AITA for getting angry because my boyfriend ate my food?

A Redditor shares her frustration after a dinner disaster involving her boyfriend and her homemade egg rolls. As a stay-at-home mom who takes pride in preparing meals for her family, she dedicates herself to serving everyone before sitting down to enjoy her own food.

However, after waiting for her stomach medication to kick in, she discovers that her boyfriend has devoured all her favorite egg rolls, leaving her upset and hungry. Despite expressing her feelings, she receives no apology, leading her to boycott her household duties. To explore the complexities of this kitchen conflict, read the original story below.

‘ AITA for getting angry because my boyfriend ate my food?’

I am a SAHM. I do all the cooking, cleaning, and anything kid related. We are a family of 5. I make sure dinner is served before my boyfriend comes home at 5pm. Because I know he is always starving from working hard and providing for our family. So when it comes to dinner I am always the last to eat.

After serving everyone and making sure everyone has their juice and whatever else they may need. As a result, I’m usually the last to sit and enjoy my meal. Well this day was no different. I made Chinese food: fried rice, orange chicken, walnut prawns and my all time favorite egg rolls. I served everyone. I took meds to settle my stomach and sat down to wait for it work.

I made my boyfriends plate stacked with rice and pleanty of egg rolls. When he got his plate he immediately asked if there was enough for seconds. I explained to him that I hadn’t eaten yet and that there may be some left over after I serve myself up a plate.

There wasn’t much left, there was a spoon full of rice left and extra egg rolls (I made extra because they are my fav) I sat down on the couch an conversed with my boyfriend about his day. I watched as he polished off his food. He got up to take his plate to the kitchen. Came back chewing.

I didn’t honk anything of it. He tends to eat the scraps off of our children’s plate so I thought nothing of it. He got up a few more time still munching and came back with a beverage. Again, I have not eaten because I’m waiting for my meds to kick in. 20min has passed, and my stomach is ready for the food I just spent hours making.

I go in the kitchen and all of my egg rolls are gone. I was immediately upset. I told him I hadn’t eaten. Told him not to touch the food until after I ate. When I confronted him he said “eat the ones off the kids plate” like WTF! I cooked and served everyone and this is how I’m treated.

He then offered to make me more and I declined as these are not store brought ready made egg rolls these are from scratch rolled up and then fried egg rolls. So no he couldn’t make me anymore.

To make a long story short. I didn’t eat I was pissed I went to bed hungry. No apology nothing. Am I the a**hole for still being angry 2days later? I’ve also boycotted cooking & anything related to my SAHM duties.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

whatsmypassword73 −  NTA, he knew exactly what he was doing and he prioritized his greed over your need. Not okay under any circumstances, that was disgusting.
He showed you who he values, it’s not you.

grindinghault −  NTA. I agree with previous comments suggesting you A) take your meds while preparing dinner so you can eat with all of them. B) set aside a plate for yourself in the oven if you forget to take your meds while preparing the meal C) have a conversation with him about helping out and being more respectful of you eating.

Be sure you show appreciation for him providing for the family but that gives him no right to n**lect your needs. I do think if you’re still angry two days later, you need to figure out what the true issue is. I doubt it’s just this event. Has he done this before or done other things that leave you feeling disrespected and neglected?

Less_Extreme_3933 −  I am an a**hole for being passive aggressive.. For context:
— My meds are taken as needed when symptoms present themselves. (Out of my control)
— I could’ve put away a plate for myself, but If I CLEARLY gave instructions (as an adult) he should’ve listened and followed directions. I should not have to hide food just so I can eat in my own house.
— no children were harmed/deprived of food. They ate out instead.
— I did not set myself up. He saw there was little to no food left. So he should’ve left it alone
— I cooked more than enough food.

Smallios −  You SAH without being married? Risky business sister. And plate your food at the same time as everyone else’s so you are sure you have enough. . You deserve to eat with your family, take your meds while you’re cooking. It’s weird and unnecessary that you’re not eating until 20 minutes after everyone else. NTA but the whole dynamic is weird on both of your ends.

Sidneyreb −  NTA for being mad at his behavior. However, you punished yourself. Somehow thinking that depriving yourself because he ate your dinner just caused you pain. BF doesn’t care that you went to bed hungry. Stop thinking of your contributions to your home as “duties”. You have a **job** and your coworker is slacking off.

ChameleonMami −  NTA but being unmarried with no income and minor children leaves you extremely vulnerable when this relationship inevitably ends. Get a part time job.

Curious_Puffin −  NTA, but a good consequence is that you all eat together, meaning that if you have spent hours cooking the food then your family can wait for twenty minutes before eating. Cite broken trust as the reason when he grumbles about having to wait. It’s incredibly also disrespectful that anyone starts eating before the chef has sat down.

JackedLilJill −  NTA. You cook food FROM SCRATCH and he tells you to *EAT LEFTOVERS OFF THE KIDS PLATES*?!? Girl, I’m telling you, he wouldn’t be living in my house rn if I was you. Smfh

p00kel −  NTA, your boyfriend is. He owes you an apology & he should also probably cook meals occasionally. I get that you’re a SAHM and he works, so it’s more your job than his, but parenting kids is a 24/7 job already. It wouldn’t kill him to cook one day a week.

throwaway1975764 −  NTA. And also… stop being a SAHM as a *girlfriend*. When you two break-up, you will be e**itled to nothing. None of his earnings, no support, no accrued Social Security, etc.

If he is horrifically injured or killed, you are not e**itled to any spousal support, or any shared property, or make any decisions. Etc. There is no safety net for you, you are just loosing years off your career trajectory with no net.

Do you think the user was justified in her anger over the food situation, or should she have been more forgiving? How would you handle a similar scenario where your efforts go unappreciated? Share your thoughts in the comments below!