AITA for exposing my dad’s abuse at dinner?
A Reddit user, a 19-year-old male, called out his father’s years of abuse at the dinner table, exposing painful truths in front of his mother and younger brother. In response, his mom slapped him and called him a liar, and now the user faces the possibility of being kicked out with nowhere to go.
He questions if he made a mistake by confronting his father and wonders if he should backtrack, despite the truth of his claims. Read on for the emotional struggle behind this tough decision.
‘ AITA for exposing my dad’s abuse at dinner?’
So. I’m 19 year old male and I still live at home. Last night I called my dad out during dinner. Basically in front my mom, younger brother and him. It just came out. It’s been broiling for f**king years.
He was sitting there acting like nothing’s ever happened, laughing about something, and I just couldn’t take it anymore. I said what he did to me, how he’s been abusing me since I was like 7. Like you know, actual fucked up stuff I don’t want to divulge in a post
And my mom lost it. She said I was lying and trying to ruin things. Called me a l**r. Slapped me. I’m not shocked. They both said they want me out by morning. I don’t have anywhere to go. We live in the booniies. Why didn’t I f**king wait until I was moved out ?!?!??
I hate myself I’m so stupid. Should I just say I was lying? I know I’m not in the wrong for what he did but I feel like I screwed up and now they’re going to want me out, or he’s going to get revenge on me somehow.
Here’s how people reacted to the post:
_Jealous_Entrance_ − You’re not in the wrong. Sounds like you’ve been holding that s**t in forever. It’s super tough, but exposing it like that is brave as hell. Don’t let your parents make you feel bad for speaking up. You deserve better, and this could be the start of you getting free from that.
Find a safe place, even if it’s just a friend’s couch for now. Don’t go back on your truth, it’s yours to own. You’re stronger than you think. Reach out to support groups or hotlines, they can help. Stay strong, you got this.
ColdDarkBlues − You’re not the a**hole for speaking out—it took courage, and this isn’t your fault. Your safety is the priority now. If you feel unsafe, try reaching out to a trusted person or a hotline to make a plan. Don’t say you were lying;
what happened is real, and you deserve to be heard. Focus on staying safe and finding support—you’re not to blame for any of this.
iknowsomethings2 − Take you car, your important documents and go to the police when you leave to report the abuse from your Dad and the slap from your mum. They may refer you to a doctor to see if there’s evidence of long term abuse (broken bones etc).
And then they can help with advocates who can recommend next steps and housing.. Best of luck OP. It takes a strong person to suffer abuse and come out on the other side and an even stronger one to call it out.. You got this.
AccordingRespect5310 − You’re nta, do not let your father win, continue to stand your ground and do not hide your truth whatsoever
Jinxed_and_hexed − You are not in the wrong at all. Go to the police, report him. I dunno what country you live in but in a lot of countries, you can get housing support and aid. If you’re a student, you should be able to get support from your school too.
I was a victim once too but you can get out and rebuild yourself. It may take a bit longer than it does for other people. I’ve just started university as a mature parent.
NefariousnessFresh24 − First of all: you did right. They are the assholes, not you. Second: as many people already said, go to the police. At the very least they can help you find some resources and proper help. But more important, they can make sure that the same s**t won’t happen to your younger siblings
GiveItBackMalfoy- − NTA you reached your breaking point. Grab the things you value most and get to a police station. I saw elsewhere you said you’re going to ruin your siblings life, did you ever think you’d be protecting them?
You’re still young to be having to go out into the world like this but you’ll be ok. Doesn’t mean this won’t be difficult, it will be but one step at a time.
ThaJoiner − You’re 19 a whole life out there waiting to enjoy. Go leave the boonies, travel around …. You can make it
Objective-Career-212 − You just did the right thing you’ve suffered for years and I’m sorry you had to face all that.
wlfwrtr − NTA Tell them that they can kick you out but to find another place to.live you’ll have to tell everyone why you were kicked out which would include what you said at supper table. Is that what they really want? Some people won’t believe it but some will recognize the truth behind it. It’s their choice how many people they want to know.
Exposing abuse, especially within a family, can be an incredibly brave act, but it often comes with significant personal risks. Did the user make a mistake by confronting his father in such a public way, or was he justified in calling out years of mistreatment?
How would you approach a similar situation—would you confront the abuse head-on, or wait for a safer moment? Share your thoughts below!