AITA for drinking my gf’s chocolate milk and replacing it without telling her?

A guy drank his girlfriend’s small carton of chocolate milk, thinking it looked tempting while she was away. He replaced it with an identical carton from the same store later that day but didn’t mention it to her. When she went to drink it, she noticed the carton was missing the attached straw and asked him about it.

He admitted drinking and replacing it, offering her a straw from a different milk box. Though he apologized, his girlfriend was still annoyed that he didn’t tell her and kept bringing it up. He feels confused because if the roles were reversed, he wouldn’t have minded. Read the original story below…

‘ AITA for drinking my gf’s chocolate milk and replacing it without telling her?’

So, my girlfriend and I stopped at a convenience on the way home one night and bought some snacks. She bought a little carton of chocolate milk with a straw. The next day she was away and I saw the chocolate milk in the fridge. It looked really good so I ended up drinking it, thinking to myself I might stop by the convenience store later and replace it.

I did just that, replaced it with a little box of the same brand later that day, and forgot all about it. I didn’t think to tell her. A day or so later she goes to drink her chocolate milk box and finds that the carton is missing the usual attached straw and asked me about it.

I confessed I drank her milk and replaced it, and since I had bought another box of plain milk that still had the straw she could use that. I didn’t realize the replaced chocolate milk didn’t have a straw. She was bothered by it and kept bringing it up, and was bothered that I hadn’t told her about it at all and we probably talked about it for about an hour.

She wasn’t super upset but she definitely wouldn’t let it go. I said sorry and next time I would tell her ahead of time if something like that came up again. Am I the a**hole?
If she had done the same to me I would have not have cared. I think she was mainly bothered I took it behind her back.

My thought process was that if I just drank it and replaced it why bother? However, I did miss the detail of the straw. So there’s definitely that.

Lets dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Oso_the-Bear −  [EDIT\] this should not be the top comment. I mis-read it** as him being a guest in her home but actually they live together. **In retrospect, IDK why everybody is upvoting.** I think most people also didn’t fully read my comment any more than I fully read the OP. Sorry!

I get that technically you violated your stuff and her home because you didn’t ask permission and then tried to cover your tracks and messed up leaving her strawless. So she’s making it an issue of respect and trust which are important in a relationship, and in a new relationship EVERYTHING feels like a symbol of deep meaningful extrapolations.

But what she overlooks is that “if you eat it, replace it” is sort of an unofficial default rule for any kind of guest in home situation, and anyone else would be thrilled that you actually fully replaced it with the same brand and everything and left an unopened package without even being asked.

So social custom alleviates you of the responsibility to ask permission. This is like asking permission to turn on a light switch or flush the toilet.

Ill_Coffee_6821 −  NTA. If there’s something replaceable in my fridge and my boyfriend consumes it and then replaces it, that’s totally fine. It’s an easily replaceable consumable item. The fact that it was replaced before I went looking for it would be the respectful thing to do.

I think she’s over reacting bc (a) it was purchased with you and she seemed excited to consume it, (b) the straw impeded her ability to do that in real time. I’d honestly be annoyed, but not bc you did anything wrong, just bc I wanted to drink my chocolate milk. Anything more than a discussion where she expresses annoyance and you apologize is overblown here. It’s chocolate milk.

MerJess33 −  NTA, I’ve written about this before as it is a pet peeve of mine, if you went out and replaced it who the f**k cares if there’s a straw missing? Surely she can use a different straw? Surely she can open the carton and pour the milk into a glass? I will never understand this level of pettiness.

Are we so far removed from cold dark nights where humans huddled together for warmth and protection from lions that this is where we are now? That we are so far removed from countries where bombs are exploding over people’s heads, and your girl is bitching about NEW chocolate milk.

Not gone milk, not wrong milk, just that the freaking straw fell off. For one hour? I know at this point I am soapboxing but this just sends me to the moon like nothing else! Jesus f**king Christ, what is this woman actually going to do when you two have to deal with an actual real difficult problem in life?

If I had a lovely chocolate milk that my husband kept drinking, guess what, I’d buy 20 instead of one. It will make me happy to share my chocolate milk with someone who enjoys it. I’m not your Mom, why would someone I let touch my body have to ask me for something from the fridge in the house we both live in?

I guess times truly are improving for humanity if we have time to worry and moan about things like this instead of oh, I don’t know, hundreds of years ago, the cow died in the middle of the cruel winter how are we going to feed our 7th baby? Rant over, like I said, this very particular type of post of oh, she ate my last oreo after I had 33 of them and she’s only has 2 just absolutely infuriates me lol

HighPriestess__55 −  This seems awfully petty to me. Life has real problems. Why obsess about a carton of chocolate milk that was drank and replaced before someone noticed it was gone? I would actually rethink a relationship like this.

SpinachnPotatoes −  Yeah – but I don’t think it’s a you thing. But you may have triggered something by taking without asking and assuming it was okay as you just replaced it.
My husband had his parents and siblings constantly take his stuff without asking. They just treated anything as he bought as theirs.

Sometimes they replaced sometimes they did not. We been together for 20 years – he still can be able to see if about a shot of whiskey has been taken out of the bottle.
So NAH, but you need to chat with your partner after you both have cooled down and get to the bottom of this.

grumpybadger456 −  Not clear from the post whether you live together, but you clearly have access to the fridge when she is not home. I would have expected that replacing it with the exact same brand would have been fine. To me that wouldn’t require a heads up that you had done it – only if you couldn’t get the same brand, or if you couldn’t replace it by the time I might be home to want it.

However she clearly has different boundaries around sharing food – It sounds like you need to make those clear (if the conversation hasn’t already) as most couples I know will happily treat each others food/snacks as fair game, and often not even replace.

3bag −  NTA but either…

1. this isn’t about the chocolate milk.. or
2. Your life is so effing great if this is the only thing you have to quarrel about.

JenovaCelestia −  YTA, dude. All of you are missing the point. It doesn’t matter if OP replaced the milk; he just sent the message to his girlfriend that her property doesn’t truly belong to her and it’s okay to take her stuff as long as he replaces it. As well, she is his ***girlfriend***, not a guest and guest rules shouldn’t be applied to your girlfriend.

I think you need to talk to your girlfriend, OP. This is deeper than “oh, it was just a milk and I replaced it!” You just told your girlfriend through your actions that her wishes aren’t worth considering because her milk “looked really good and [you] ended up drinking it”. Why didn’t you just go and buy your own milk and left hers alone?

tdic89 −  YTA, it takes a second to message her and ask if you could have it. It’s not about the chocolate milk, it’s that you took it without asking, even if you did replace it.
Personally I wouldn’t care, I’d be none the wiser. My wife probably wouldn’t care either, as long as I replaced it.

But I know she would appreciate me asking all the same. But here’s what’s important: _your girlfriend_ cares, and it’s her opinion you should valuing above all.

ExcitementSad3079 −  What’s the issue? She still had the chocolate milk? NTA, your girlfriend is weird.

Was the girlfriend overreacting, or should the guy have told her in advance? How would you handle a situation like this? Share your thoughts in the comments!