AITA for doing nothing at Christmas and which led to my “family” having a crappy one?

ADVERTISEMENT

A 17-year-old, raised as an affair baby, has been mistreated by his family for years. Despite trying to earn their love through acts of service and kindness, he’s been continuously rejected and humiliated. This year, after a series of emotional blows, he withdrew and didn’t contribute to the Christmas preparations, leading to a difficult holiday. Now his dad is accusing him of being spiteful. Read the original story below…

ADVERTISEMENT

‘ AITA for doing nothing at Christmas and which led to my “family” having a crappy one?’

I’m (17M) an affair baby and I always knew about it. My “dad” cheated on his wife and had me with my “mom”. His wife forgave him as long as I was treated differently and I didn’t have to be a part of the family. Which he agreed with.

But in the first year of my life I was almost killed by my mom, removed from her care, bounced around a lot, almost got placed with a forever family but was taken out of foster care because my dad was forced to pay child support for me, as was my mom, and he and his wife decided to take me so he wouldn’t be on the hook for child support.

ADVERTISEMENT

My dad’s wife has enjoyed telling me all about it and showing me newspaper articles from my mom’s arrest at the time. She even showed me a letter from my mom where she wanted to give up her rights so dad’s wife could adopt me. And she told me she would never consider it, she would never claim me and she called me disgusting.

For way too many years I tried to win the love of someone in my family. I have three half siblings and then I have my dad and his wife. I have grandparents and aunts and uncles too and even step grandparents/aunts/uncles. I tried to be the perfect son/brother.

ADVERTISEMENT

I helped out with things around the house, would make food of some kind when everyone was busy so they’d come home to something to eat, I would volunteer to help whenever and I’d try extra hard and long to find the things they were looking for, even when everyone else gave up. I also did a lot for Christmas every year.

I wrapped the gifts my dad’s wife put aside because she’d forget to wrap them until Christmas Eve if I didn’t, I would write out a grocery list for dad and his wife so they’d get everything they needed, for three years I decorated the house for Christmas so nobody else had to and I did other small things.

ADVERTISEMENT

All I hoped was it would make them see me differently. Even just one person. I also tried to be nice and smile even when I was being ignored or yelled at. I’d try so hard and yeah, I have deep issues because of it all. But this year has been different for me and I don’t know why.

I think it started in June when one of my half siblings came home with friends from college and my half sibling humiliated me in front of their friends by saying I was an affair baby nobody wanted and how gross I was being here still. I just had nowhere else to go. Then I won a laptop in July and since I didn’t have one until now I was excited.

ADVERTISEMENT

But my dad found it and told his wife and she told their kids and one wanted to take it from me and dad’s wife told me I deserved nothing and I better not think I get to keep anything like that when her kids deserve it more. Then my dad told me I needed to be out of the house before my 18th birthday because they were tired of me being here and his wife did not want to see my face any longer.

It all just made me feel so done with them and done trying. I withdrew and I only leave my room for school or my part time job. I don’t even eat in the house anymore because I don’t want to engage. And I did nothing for Christmas.

ADVERTISEMENT

It showed how bad they are at organizing stuff and there wasn’t enough food or anything. My dad came into my room the other night and told me he knew I hadn’t done stuff like normal and he called me spiteful.. AITA?

See what others had to share with OP:

ImportantLog2 −  NTA, you owe these people NOTHING. Remember that, despite what they may have you believe, you owe them NOTHING. They used and abused you all your life for the crime of being born. They put all their rage and humiliation from the affair onto a f**king baby. That’s evil.

ADVERTISEMENT

Your siblings not standing up for you also makes them trash. Focus on saving your money and cutting them all off as soon as you can move out. The best revenge you can possibly have is success. Be more successful than your siblings and prove your s**tty parents wrong.

WMS4YESHUA −  Contact CPS yourself and tell them every abusive thing that your dad and his wife are doing to you, and say that you are an endangered teen in need of safety. See if they can help you find a safe place to stay, somebody that will take you in until you are 18, get whatever help you need possible through whatever state or country you live in, and go completely no contact with your miserable sperm donor.

