AITA for “flaunting my money” infront if my sister?

A woman (likely in her 30s) went grocery shopping with her mom, sister, and nephew. She chose to shop at Whole Foods and Lowes Foods instead of Walmart, sparking resentment from her sister, who perceived this as “flaunting wealth.” Things escalated when she bought $425 worth of groceries and paid in cash her husband had given her, prompting her sister to accuse her of being elitist and making her feel inadequate. Now, she wonders if she was wrong to shop how she normally does or if her sister overreacted.

‘ AITA for “flaunting my money” infront if my sister?’

So earlier today I was out with my mom and my sister and one of my nephews helping her some Christmas shopping done. My sister asked did I want to go ahead and go grocery shopping while we were out and I agreed. (Keep in mind my sister DID NOT have to buy anything i and maybe my mom where the only ones spending money at the grocery store) I was driving so I went to Whole foods first, and said what I couldn’t find there I would go to Lowes foods afterwards.

When we pulled up at whole foods, sis asked why we did not just go to Walmart I just shrugged and said “honestly, I haven’t been in a Walmart in years I just don’t really like shopping there” and I kind of just laughed she asked why and I said “idk I don’t like going in there for one, and also I feel like other places have better quality” this made my sister a little mad I could tell but we moved on and walked in whole foods.

While we were walking around and I was picking up all of my ingredients for christmas dinner my nephew found some cupcakes he wanted I can’t remember exactly but I think it was around $13 for 4 or them he asked his mom could he get them and she said “why don’t you go ask your rich ass auntie who is too boujee for Walmart” I rolled my eyes and told my nephew I’d buy the cupcakes for him. She got angry and said I was making her look like a bad mom for not being able to afford cupcakes.

When it was time to check out my total came to around $425 (including a few non food items I picked up which probaly were $100 or more worth of that total) my sister was clearly upset whispering to my mom.

Then when it was time to pay I paid with some cash my husband had gave me this morning and she FLIPPED she went off right there in the store about how I was “flaunting my money” and making fun of her and how I thought I was “elitist” and “above ‘regular black people’ ” and just a whole slew of the same thing. I hurried and finished my transaction and left but my sis left the store in an taxi and left my nephew with me and my mom.

I’ve since gotten plenty of text from her calling me an a**hole. I asked my nephew did I do anything to offend him and he just said no all he wanted was some cupcakes (haha 13 y/os right?) But I’m really wondering if I was wrong.
because I wanna be as honest as possible:

My sister and her husband both work. I am a SAHM and my hubby is the bread winner we are very blessed and fortunate to be in the position we are in. She also made some comments about me being a gold digger because that money ‘technically’ wasn’t mine it was my husband’s….and ig she’s right.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Ireland1169 −  NTA You are an adult where you shop is your business not your sisters (I shop at whole foods & walmart when I’m in the USA). Your family money is again yours & your husbands (if you & your husband worked outside the home & you had to outsource your family work in the home you both would be spending a lot of money especially if child care is involved), Again this has nothing to do with your sister.

I’m European so I don’t get the “I was “elitist” and “above ‘regular black people’ “” by shopping in Whole Foods, the food is good quality at a fair price but its not luxurious fare for the super rich for example Fortnum & Mason in London where you could pay $20 for a pack of plain biscuits.

You sisters inadequacies are not your problem, they are hers. Also you didn’t make her look like a bad mom she did that all by herself when she jumped into a taxi (she had the money for that) & left her minor son behind in the shop. Enjoy your family, Happy Christmas..

orchidsparkles −  NTA.Helping your nephew get cupcakes and paying with cash isn’t ‘flaunting your money,’ it’s just being generous—your sister’s insecurity is not your fault.

sunflower_noir −  NTA. Your sister is projecting her insecurities onto you, and that is not your problem. She’s jealous that you don’t have to work outside the home (because let’s be real, SAHM is still work). You and your husband are a single unit, so it’s mutual money, not just his.

She’s acting like it’s not “yours” just because you don’t have the job that earns it… but you’re clearly doing your part at home. Her disrespecting you is how she’s making herself feel better about her jealousy. None of this is your problem. It doesn’t sound like you’re “flaunting” anything; you’re just living your life the way you have been for years, which has nothing to do with her.

EconomyProof9537 −  Nta but you need to tell sis green is not her color. I’m black and I also shop at Whole Foods. It ain’t tricking if you got it. But watch your back because she will stab you in it.

Quiltrebel −  I don’t shop at Walmart either. It’s overwhelming and I hate the checkout processes they have. It’s not your fault she had a public meltdown. NTA.

LowBalance4404 −  NTA. Your sister is just jealous and I’d ignore it. I also didn’t notice any “no black people allowed” the last time I was in Whole Foods.

kharmatika −  NTA: Thius doesn’t feel like it’s about you, it’s about her. She’s feeling insecure so she’s lashing out. But…did she seriously just bad mouth you to your family, abandon her kid with you and then rage text you? Equality should start with everyone who is in a place of privilege lifting people who aren’t UP. Not people not in a place of privilege dragging people down.

And also, do not EVER let someone get away with calling you a Gold Digger. That’s a n**ty, toxic, cruel term that no civilized person should be using to discuss their family when their family has found a decent person with whom they share a happy life. Don’t ever let that s**t get internalized.

If you married your husband because you love him and your values align, that’s not gold digging, and it’s sickening that your sister would accuse you of being a fraud and a leech because she can’t contend with your happiness. She owes you an apology for using that term.

Full_Prune7491 −  You had me until you said your sister left in a taxi and abandoned her son. If she was broke she definitely isn’t wasting the money on a taxi.

The1Eileen −  My mantra is “no walmart, they treat their employees badly, and they have bad business practices, and I won’t give them money to do that” but also “I am very lucky that I can afford to not shop at Walmart and I won’t judge anyone who does[1] because I don’t know your money situation or you may live where the Walmart drove out all other stores and you are stuck.

You did nothing wrong, not even with the “quality” comment because Walmart is a super-store where everything is very plastic and cheapest possible and Whole Foods [2] is known for doing local and organic and also being expensive (possibly needlessly). NGL, I loved to shop there before they were bought out by Amazon [2]

[Footnote 1: My friend who makes double what I do and shops at Walmart cuz it saves him $0.25 on socks but then complains about no manufacturing in America – those two things are linked, you n**wit]
[Footnote 2: I also avoid Amazon at all costs because of how they treat their employees and their predatory business practices.]

geekygangster −  NTA. Your finances and family situation are not her business. I too, have not been to a Walmart in a few years. Their stores just aren’t very clean and someone always has an attitude there. If you can go someplace cleaner and quieter, why not? She sounds jealous and petty. 100% she’ll come to you when she has financial problems, tho. They always do.