AITA for getting engaged after my brother’s wedding?
A Reddit user shares their engagement story, which has unexpectedly sparked tension within their family. Just days after their brother’s small destination wedding, they got engaged while exploring the Grand Canyon and shared the news with family. However, the newlyweds accused them of trying to “compete” and felt the proposal’s timing and location were inconsiderate.
‘ AITA for getting engaged after my brother’s wedding?’
My brother and his now wife got married three days ago. A very small destination ceremony under 15 people total. My now fiancé and I extended our trip after everyone went home and spent a couple of days exploring the Grand Canyon, a couple hours north of the wedding, where he proposed. When I shared the news with my brother and now SIL, he responded with hostility saying that it looked like we were competing.
I apologized, quickly realizing that he was advocating for my SIL and that she felt hurt (although I’m truly failing to understand why). I also texted her a separate apology and explained that it was not our intent to encroach and just wanted to share the news with family and that it’s my belief that there’s room for happiness for everyone. She did not respond.
In response to my apology, my brother doubled down and said the timing and location were hurtful and that we shouldn’t planned around the wedding.
Here’s what Redditors had to say:
abalone55 − NTA! And I can see you’re trying valiantly to understand, but I’m not sure your brother or his wife will be able to give you a good reason for their reaction. Cause their reaction is WILD! Sure, it’s rude to propose at someone else’s wedding…..but that’s not what happened.
The fact that you and your fiancé got engaged a few days after their wedding, before you flew home….is a totally different thing. Also, the level of hostility in that message from your brother is n**ty and definitely not normal. I’m so sorry that he treats you like that.
eowynsheiress − NTA. Your brother needs to calm down. The bride gets a day, her one wedding day. She does not get a location, a week, or anything else. She gets her wedding. That is all. You did not encroach.
fallingintopolkadots − NTA. You were proposed to *days* after the wedding while exploring the state the wedding was in, and several hours away from the wedding site, and also this wedding was an “elopement”.
I get that eloping has changed definitions from essentially marrying in secret and private, to a generally a small planned wedding…. but she’s throwing a tantrum as if this were an all-expense-paid luxury wedding in a rented locale and that you were proposed to the same evening as the wedding steps away from said wedding and announced it in front of everyone.
RedneckDebutante − They owner neither the weekend nor the state. NTA at all. I’m petty, so I’d tell them I’m sorry their joy at wedding the love of their life is overpowered by jealousy of your engagement. Like, shouldn’t they have more important s**t going on?
No_Conflict3188 − NTA. People need to get over themselves. I personally have never understood this wedding insecurity. Truly, what is the big deal if someone gets engaged if it’s not changing the tone of the celebration. But frankly everyone should be able to celebrate happiness together when they have it.
Winteraine78 − NTA! You didn’t do it at the wedding or during any after ceremony festivities. You extended your trip and it happened after when everyone had left. Your SIL and brother had their day. Life does not pause for everyone else after their SINGLE DAY! That’s the craziest reason to be pissed at someone. Congratulations on your engagement!
bkwormtricia − NTA. While doing this at his wedding/reception would be wrong, your brother does NOT own the month or even the week AFTER the wedding! Your timing was fine.
bookworm-mama5 − NTA. You guys didn’t get engaged at the wedding. You guys didn’t make a show of announcing your engagement at the wedding. You guys didn’t even get engaged the same day as the wedding (which would be a stretch but I could see pictures in the same outfits you wore being confusing as to whether you got engaged there) You guys waited a couple of days, and were at a different location. They got their day, that’s what the wedding typically is!
pnwwaterfallwoman − NTA, extra nta. You waited until after their day.
languagelover17 − NTA. you didn’t steal any of their thunder, congratulations!
Do you think the timing of the proposal was an innocent coincidence, or should the couple have waited longer to share their news? Was the brother justified in feeling upset? Let us know your take in the comments!