AITA For drinking wine at a party?

A Reddit user, tired of being roped into babysitting duties at family gatherings, attended a cousin’s birthday party only to find out they were invited specifically for that purpose.

When they refused and instead joined the adult festivities with a glass of wine, tensions erupted, leading to an argument and backlash from family members. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA For drinking wine at a party?’

I (24M) have a pretty rocky relationship with my cousin, Sara (35F) and her sister, Mary (29F). Every time I see them at a family gathering I get stuck watching their four kids. Recently I was invited to Mary’s birthday.

I wasn’t going to go but my girlfriend convinced me to go because I haven’t seen my extended family since the last family barbecue in 2022. A soon as we got to the party, Mary immediately told me the kids missed me so much and I should go play with them.

I politely refused and made my way out to the backyard where everybody was. Mary followed behind me and she kept trying to convince me to go up to the kids room. I refused every time and she eventually dropped it and returned to her sister.

I sat down and my aunt, Beth made a snarky comment about how I was so mean to the kids. I brushed it off and grabbed a glass of wine and some food at the bar, as I sat down to eat I took a big gulp of wine.

Mary spotted me and freaked out, yelling at me for being irresponsible, immature and petty then she told me to get out immediately. Sara and my Beth glared at me and whispered to each other while I grabbed my stuff and left.

At home I was bombarded with texts from my aunt and cousins, calling me vindictive, cruel and some other racial slurs I dont wish to repeat here, I ended up blocking them.

later found out I was only invited to the party to be the babysitter while everyone else enjoyed the party and me drinking wine ruined her plan. Most of my extended family is saying I should have just sucked it up and watched the kids so Mary could enjoy her party. So, AITA?

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Apart-Ad-6518 −  NTA. Every time I see them at a family gathering I get stuck watching their four kids. That isn’t ok. It’s also dishonest for them to ostensibly invite you to social gatherings when all they want to do is use you.

I took a big gulp of wine. Mary spotted me and freaked out, yelling at me for being *irresponsible, immature and petty* then she told me to get out immediately. That’s projection. She needs to grow up & get a baby sitter.

Most of my extended family is saying I should have just sucked it up *and watched the kids* so Mary could enjoy her party. So why couldn’t one of them have done that? Reiterating you’re totally NTA here. They have no right to treat you in such an atrocious manner.. Eta missed word

StAlvis −  INFO. I was bombarded with texts from my aunt and cousins, calling me vindictive, cruel and some other racial slurs I dont wish to repeat here. Who’s what race here?

forgetregret1day −  So you were just invited to be the unpaid help at this party? Who does that? There are people who do that kind of thing for a living, but apparently your cousin felt it was best to kill 2 birds with one stone:

humiliate you by relegating you to kid minder away from the adult party and expecting that service for free “because family “? That’s pretty twisted thinking and I’d have done the same thing you did. I would in no way allow her plan to succeed and I’d suggest not putting yourself in the position for it to happen again.

She obviously sees you as someone less than who is only invited to serve a purpose. You deserve better and she should be ashamed of herself. I’m sure she’s not but she should be. NTA.

CapoExplains −  NTA it’s wild that you even have to ask once the racial slurs come out, but even without that so they just decided you were the babysitter (without consulting you or offering to pay you)

And therefore it’s irresponsible for you to drink wine and shirk the responsibilities they didn’t even tell you they expected of you and had no right to expect? Yeah, no, NTA, I can see why you hadn’t seen them for two years.

NoHorseNoMustache −  Wait your own family was calling you racial slurs because they expected you to babysit and you didn’t? S**ew them, NTA and do not bother associating with them in the future, at least until they apologize numerous times and even then I’d triple thing bothering to deal with them.

Sickmonkey365 −  Jesús, who does this to family? NTA

Deep_Scope −  NTA. Don’t go to these family functions, you are not a glorified babysitter, the fact that you were not told as such was honestly s**tty.

Dismal-Wallaby-9694 −  NTA and it’s also a red flag that your gf ignored your boundaries

Far_Quantity_6133 −  NTA. Your “family” clearly sees you as more of a babysitter than a relative. I wouldn’t bother with them again if I were you.

echo_rosie −  NTA. You were invited as a guest and not a babysitter. It’s unfair that Mary assumed you’d handle childcare for the entire party without asking or even telling you in advance. Enjoying a drink at a party is normal, and you weren’t informed of any specific expectations around watching the kids.

Was it unfair of the Reddit user to refuse to babysit at the party, or was the family out of line for expecting free childcare? How would you navigate such a situation? Share your thoughts below!