead of using your words with her, you are complaining to us. We can all agree that she’s an ah for happily mooching off your wifi to the point of keeping you from using your own phone.

But you are going to have to learn that it’s absolutely OK to be calmly and clearly direct with your words, to say ‘no’ when you feel it’s your right to say ‘no’. And to not apologize to the person that is actually taking advantage of you. Because of that,. ESH.

Jerseygirl2468 −  NTA if she wants to use a service you paid for, she should contribute some money to it.

cassiesfeetpics −  ESH – say no. grow a spine and say no.

FunnyEfficient1108 −  You should’ve responded I think it’s really out of pocket you thought it funny you were leeching off of me during your so called detox. What you can’t afford $40 to share? Don’t ever apologize when someone is using u and never let the gaslighter turn the situation on u and act like they’re the victim. NTA.