AITA for ending unsupervised visits after in-laws broke our safety boundary?

A couple has one primary safety rule for their children around family: the kids can’t be with the husband’s sister’s family unsupervised due to severe safety concerns. Recently, the husband’s parents disregarded this boundary by allowing the sister’s family to visit while their toddler was there.

When confronted, they downplayed the issue, leading the couple to set stricter limits on future unsupervised visits. Now, the family is treating them poorly for enforcing this rule. read the original story below…

‘ AITA for ending unsupervised visits after in-laws broke our safety boundary?’

We have ONE major boundary with my in-laws: our kids cannot be around SIL’s family unless we’re present. This isn’t arbitrary – multiple mental health professionals have supported this boundary due to serious safety concerns in SIL’s household, including:

* Dangerous childcare practices (leaving babies unattended in baths, locking toddlers alone in rooms for hours)
* Medicating children into “zombies” to avoid parenting

* Their stepson being expelled for violent threats, with professionals warning he’s a danger to younger children
* BIL being recommended (but never going to) for inpatient treatment as a threat to himself/others

For years, I’ve been the peacekeeper – driving 4 hours to make time as one big family possible, looking for safe ways for the young cousins to maintain relationships. Yesterday, my husband dropped our toddler at his parents’.

After he left, they texted that SIL’s family was coming over – clearly waiting until we couldn’t intervene from hours away. When confronted, everyone claims they “forgot” this boundary (despite SIL’s previous tantrums about it).

In-laws were more upset about having to ask SIL to leave than about breaking our trust. When I expressed disappointment to SIL, BIL said I wasn’t “allowed” to speak to his wife and they’ll never talk to us again.

Now the entire family is treating us like we’re horrible people for being upset about this boundary violation and for implementing consequences – namely, no more unsupervised visits. They seem to think we should pretend nothing happened.

We’re not cutting off his parents, but we need to be present for all visits going forward. They think we’re being unreasonable helicopter parents. AITA for ending their unsupervised visits?

These are the responses from Reddit users:

LTK622 −  Don’t discuss. Don’t argue. Don’t confront. Don’t care if they think you’re horrible. The ONLY thing you need to do is stop having unsupervised visits. Stay calm and be happy. “We’re leaving now, but have a great time.” “We won’t dropoff the kids but have a great time.” “We won’t attend your event but have a great time.”

butterfly-garden −  “We’re not cutting off his parents” Why? Why aren’t you? They put your kids in harm’s way. Go NC with all of them.

pugmom83 −  NTAH. You’re trying to protect your kids from SIL and her family. You are doing the right thing.

JTBlakeinNYC −  NTAH. They violated your trust and endangered your child.

Queen_Peaarls −  By insisting on being present for all visits, you’re not being unreasonable; you’re being a responsible parent. It’s unfortunate that your in-laws are framing this as helicopter parenting instead of recognizing your legitimate need for safety.

Standing firm on this boundary is important, and hopefully, with time, they’ll come to understand your perspective.

Flat_Contribution707 −  NTA. Its either supervised or nothing at all.

daarlingTwinkles −  So, to answer your question: No, you’re not the AITA in this situation. You’re prioritizing your children’s safety, and that’s your right as a parent.

grayblue_grrl −  NTA but… “We’re not cutting off his parents,**”** Why? They don’t care about you, your children’s safety, or your husband’s communication with them. They are m**ipulative and can’t be trusted.

And they have no problem expressing their dislike of you, your rules or your parenting.. Why put yourselves through that? WTF is this relationship giving you that is worth this BS?

Ratchet_gurl24 −  How dare you hold them accountable for their actions. They knew why you implemented those boundaries, yet they chose to ignore them, and now they’re appalled that you’re enforcing the consequences.

Are they being overprotective, or is enforcing this boundary the best choice? Share your thoughts below!