AITA for exposing my ex to his mother about our kids?

A Redditor shared her experience exposing her ex-husband’s lies to his mother after their divorce. When her ex chose to cut off contact with their children, she respected his wishes. However, he told his mother a completely different story, claiming he missed his kids and that his ex-wife was keeping them from him.

When the mother confronted her, the Redditor called her ex on speakerphone, revealing his true feelings. His mother, devastated by his behavior, kicked him out and cut him off financially. Now, the ex blames her for “ruining his life.” Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for exposing my ex to his mother about our kids?’

I (45f) am currently divorced from my ex Thomas (47m) of 30years. We ended up seeing a lawyer to help with dividing stuff. Everything was pretty much wrapped up till he said he no longer wanted any part of our kids’ lives (5m) and (12f). I didn’t argue with him about it since I already know what it’s like having a parent who doesn’t want you around or wants to be in your life.

I asked what he wanted me to tell the kids and he just said “whatever you think is best I don’t care. I don’t want to parent anymore.” Everything was in agreement and signed with no fuss. A few weeks later I get a call from my ex Mil asking if we could meet each other. When I came over she broke down crying and begging to let my ex see his kids again.

I was confused about what she meant because not once did he contact me after meeting the lawyer. She went on about how my ex said “he really missed them and that I was just a petty b*tch for taking full custody.” Also that he was crying for days about it. I told her my version of events and she called it bs saying her son wouldn’t lie like that especially not about his kids.

Then I decided to call him in front of her. He didn’t know she and I were meeting that day. I said “hey (5m) has a soccer game in a few days (which he did) and I was wondering if you wanted to go? I know he’d really love it and be happy to see you.” He instantly said “No. I already said I’m not doing this anymore.”

I raised my voice a bit saying “well what about holidays and birthdays because we never discussed any of it and your family might want to see them.” He just said ” my family already thinks the kids aren’t mine anyways so it doesn’t matter.”

I asked”well how do you think this is going to effect Denise (his mom)? She is over the moon about them.” He just said ” She loves me more than the kids so I doubt this will be an issue for her.” After a bit more talking we finally hung up. Ex Mil was straight faced and nodded at everything that just happened saying “mmm okay.” She asked me to leave and said we would be in touch.

Later that day I got a call from my ex saying how it’s my fault he was kicked out of his mom’s house and possibly will be taken off her will. Also that none of his family members will talk to him because of what ex Mil heard. He threw a lot of insults at me before I hung up and now him and his mates keep calling and texting me. My friend is saying I shouldn’t have said anything in the first place and I ruined his life.

Edition: hello thank you for your support and the gold reward. Yes, I plan to let Denise see the kids because I know she just wants to give them the world along with the rest of his family. (I was honestly confused with what op meant at first and my daughter told me overpowered like in anime but my sister clarified.)

2nd edition: hello again, I want to address something because this keeps coming up and I can’t keep up with everyone. Due to actions he and I took when we were younger my Christian parents thought it would be best he and I be married at the time.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

BootsNblueEyes −  NTA, He had the right to sign off his rights. He did not have the right to paint you in a bad light and make you look to be at fault and evil/m**ipulative.. That’s defamation of character. You had the right to set the record straight. His mom had the right to go no contact with her son – a grown man who didn’t want contact with his actual young kids. Sounds like he’s getting a taste of his own medicine aka karma.

GothPenguin −  NTA-Your ex MIL deserved to know what lies her son has been spreading and how little he wants to do with being a parent. Him being mad he was caught is his own fault not yours.

TurtleTheMoon −  NTA. He made a decision for which he knew his family would judge him negatively, so he lied and made you the s**pegoat. You didn’t go seeking out his family to tell them what he’d done, you were blindsided by the whole thing. No way were you obligated to carry that water for him. Not at all. I can’t understand how anyone would ever take his side in this.

He abandoned his children, blamed you, and now is angry that his malfeasance and subsequent lies have been found out. If I were you, I’d reach out to ex-MIL and see if she would be interested in seeing the kids and maybe having a relationship with her (unless there are toxic things about her you haven’t included). It seems like she’d love to see them, and I’ll bet they miss their grandma as well.

whatev6187 −  NTA – All you did was offer him an opportunity to see his children. This was done because he cried to mommy about how the mean ex was depriving him of that opportunity. He did the rest.

FrnchsLwyr −  NTA. I mean, come on now, **you know you’re not the AH**. This guy abandoned his kids, cried crocodile tears to his mother and tore you down and made you seem like the bad guy so prop himself up and then go caught. Or, as the kids today like to say, he fucked around and found out. I have no sympathy for him and his response to being caught out is to go after you?

GUess what? ***You’re divorced and you don’t have to take his, or his mates, s**t***. Block and move on. If it persists, call the police. and for what it’s worth, if Grandma Denise loves her grandchildren, you should discuss with her ways she can stay in their lives. I’m sure your kids will prefer that.

knerrbabe −  NTA. Good on you for having his mother hear it directly from him. And good on her for kicking him out of his house. He’s a deadbeat father and anyone who sticks up for him is a deadbeat as well.

UnpopularConclusion −  NTA – F* your ex, his mates, and your friend!

FreakingFae −  His mom really uno reversed him omg I love it. NTA

No-Jellyfish-1208 −  NTA. It’s all his own fault. If he hadn’t lied and tried to make you the bad guy, his mother wouldn’t have been upset about his behavior.

Johoski −  NTA. Your MIL was looking for answers, you gave them. He is experiencing the consequences of telling big lies to people who care about the truth. What an a**hole he is. Congratulations on your divorce. Enjoy life’s gifts, they are many.

Did the Redditor go too far by exposing her ex’s lies to his family, or was she justified in revealing the truth to protect her children and maintain transparency? What would you have done in this situation? Share your thoughts in the comments below!