AITA for demanding the bartender give my fiance another drink?
A Redditor recounts a tense night at a bar with their fiancée and friend, where concern over drink safety leads to a heated exchange with a bartender. After the bartender leaves an opened beer unattended while the fiancée is away, the Redditor questions the practice, ultimately asking for a replacement drink due to past experiences with drink tampering.
This confrontation escalates, resulting in the group being kicked out of the bar. Read the original story below to see how a protective instinct can lead to unexpected consequences.
‘ AITA for demanding the bartender give my fiance another drink?’
I (M25) was with my fiance (F23) and one of our friends (M24) at a bar late night. We had the munchies and no other places in town were open. My fiance ordered some food and a drink. The friend and I did not order anything. My fiance left to use the restroom; while she was gone her food and drink came out.
Her drink was a beer, which was canned.The bartender/server had opened the drink and set it down on a counter away about ten feet away from us, leaving it there for a few minutes, then picked it up and walked over to us setting it down in front of my fiance’s seat. She then then turned to walk away.
My friend and I exchanged glances, thinking why would she leave the preopened drink there and then with us. I’ve worked as a bartender and I would never leave a girls drink open while she was away; I would have just left the can unopened.
It had also been sitting between a bunch of guys for a few minutes while she was off chatting with some dude at another side of the bar The only reason she reembered the drink in the first place was because one of the guys was asking who this drink was for.
When she put it on the table in front of us, I asked the server if it was customary to preopen drinks and just leave them between customers. She got extremely upset and began rolling her eyes while asking her what we were accusing her of. I told her I was just curious as Im aware of the dont leave your drink unattended rule and I would never do that as a bartender.
I then asked her to replace the drink and the server became furious. My fiance had a previous incident regarding drink tampering and I had bells ringing in my mind. It eventually turned into a full blown argument. My fiance came back from the bathroom to find us arguing, while being extremely confused. The bartender was super rude to her as well which set me off further. We then got kicked out of the bar for causing a commotion.. AITA for demanding another drink?
Here’s what the community had to contribute:
Happy_Waltz_1828 − NTA. Your concerns were valid and that server needed to be told that. Drinks should not be passed around at a bar and left around for a chance to be fiddled with. She’s a bartender and should know that. Good on you for speaking up
Driftwood256 − NTA… Never been on the other side of the bar, but as a patron, I’m on your side… This bartender sounds clueless, and you should make a formal complaint to the management… (not to get her in trouble, but hopefully it would result in a conversation about their policies around this…)
And if you don’t feel like the manager you speak with gives you a good response / sounds like this matters or they care, post your story on their Yelp & Google review page… maybe then they’ll wake up…
Particular-Try5584 − NTA. I’ve had a beer spiked… by a bartender. To open a beer, put it between a bunch of random other people, and then bring it to you later is odd.
[Reddit User] − As a bartender and a waitress you HAVE to open a bottle or can infront of the customer because some customers get sketched out if you don’t.. Nta
ShowUsYaNungas − NTA. You ensured the safety of your fiancee snd had every right to do so.
CrabbiestAsp − NTA and I would email management about what happened. My sister has had her drink spiked once, and it was not a pleasant few days for her.
cameforthesnark1 − NTA. I was drugged a few months ago, and I was AT the bar when it happened. I turned to talk to a friend for like 5 seconds. That’s ALL IT TAKES.
CraftandEdit − NTA. When I bartended we opened the drink in front of the customer. If the customer wasn’t present it wasn’t delivered. Can not deliver unopened item as it could be turned into a road pop. But if anyone expressed a concern, we would d**p and replace. So this was weird that the drink was 1- delivered unattended 2- moved from one location to another both unattended and 3- d**p and replace was denied.. Very sus
Ok-Cardiologist-3391 − NTA. This was an important conversation to have with the bartender and this was not acceptable behavior on her part. It was between multiple other men who could have touched her drink; she also doesn’t know how well you two know each other. It could’ve been a first date and it’s not something you take lightly.
Getting your drink spiked is no laughing matter. She should have simply waited till your fiancé arrived. I don’t understand the point of opening a drink and leaving it at different places around a bar. I’m glad you stood up for your fiancé and didn’t stay silent
Odd-Skirt6679 − NTA – I worked as a server/bartender at a cocktail place ant that was considered a fire able offence of done repeatedly or maliciously. Repeatedly means like three times in a three month period:
They also make a nail polish that acts like a roofie strip and changes colour when you get any tainted drink on them, so if you are really concerned about this risk the. You can use that polish. It’s available on Amazon I think.
Do you think the Redditor was justified in demanding a replacement drink for their fiancée, or did they overreact in a way that caused unnecessary conflict? How would you handle a situation involving drink safety at a bar? Share your thoughts below!