AITA for ditching my friend because he was talking to someone for one and a half hours?

A gym-goer shares how he left his friend behind after waiting nearly two hours for him to finish chatting with a woman. After initially waiting in his car for 15 more minutes, he drove home, prompting an angry response from the friend demanding a ride.

The poster refused, explaining the friend could take the bus, especially since he had midterms to prepare for. The friend lashed out, calling him names, leading to the poster blocking him. Now, he’s wondering if leaving was the wrong move. read the original story below…

‘ AITA for ditching my friend because he was talking to someone for one and a half hours?’

My friend and I planned on going to the gym together, it takes about 15 minutes for him to get there via bus or 10 minutes of biking. It takes me 15 minutes of driving to get there. I always gave him rides from his home to the gym and back.

Last week after we were done our session he notices a woman he knows and they talked together, I just assumed it was a 15 minute conversation but I was just standing there waiting for them to be done with for over one and a half hours (yes I started a timer, so probably closer to 2 hours).

At some point I felt like a total d**eb waiting for this guy to be done with and didn’t want to seem like a desperate l**er so instead of telling him to end it, I just left on my own.
I didn’t leave the parking lot immediately though, I waited in my car for 15 minutes for him to come out but he didn’t show up. So I just left and just as I pull up to my driveway he texts me “yo dude where are you”.

I told him that I already left and I’m at home. He responds with “WTF, come pick me up. Why did you leave”. I told him that he’s been talking to that woman for over 1:30 hours and I have s**t to do. He responds with “Why didn’t you just tell me, f**king d**bass. Come pick me up”.

I responded with “Nah, I’m already home. You can take the bus, it’s 15 minutes. It’s literally faster than waiting for me for 15 minutes”. He responds with “it’s f**king cold out and I didn’t bring my jacket. Just f**king come”. I said no.

He responds with “I’m never going to the gym with you. You’re such a f**king d**bass. Could have just told me earlier”. I just left him on read and blocked him. Edit: I did told him earlier (before we left for the gym) that I had mid term exams tomorrow.. AITA?

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Immediate-Bobcat8169 −  I wouldn’t have waited for 20 minutes personally. I’d have waited maybe 5-10 minutes then told him I’m going to the car. I might have waited another 10m in the car, enough time for him to end convo and exchange details but then I’m calling or texting to say I’m leaving.

Then it’s on him to decide whether he wants the lift or not I’m gonna say YTA. Why wait around for 2 hours just to leave without telling him? He’s the ah for his expectations afterwards and how he spoke to you.

No-Leg4864 −  ESH You, because you left, without telling him. There is no problem to appeoach him, and tell him politly, that you will leave in x minutes, and if he wants to join, please be at the car in time. He, because he made you wait that long and demaning that you uber him.

Riyokosan −  I would kot have waited more than 10 minutes. You waited close to 2h in total, which is more than 99% of people out there would have done.

Dentarthurdent73 −  Very weird decisions all around here. I would never speak to someone for over an hour (nowhere even close) without checking in with the person who was giving me a lift.

But OP, why on Earth did you wait so long before leaving, and why didn’t you just approach him after 10 minutes and say ‘hey man, I’ve got stuff to do, I need to leave in 5, just letting you know in case you still want a lift’? I have to say YTA, just because you waited that long and then didn’t even tell him you were going. So weird.

DogsReadingBooks −  ESH. You for not just telling him you were leaving/asking him if he still wanted a ride and then telling him to get his b**t moving then. Him for assuming you should just wait around while he was flirting.

handyandy808 −  NTA, Theres no way he just lost track of time spending 90mins talking to someone. He was counting on you to just wait for him, no one has 90mins to wait around. He was being inconsiderate of your time.

givemekarma1 −  NTA – if you make plans for certain times ( as if you were meant to work out for an hour) then adhere to the time that are set. There’s also a thing called phones that make it so you can talk to people from just about anywhere. You gave him time to realize that you left and if he talked to her for 2 hours then he could have asked here for a ride.

strugglefightfan −  YTA. I see absolutely no reason at all why you couldn’t just walk up to your friend and say that you have to get going rather than standing around for almost 2 hours seething in passive aggressive foolishness. Sure your buddy should have realized it was getting late but that’s trivial as the solutions easily within your reach.

Ladderzat −  I’m torn between YTA and ESH, but going for YTA. Why didn’t you go up to him after 5 or 15 minutes or even after 1.5 hour that you need to get home? You decided to silently wait for 1.5 hours and then leave without even telling him.

You eventually spent 1 hour and 45 minutes waiting for him to pick up some kind of signal you weren’t even actively sending. Communicate, use your words.  Sure, he lost track of time and was wasting yours, but you could have so easily solved this problem by just going up to him and say you’ve got things to do and are leaving. You’ve wasted your own time.

vongdong −  ESH. Was it really that hard for you to tell him?

Was the poster justified in leaving, or should he have waited longer? Share your thoughts below!