ADVERTISEMENT

Also, if they succeeded in taking that laptop that is rightfully yours from you, go to the police and report it as a theft. Watch them squirm, watch them do anything and everything possible to try to get you to drop the charges. , but don’t back down. Get out of.

Then, as soon as you can, go completely. No contact with all of them, especially the miserable sperm donor you have for a father, and live your life. Please update us on this, because I’m one of many people who’s very concerned for you.

ADVERTISEMENT

big_bob_c −  NTA. Tell him that you learned spite from the best, and that since he wants you gone, you figured he didn’t want you involved any more.

TerrorAlpaca −  NTA. Would have told him “And you’re a pathtic excuse of a father and human being. Your affair, your mistakes are apparently mine to fix. you should feel ashamed for having a child fix your infidelity. But don’t worry. i’ll be out of your hair soon and then you and your a**hole family can fail together at being humans.”

ADVERTISEMENT

CuriousCake3196 −  NTA. They are abusing you. Before leaving, get everything in order: You need all your papers, like birth certificate, SSN if you’re in the US etc.
Get a new bank account, where those adults don’t have access to.. Secure a place to live. Ask social workers for benefits, you might be eligible to. Don’t leave without a plan, please.

Head-Emotion-4598 −  Call your state’s child protective services (CPS/DFS/whatever your state calls it) and report them. The state might not do much with you being so close to becoming a legal adult but it deserves to be reported. And why didn’t your dad let someone adopt you? He wouldn’t have had to pay after that. Regardless, call on them so it’s on file.

ADVERTISEMENT

Foxyy-Goddess −  NTA. You’ve endured years of emotional abuse and n**lect from your family. Your family’s reaction to your withdrawal is further evidence of their lack of empathy and respect for your feelings, YOU don’t OWE them anything.

Room-Secret −  No matter what you do, no matter what you say it will never be good enough for them. Stop trying to make their lives better and by proxy yours. Just focus on yourself. If you’re still in high school, finish it out. Trust me, a GED or diploma will go a lot further than not having one. Save up every penny that you can spare and find somewhere to go.

ADVERTISEMENT

Lots of people are looking for roommates so you might be able to find a room that’s within your budget. Try to get to know some people outside of your family and build some relationships outside of the family so you have some sort of support system. Don’t give them the laptop.

Hide it somewhere or if there’s anyone that you trust have them hold onto it until you’re in a spot that you aren’t afraid of getting your things stolen. Try to be strong, I know it feels like the whole worlds against you but you’ll find your place, you’ll find the people you want to surround yourself with. Once you leave, don’t look back.

ADVERTISEMENT

They’ll never give you the love and respect that you deserve. Unfortunately they don’t think you should exist in the first place and that breaks my heart for you. Keep your chin up and focus on yourself and s**ew everyone that gets in your way.

1RainbowUnicorn −  NTA. I am so sad and angry for you. Your family are monsters. Please call a domestic violence hotline. You are being emotionally, verbally, and financially abused. They can help find you shelter and get you on your own two feet.  They will also provide therapy.

ADVERTISEMENT

Please make sure you have your important documents, like birth certificate, passport, social security card in a safe place. Don’t give up the laptop. If they take it, report it stolen. Keep any documentation of winning the laptop to prove it is yours.  I know you are strong and brave after all you have endured. Your best revenge will be success in life. Please keep us updated. Wishing you the best.

Lopsided_Carpenter_3 −  If all of this is true please for the love of god don’t let it affect the rest of your life and halt your potential. These people sound like horrid creatures that don’t deserve another second from you.

ADVERTISEMENT

Is it wrong for this teen to stop trying when he’s been constantly rejected by his family? Should he have made an effort for Christmas, or is his withdrawal a response to years of neglect? Share your thoughts below!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Email me new posts

Email me new comments