AITA for disinviting my siblings from my wedding

A Reddit user faced a heartbreaking family divide after discovering that her dad wasn’t her biological father. While she chose to stay loyal to the man who raised her, her siblings decided to embrace their biological father, demoting the man they had always called “Dad” to “stepdad.”

When her siblings tried to push her toward the same path, she disinvited them from her wedding, sparking accusations that she’s the one damaging their sibling bond. Now, she’s questioning if she went too far by cutting them out of her big day. Invite people to read the original story below.

‘ AITA for disinviting my siblings from my wedding’

There’s me (25f,) sister (27f) and brother (28m) involved here. We were raised together and until 2019 we believed we were a nuclear biological family. Then we found out our dad wasn’t our bio dad, which even he didn’t know, it then turned out my older siblings shared a bio dad but I had a different one.

We were also first cousins because their bio and my bio were brothers. Dad left our mom, hurt, betrayed, and overall disgusted that she had lied to him for two decades. I was equally mad that she lied and hurt my dad. My siblings were less willing to cut her off but their relationship strained majorly.

Dad moved in with me and my then boyfriend, now fiance, and Covid hit. At this point all three of us agreed he was dad no matter what. And there was nothing that could change that.. I meant it; they didn’t.

They found their bio father and mine by extension, and have decided that he is now “real dad” and that our dad is just a stepdad. My brother has even corrected his two little girls who called dad grandpa, into saying he’s stepgrandpa and that’s what they call him, while bio gets called grandpa.

It broke my dad’s heart and he decided it was too much for him to accept. This is after talks between them where he was essentially told to know his place, stay in his lane and demoted with the clear message being nothing would change. I am so pissed at them. They have tried to push me to meet my “real dad” and have told me it’s okay to go back on what we said.

Initially, they were invited to my wedding but with this whole mess I told them they were no longer welcome and I did not want them to show up. They told me that just because they have a relationship with their “real dad” doesn’t change things between us. I told them it does.

That if dad isn’t our real dad after EVERYTHING he has done for us then we’re not “real siblings”, because technically we are HALF siblings and cousins. That my dad is till my dad 100% and biology is meaningless to me. And so it was best for them not to come, because I no longer want them there.

What I said hurt them. My SIL (married to my brother) told me I was an a**hole for throwing half in their faces and cutting them from my wedding like we haven’t been siblings our whole lives. I think that’s almost more annoying to me, because that’s our dad. But he can be s**t on and discarded like he’s nothing.. AITA?

These are the responses from Reddit users:

RefillSunset −  NTA. Your dad is lucky to have a daughter like you. Congrats on the wedding.

Vivid-Rent7730 −  “My SIL (married to my brother) told me I was an a**hole for throwing half in their faces and cutting them from my wedding like we haven’t been siblings our whole lives“ But didn’t your dad raise them their whole lives? And they’ve just dismissed everything he’s done because your mum lied. Essentially it’s your wedding you can invite & disinvite who you want. NTA.

TamaraYC −  NTA. You picked Team Dad, they picked Team Sperm Donor. It’s as simple as that.

PattersonsOlady −  You used their exact reason against them and it hurt them … and still it didn’t click with them ! Outrageous that 20+ years of sacrifices and love can be thrown away, and the love given to a guy who didn’t do anything except f**k a married woman.. NTA

RighteousVengeance −  Well, the only person who’s calling you an AH is your half-SIL/cousin, and she’s hardly objective. NTA. And their hypocrisy is outrageous. You’re still their sister because you were raised together. But the man who raised you for two decades under the impression that he’s your father ***isn’t*** their father? Do they not even see how inconsistent and unfair they’re being? I’m guessing their magnanimous attitude toward their mother is due to the fact that they favor her over your dad.

DeltaIndigoEco −  NTA. It’s your wedding and you can do what you please. If you don’t want them there that’s reasonable. The man that is there for you and raised should not be demoted for something out of his control.

It’s fair that they want to contact their biological father and it’s fair if they still want a relationship with their mother but to treat the man who raised them with such disrespect is n**ty. And if your mother and father get divorced does that mean he’s no longer even be stepgrampa? Unthinkable. If your half brother and sister take offence to the fact you called them as such, then they should understand why your dad is so hurt by being called stepdad.

DrKrash38 −  NTA. That stepgrandpa business is real low. Shame on them.

Elegant_righthere −  NTA. My REAL dad is the man who raised me from 3 years old, the man who was there for every bump and bruise, every sad and happy occasion in my life. I haven’t seen my biological father since I was 5. Not a word.

He knows where I am, he even sent me a friend request Facebook which I hesitantly accepted, and he’s never once spoken to me or reached out to me. My son calls my “dad” his grandfather, and rightfully so. My mom divorced my “dad” when I was 27, and her new husband is my stepdad, and he’s also grandpa to the grandkids. There is no such thing as “stepgrandpa.” Your siblings are rotten, they must get that from your mother.

PoissonPen −  NTA. Funny how the siblings are hurt that you don’t see them as “real” siblings anymore when that’s exactly what they’ve done to the father that raised them.

Neko_09 −  NTA I’m glad your dad has you.. he truly doesn’t deserve this kind of treatment, I personally find it quite disturbing..

Was the bride justified in disinviting her siblings to protect her dad’s feelings, or was it too harsh to sever those family ties over their differing views? How would you handle a situation where your siblings disrespected someone you love? Share your thoughts below!