AITA for forcing my daughter to share a hotel room?

Vacation planning can be both exciting and stressful, especially when it comes to making arrangements that satisfy everyone’s needs. Our OP, a 40-year-old parent, recently organized a summer trip to New Zealand with her husband and two daughters, aged 14 and 16. With limited opportunities for family vacations in the past, everyone was excited about the getaway.

The plan was simple: one hotel room for the parents and another room with connecting doors for the daughters. While OP saw no issue—given that the girls would only use the room for changing and sleeping—her daughters demanded their own space and privacy. They argued that sharing a room was unfair, and one daughter even proposed upgrading to a triple suite or booking an additional room at extra cost.

OP, however, firmly declined to spend extra money for additional privacy, believing that the current arrangement was practical and sufficient for the trip. Now, with her daughters upset and even her husband’s mother suggesting they should reconsider, OP wonders if she’s in the wrong.

‘AITA for forcing my daughter to share a hotel room?’

Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist known for her insights into family dynamics, explains, “In family vacations, it’s important to balance emotional needs with practical considerations. Teenagers might demand more privacy as a reflection of their growing independence, but if the overall schedule is structured such that they spend most of the time together outside the hotel, then sharing a room can be a reasonable compromise.” (kidshealth.org)

Family therapist Dr. Susan Johnson adds, “Parents are often tasked with making decisions that benefit the family as a whole, even if individual members might prefer something different. While it’s important to validate your children’s feelings, it’s equally important to consider budget constraints and the practical usage of space during a vacation. If the room is only used for sleeping and changing, the cost of an extra room might not be justified.”

She further emphasizes that this is an opportunity for teenagers to learn about compromise and understanding that sometimes practicality outweighs personal desire. Both experts agree that while the daughters’ need for privacy is understandable at their age, the OP’s decision to stick with the original plan is a reasonable one. It reflects a balanced approach to financial planning and practical usage, even though it may require additional communication and negotiation within the family.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

Many redditors empathize with the OP’s perspective, stating that vacations are expensive and practical decisions about accommodations shouldn’t be taken lightly. “If you’ve budgeted for one room for the girls and it meets their needs, you’re not the asshole for sticking to that plan,” one commenter noted.

Ultimately, the OP’s decision to stick with the original hotel arrangement—one room for the parents and one for the daughters with connecting doors—appears to be a practical choice given the circumstances.

While it’s understandable that teenagers crave privacy, the reality of the vacation schedule and financial considerations make the current setup reasonable. Do you think it’s fair for parents to prioritize practicality over teenage demands for privacy, or should family vacations always aim to cater to every individual’s ideal scenario? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below—what would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation?