AITA for for ruining my own gender reveal party?

A Reddit user shares her frustration over an unwanted gender reveal party planned by her father’s girlfriend, despite her clear stance against having one. When she arrived and realized what was happening, she announced her baby’s gender on the spot and left, causing upset among the partygoers.

Her father and his girlfriend felt she was ungrateful, saying she could have stayed out of respect for the effort put into the party. Read the full story below to see how it unfolded.

‘ AITA for for ruining my own gender reveal party?’

I’m pregnant with a baby boy due in November. My fiancé and I didn’t care much about the s** of our child, so we didn’t make too much noise about it once we found out. The only people we’d informed were our parents, their partners and our siblings.

Prior to this, my father’s girlfriend of 3 years had been asking me about my plans for a gender reveal party. I’ve always been clear about not wanting one. When I announced my son’s gender to them, she expressed disappointment that I hadn’t changed my mind about a party.

I don’t like gender reveals. Never have, never will. I prefer baby showers, which I think feel more about the actual child. I never tried to hide that opinion, either. Days later, my father’s girlfriend invited me over for tea at their apartment (my dad was out of town).

When I got there, about a dozen people popped out of hiding to surprise me. There were pink and blue decorations everywhere, which made what was going on pretty clear. As I stood there in shock, my father’s girlfriend excitedly told me they were throwing me a surprise gender reveal party.

Since I’d already told her, she had taken it upon herself to order a cake with colorful frosting, decorate the apartment and invite a bunch of people over. The guests included her mother (whom I don’t get along with), some of her friends, my MIL (not my mom) and four of my friends.

As I later found out, my MIL and friends had been told I’d changed my mind about gender reveals. I had not. Still in the doorway, I looked over at everyone and said, “It’s a boy. You guys can go home now.” I left without looking back.

Hours later, my father called me furious that I’d ruined the party. He said his girlfriend had put a lot of effort, money and love into planning it, and I should have shown respect and gratitude for it. Apparently, she hadn’t stopped crying since I left.

It’s been almost a week, and they’re both still upset. Even after I explained I never wanted that party in the first place, they’re insisting I could have sucked it up for an hour, or at least cut the cake.. AITA?

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Sorsha4564 −  NTA. This smacks of her trying to “prove” that she cares about you more than your mom, especially seeing as how either your mom wasn’t invited or she turned down the invitation to respect your wishes. She doesn’t seem to get that the way to prove she cares about you *at all* is to actually listen to what you want and don’t want.

Ok_Conversation9750 −  NTA. Dads gf sounds like someone who enjoys bulldozing boundaries. Wait until she expects to be in the delivery room with you!

Dittoheadforever −  You’re NTA. You made yourself very clear in how you felt about gender reveal parties. You dad’s girlfriend completely and deliberately disregarded that and disrespected you.

He said his girlfriend had put a lot of effort, money and love into planning it, and I should have shown respect and gratitude for it. So sorry the party she planned for herself was ruined. Maybe she should have gone a step further and not even invited you, since this party was all about what she wanted.

West-Dimension8407 −  “Dear Dad, that’s on her. I didn’t want that party. I told everyone I don’t want GR party. She invited HER mother but not mine. Tell her to get her s**t together and start respecting my boundaries.”

Fantastic-Sea-3462 −  NTA. It wasn’t your gender reveal party, it was her boyfriend’s-daughter’s-baby’s gender reveal party. Nothing about that party was for or about you, so why should you feel gratitude for it?

fatboy85wils −  I wish all gender reveal parties were like that. That’s elite

gracelesswonder −  NTA. That was incredibly rude. She straight up lied, and your dad is salty? He should be mad at her for disrespecting your wishes. She wanted that party for herself, not you.

Lexpressionista74 −  And they lied to your family/friends saying you changed your mind. That reeks of p**cho and a permanent boundary crosser to me. Point out that lying about you is unacceptable and either he changes his attitude or you’ll have to go LC until he breaks up with miss psycherpath

crumpledspoon −  Amazing. You handled that beautifully. NTA. You didn’t ruin your gender reveal party. When people give gifts, parties included, the recipient is under no obligation to be grateful and gracious if it is something they have explicitly said they don’t want.

Your father’s GF had a baby genitalia themed party, with your baby’s genitalia as the centerpiece. Nobody you cared about had been invited, it was all about her. And you told them about your baby’s genitalia, which was the whole point of that party, no? 🤷‍♀️

clarabell1980 −  I think it’s your father who owes you an apology too, he should have respected your wishes and not sided with his wife. Will s**k to be them if they don’t start to respect you going forward since your the one who will have the baby!

Do you think the Redditor should have stayed to acknowledge the party or was she justified in leaving? How would you handle an unwanted celebration thrown in your honor? Share your thoughts below!