AITA for divorcing my husband after he cheated with my sister, cutting off my mom for supporting them, and moving on with my life?

A Reddit user shared their emotional journey of divorcing their husband after discovering his affair with their younger sister, cutting ties with their mom for supporting the betrayal, and starting a new chapter in life with a supportive partner. Despite guilt-tripping from family members, they’ve chosen to focus on their children and personal healing. Read the full story below to understand their difficult decisions!

‘ AITA for divorcing my husband after he cheated with my sister, cutting off my mom for supporting them, and moving on with my life?’

This has been the most traumatic year of my life, and I’m wondering if I’m being too harsh or if I’m justified in my choices. I (F35) was married to my husband (M42) for eight years. We have two kids together a son (9) and a daughter (7). I thought our life was stable and happy until everything unraveled seven months ago.

I found out that my husband was cheating on me with my younger sister (24). I didn’t discover it through subtle clues or intuition. My son overheard an inappropriate conversation between the two of them at a family gathering and came to me, confused and upset. When I confronted my husband, he denied it at first, but eventually admitted to the affair.

I was utterly shattered. But what made it even worse was that my mom sided with my husband and sister. She defended their actions, saying, “Your sister is young and doesn’t know any better,” and, “Your husband must have felt neglected to fall for someone else.” Then she had the audacity to suggest I forgive them and “keep the family together for the kids.” I was stunned and disgusted.

My dad, on the other hand, was furious. He called out my mom’s behavior, told her she was enabling betrayal, and eventually filed for divorce from her because he couldn’t tolerate her lack of morals. He’s been one of my few sources of support throughout all of this.

I filed for divorce immediately and cut off my mom and sister completely. My kids have been struggling with the fallout. My son is especially angry and has told me he doesn’t want anything to do with his dad. My daughter is quieter but has been acting out in small ways. We’ve been going to therapy together, and I’ve been doing everything I can to help them navigate this while also trying to heal myself.

Over the past few months, I’ve started putting my life back together. I’ve focused on my kids, leaned on my dad and close friends for support, and even started dating someone new (F36). She’s been incredible—kind, understanding, and supportive. She’s great with my kids, and they’ve grown to love her, which makes me feel like I can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.

But the chaos isn’t over. My sister’s relationship with my ex-husband has completely fallen apart (shocking, right?). Now she’s blaming my mom, saying she encouraged the whole thing. My mom, meanwhile, is blowing up my phone, accusing me of tearing the family apart by refusing to forgive them. She says my new relationship is “a slap in the face” to our family and claims I’m being selfish for not letting her or my sister back into my life.

To top it off, my ex-husband has been reaching out, begging for forgiveness and asking for a second chance. He’s telling me it was all a mistake and that he misses me and the kids. My son and daughter both want nothing to do with him, but I’m conflicted about how much of a relationship (if any) they should have with their father.

My dad and friends say I’m doing the right thing by cutting out toxic people and focusing on rebuilding my life. But the guilt-tripping from my mom and sister is starting to wear me down, and I’m wondering if I’m being too harsh. Should I try to reconcile with my mom and sister for the sake of family? Should I give my ex more of a chance to be involved for the sake of the kids?

AITA for divorcing my husband, cutting off my mom and sister, and moving forward with my life and new relationship?

Edit: I have changed my number and i’m currently moving, no i don’t speak to any of my ex husband’s family and apparently the snitch was my aunt and her husband (are we shocked?) so i’m officially not speaking to them. And for the people complaining about the fact my kids know my girlfriend so what? my children adore her, also for the custody. It’s 60-40, meaning i can choose which schedule the kids can have with their father since i’m the primary.

No i’m not forcing my kids to not speak to their dad, they’ve told me numerous times that they don’t like going to my ex husband’s house and i respect that, i’m currently going for full custody. For the people telling me to get a restraining order, my lawyer said they haven’t done anything to endanger my children and I so i legally can’t get one. My dad also has some suspicions that my mom cheated on him with how she was defending the affair.

See what others had to share with OP:

True-Presentation726 −  Why are you even in communication with your mom and sister? Cut them off immediately, don’t let them get in your head. They are selfish and do not have your best interests to heart. Keep on the way you are, lean on those you can trust, those who haven’t betrayed you. You do know, I hope, that neither of the vile 3 (ex, sis, mom) are ever to be trusted again, right?

And please listen to your kids, keep them in therapy, and if they eventually want to see their dad, then that’s the time, but if never, then that’s on him. I’m sorry to read your story. Good luck moving forward with your new, better life. Keep the horrible selfish ones far away from you and the kids. NTA.

Amadeus3698 −  NTA triple betrayal from ex husband, sister, and mother. Your sister is well enough into adulthood to have known having an affair with her BIL was going to end poorly. Family might mean cutting them more slack than you would for others but it has limits. Obviously this is way beyond that. Block her everywhere and if it’s needed get a restraining order.

Your mom is an i**ot. It would have been one thing to stay on the sidelines and still talk to your sister. She likely cheated at some point and is projecting or is just delusional. Block her everywhere and if it’s needed get a restraining order.

Your ex husband is trickier. He is entitled to time with your kids. I would tell him to leave you alone unless it’s to do with the kids. You should have settled the terms of custody with the divorce. Follow the custody agreement and don’t engage otherwise. If he starts manipulating the kids, talk to the courts and see what can be done.. A c**ater is always a c**ater.

Unfair-Board-7728 −  NTA – Keep them blocked and file harassment charges if you need too. Listen to your father and your children. Sounds like you’re doing everything right and also have a supportive new partner by your side. You got this! 

Electrical-Shine957 −  The husband is an a**hole but the sister is 24. She knew exactly what was going on and that he was your husband. I’m so tired of people giving scum bags like your sister a pass. She wasn’t 16 she was a grown ass woman.

OkLocksmith2064 −  NTA. Boy, am I glad not to have a sister. What a horrible situation. I bet your mom cheated on your dad… her reaction is sus.

cuddlychickk −  NTA. You’re not wrong for divorcing your husband and cutting off your mom and sister after their betrayal. Their lack of support and enabling behavior makes them toxic. You’re focusing on rebuilding your life and protecting your children, which is completely justified. You’re not being harsh—you’re prioritizing your well-being.

iknowsomethings2 −  NTA. Block your selfish and m**ipulative mother and sister. You were right to cut them off. They FAFO. Listen to your dad, he’s right. Tell your ex to f**k off also. What a POS, he’s only coming back now because the relationship with a 24 yr old at 42 didn’t work out, shocker.

The kids are in therapy and if want a relationship with their father, they will tell you. Just make sure they know that whenever they are ready, you’ll support them and that just because he wasn’t a good husband to you, doesn’t mean he isn’t a good father. Best of luck OP and enjoying dating your new person. There is NOTHING to feel guilty for. Here’s to an amazing 2025 for you!

kirinspeaks −  If this isn’t AI (sorry, too many of them have been recently) then no, NTA.

NotInNewYorkBlues −  F**k family if they behave like that they ain’t family.

kpeds45 −  Spread your story out more. 7 months you and your father have filed for divorce, you’ve started dating, they’ve broken up.