AITA for getting frustrated with my mom for being in the kitchen at the same time as me?

A Reddit user (18F) shared their frustration with their mom, who frequently occupies the kitchen at the same time as them during their daily routine of packing lunch. Despite asking politely for some space, the mom continues to insist on doing her own chores in the kitchen during this time, leading to several frustrating encounters.

Recently, the user accidentally cut their finger while trying to prepare lunch, which escalated their frustration, and they snapped at their mom. Now, the family is divided over whether the user was justified in their reaction. To learn more about how this situation unfolded, read the full story below…

‘ AITA for getting frustrated with my mom for being in the kitchen at the same time as me?’

I (18F) have a super repetitive and predictable routine. Every morning at 9:55, I go into the kitchen to pack my lunch for work. Every morning at 9:55, my mom decides she absolutely needs to be in the kitchen as well. Emptying the garbage, rearranging stuff in the cupboards, wiping down the counter, whatever.

But it’s like she waits for me to go to make my lunch and then comes in. The kitchen isn’t very big, so she’s always bumping into me while I’m cutting stuff up or standing in front of cupboards I need to get into. I’ve asked her politely a couple times if she could wait until I’m done (I take 10 minutes, max), but she snapped at me for “ordering her around in her own house.”

Yesterday, I was cutting up vegetables and she came in to wash dishes, and ended up bumping into me while I was using the knife. I got a small surface-level cut on my finger. It honestly wasn’t bad, but I was so frustrated with her that I snapped and said “Maybe if you didn’t insist on being my personal backpack every morning, this wouldn’t have happened.”

My parents are saying I’m an AH for snapping at her for this, but my sister is siding with me. I feel bad for being rude, but I also think it was partially justified on my end.. AITA?

Check out how the community responded:

[Reddit User] −  Snapping at your mom is not nice but I understand the frustration. Maybe do a little experiment and try getting to the kitchen earlier like maybe 9:30 to pack your lunch. If she goes out of her way to be there earlier there then she’s def the AH Edit: Due to OP’s response I update my comment to a soft NTA bc it sounds like mom just wants to be around you/your presence in the kitchen reminds her of things to do

ILY4evah −  Yeah how about doing it earlier, or during the evening before? Just to gauge the level of annoyance she is seeking to cause you. Should not be a issue for her to do what she does when you are not there.

haganekoibito −  Probably NTA. I agree with the others. Try doing your chores a little early and see if she does it. But keep in mind, it might not be done maliciously. My husband often shows up in the kitchen during my normal routine because he just instinctively wants to be around me, or he has his own schedule that coincides,

or my being in there reminds him of what he needs to do and if he doesnt do it right then, he forgets. Not saying it isnt agitating at times, but when you’re living with others you need to find ways to coexist harmoniously.

millenialbullshite −  Nta. I’m an adult. I live with my mother. She’s my favorite person and we get along very well. We take turns cooking. ANYTIME I’m cooking and in the corner of the counters preparing dinner she HAS to come behind me, reach across me and get her nighttime medicine out from the cabinet.

The time I’m doing this does not matter. Depending on what we have going on for the day this preparation can happen anytime between 430-545ish at night. Its not time sensitive medication. She never says excuse me and she cant wait till I’m done apparently.

Also if she’s the one cooking she doesn’t take her medication till she’s done cooking before she eats. It’s super rude and I don’t know why she’s physically incapable of waiting 20 minutes for me to get out of the way. Or saying excuse me.

I’ve said things nicely a few times about it and straight up yelled even more. Moms man. Sometimes they do be like that. She doesn’t hold a grudge when I yell, always apologizes but does the same thing next time.

230goingByeBye −  Going to go with NTA. My mother also has this things where she picks the room you are in to do her busy work. Watching TV? Oh, time to vacuum. Making food? Perfect time to mop the kitchen floor. Some people just have this innate need to be right up in some ones space. It’s rude.

Poon_the_Racoon −  My mom is like this. When I’ve been baking she’s even gone as far as to put bowls and utensils I’m still using in the sink when my back is turned. She’s poured out marinades I’ve still needed to use and then says “whoops” and claims the kitchen is better if you clean as you go.

I’ve even said aloud “I’m still using this” and she’ll swipe it out from under me. Then I’m taking out another bowl and wasting water cleaning it when I could’ve continued using the same bowl in the first place. My solution?. Bark at her.

Me and my brother discovered this works every time. It’s so unsettling to have some bark at you, our overbearing kitchen freak mom backs off immediately and we’re left in peace. Is it weird? Yeah. Does it work? 100% of the time.

CandylandCanada −  ESH. You have the option of changing your routine, too. Make your lunch the night before, or earlier in morning. One of two things will happen: either you will have your alone time in the kitchen, or she will do the same thing in which case you can have an adult conversation with her about her behaviour. You win either way.

cover–silence −  It seems like your mom uses the situation to spend a little time with you… Is she chatty when in the kitchen or annoyed, that you’re there? Just curious, because it sounds like an attempt on her side to be close to you. She is your mom after all, and moms do get a little weird when their children grow up…

LeafBucketLoophole −  NTA I had a mom like yours. Next time she enters the kitchen just stop what your doing, turn towards her and stare. Just stand there and stare at her. When she asks what you’re doing say that you’re waiting for her to be done so you can continue making your food. Worked for me 🤷‍♀️

sweatshower −  NTA That wouldn’t fly in my house. I would have snapped at her a lot worse, a lot sooner. Does she have a tendency to purposely be difficult or petty? Can you just make your food at a different time? If she’s still there even when you change times, then she’s definitely doing it on purpose.

At that point, I would start going out of my way to make things more difficult for her, personally.