AITA for dropping my friends for revealing my husband’s infidelity?
When loyalty clashes with financial security, who bears the blame? A woman faces backlash for prioritizing wealth over accountability—and silencing the friend who dared to speak up.
AITA for dropping my friends for revealing my husband’s infidelity?
Expert Opinions
Financial Dependency and Marital Bargains
Dr. Emily King, sociologist and author of The Price of Silence: “Financial security often traps individuals in toxic dynamics. OP’s choice reflects a calculated trade-off common in high-net-worth marriages, where economic stability outweighs emotional well-being.”
The Ethics of Confrontation
Therapist Dr. Sarah Jensen: “Friends like Marie operate from a place of care, not malice. Publicly exposing infidelity breaches privacy, but OP’s anger is misdirected—her husband’s actions, not Marie’s, caused the pain.”
Impact on Children
A 2022 Journal of Child Psychology study found “children in households with tolerated infidelity often normalize dysfunctional relationships, perpetuating cycles of emotional neglect.”
See what others had to share with OP:
Community Opinions
Summary: Redditors overwhelmingly label OP the asshole, citing hypocrisy and misplaced blame. Key themes:
- “YTA for valuing money over self-respect and punishing Marie for caring.”
- “You’re teaching your daughter to accept disrespect.”
- “Marie didn’t know your arrangement. Don’t shoot the messenger.”
This story underscores the corrosive power of financial dependency and societal complicity in normalizing infidelity. While OP’s pragmatism is understandable, vilifying Marie—a friend acting in good faith—reveals deeper self-delusion. Verdict: YTA. True courage lies in confronting the cheater, not the confidante.
I think that even if Marie’s actions came from love for her friend, she had no right to talk about than in front of other people. If she was so concerned, she should have talked to her in private. She should have stopped when she was asked to.
As a guy let me say this. No man will date, or marry a woman AND all her friends. A relationship is between two people. I have been don’t ask, don’t tell relationships before. Contrary to what many women in this post have said, this man may well never leave the marriage for a “younger” woman. While I don’t think it’s right for her to cut a friend out of her life for trying to inform her, that friend should have shut up as soon as she was told “we have an agreement”. When I was really young and wild I was bartending and worked a shift with three different girls I was sleeping with. My girlfriend, was well aware, and that’s just how I was at the time. She could leave me for it, or not. However, she KNEW that ultimately I’d have told both the other girls to go sit and spin if they openly showed any affection towards me in public, at work, or anywhere other than a time and place of MY choosing when my girlfriend was not around. If my girlfriend needed anything at all, I would go to the ends of the earth to help her. So to just tell it straight, don’t nose into a couple’s sexlife, or agreements in a relationship. This especially goes for women because there’s nothing more annoying to a man of means than having to debate your actions not only with your significant other, but all her friends as well. I have broken off engagements and plainly stated the reason why was that I was tired of hearing everything that she had to say, followed up by everything her friends had told her to say. Women, be your own woman. More than once in my life I have witnessed one female tell another female that her husband was cheating on her, only to be rebuffed with “yea, that’s why I’m married and you aren’t”. Men compartmentalize, many of us have a woman we love, and cherish, and will not leave even if we have meaningless sex with another woman.