AITA for demanding respect from my DIL and if she can’t then get the f**k out?

A 39-year-old mother-in-law (MIL) is frustrated with her daughter-in-law’s (DIL) disrespectful behavior and demands respect, telling her to leave after a hurtful comment. She is now facing backlash from her son. Read the full story below:

‘ AITA for demanding respect from my DIL and if she can’t then get the f**k out?’

I’m a young MIL, I’m only 39. Had my kids pretty young and I am very lucky that my husband makes a lot of money so I don’t have to work. I was a SAHM for a long time and once they started to spread their wings instead of going to work my husband and I decided I would be a home maker and be active in the community.

That’s what I have been up to and I try to make the community a better place. Now my oldest son 22 married and I was really excited until I met her. In general she is a very business focus person that is very blunt. I actively dislike her but I try to be polite for my sons sake.

A few examples of why I don’t like her, her wedding gift I handed over saying it was from me and my husband. She responded back with just your husband since I know it wasn’t your money that paid for it. Saying I am volunteering well that’s not a real job since it doesn’t make money.

It’s passive aggressive and yes I have talked to my son about it and even once’s with her to try to clear the air. We had a get together last night and i made a homemade meal. When I was playing everything she came up and made the comment other no wonder I could make a home cooked meal I don’t do anything else with my day.

I lost it and told her that she needs to respect me or ge the f**k out of my house. She was shocked and then started to cry when I did kick her out. My son is pissed and we had a huge argument and he called me a huge a**hole. I need an outside opinion.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

KronkLaSworda −  NTA. Wow. She’s a total AH. Just because you don’t conform to her “Business Focus” personality doesn’t mean you’ve done anything wrong. What you and your husband have works for the two of you AND you volunteer for the community.

Whether it pays or not doesn’t take away from your commitment and responsibility you show to others. DIL is a piece of work. What does husband say to all of this?

[Reddit User] −  NTA. Holy crap. She’s putting you down for being a SAHM for what? Shits and gigs? That’s very small of her, she’s the a**hole and the fact that you’ve talked to your son about this and how he’s most likely seen her make these comments makes him an a**hole too. I firmly believe that you don’t marry someone because they get along with your family, but that doesn’t mean they get to treat your family like s**t.

[Reddit User] −  NTA. How on earth could your son be justifying this behavior?

Living-Highlight7777 −  NTA – what the hell? Who made her the boss of what women should and shouldn’t do or what does and doesn’t count as contribution?? She needs to keep her condescending comments and judgements to herself.

tastygluecakes −  NTA – somebody welcomes you into their home, cooks you a meal, and your response is back handed comments like that? GTFO
And your son as an AH because he doesn’t want to deal with the fact his wife is rude AF,

and instead is making it your problem because to him that’s easier than addressing the real problem. C**ard for letting somebody come treat his own mother like that and just watching it happen.

IamIrene −  NTA. Your DIL is only a girl and needs to grow up and learn what basic respect is and how to give it. You tried to be polite about her disrespect by addressing it with your son and she still doesn’t seem to understand. A verbal slap in the face seems to have been necessary to call her attention to her bad behavior.

You just know she’s off somewhere crying, “I didn’t do anything but tell the truth!!! I’m such a truthful person…why is that offensive?? What did I do?” She doesn’t understand relationship dynamics and how a person can contribute more than just money and that is often just as valuable as money.. These people need to grow up.

[Reddit User] −  NTA, but your son and his wife sure are. Your son should never tolerate that kind of BS from his wife. For the wedding gift, I would have said, “My contribution was wrapping it and bringing it, but since it’s not really from me this never happened” and snatch the gift back.

ImSeriouslyHigh −  Yeah this smells like context is missing. A whole lot of “I do nothing wrong, she’s just rude to me out it know where” vibes here

Agreeable-Book-7018 −  NTA. Tell your son they are not allowed back in your house until she apologizes.

beanfiddler −  INFO. What is your and your husband’s emotional and financial relationship with your oldest son and your other children? How old is your husband? What did your daughter-in-law say or do at your first meeting that made you “actively dislike” her? Why were you “really excited” until you met her?

Was the MIL justified in demanding respect from her DIL, or did she overreact? How would you have handled the situation? Let us know your thoughts below!