AITA For demanding my fiancé and his mom to pay for a new wedding address?

A Redditor (26F) is furious after her fiancé (28M) and his mother ruined her wedding dress. The dress, which was already slightly over budget, was taken by her fiancé to show his mother, who tried it on along with her sister-in-law.

When the Redditor returned, she discovered the dress was damaged, with the zipper broken and fabric stretched out. She demanded that her fiancé and mother-in-law pay for a new dress, but they refused.

Now, she’s considering postponing the wedding. Read the full story below to find out more about this heated situation.

‘ AITA For demanding my fiancé and his mom to pay for a new wedding address?’

Me 26F and my fiancé 28M been engaged for 4 months, we’re planning on having our wedding on October 18th, My future mother in law kept annoying me and sending me suggestions for choosing the right wedding dress,

and said that she knew better and tried to get me to approve of wedding dresses that she chose and when she couldn’t enforce her decision she demanded that I take her with me to buy my wedding dress so she could have an opinion.

Before I went shopping I called her to ask if she wanted to come but started making excuses about how busy she was with my sister in law, I went shopping with my mom and I was able to find a really nice dress although it cost me a little over what

I saved up for, but it was worth it. I made some changes to it and it was perfect, it arrived to my apartment at the end of the week, I made sure it was stored in a safe place so it doesn’t get ruined.

Yesterday, I got back from my mom’s house, and found that my fiancé wasn’t home neither was the dress, I called him immediately knowing that he must’ve taken it to show it to his mom since she continuously asked to see it and refused to have me send her pictures of it on Facebook.

I was so mad when it was confirmed that my fiancé took it to show it to his mom, he said he was gonna be home in 30 minutes after he went to the supermarket I waited for longer than I had to and then when he arrived I ran to get my dress that was buried underneath grocery bags,

I took it to check on it and it’s zipper was broken and the dress itself (fabric) was stretched out, I was like what the f**k happened to it, my mother in law must’ve tried it on, because it looked ruined, the straps were almost loose,

I had to call my mother in law when my fiancé told me his mom and sister took turns to try it on, I was absolutely livid, she told me she did nothing wrong and that I was making a big deal out of it.

She said she’d get a replacement for the broken zipper, but I told her to pay for a new dress since it was stretched out and no longer fitting, she refused and said that I probably wasn’t happy with my dress choice and wanted to her to pay so I could get a new one, I yelled at her for trying it on and ruining it,

that she and my fiancé were responsible for ruining my dress so they should pay for a new one, It’s done, no longer fitting, the straps are in a horrible condition, my mom said she’d pay for fixing it but I just hate it now that someone else wore it before me. I’m mad at both of them and seriously considering postponing the wedding.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

mindcontrolmanatee −  NTA. Girl do you hear yourself?? Your fiance took your wedding dress without permission and allowed multiple people to try it on!

Do you understand how disrespectful and innapropriate that is? You not only have a bad mother in law problem, you have a HUGE fiance problem. Needless to say, id be doing more than postponing.

NedryIsInSector1104 −  You don’t need a new dress you need a new fiancé. NTA

Berthatydfil −  Don’t marry him- you will always be second best to his mother and sister. What normal person tries on their future daughter in law /sister in laws wedding dress.

And what’s worse he took it round to their place so they could do that.
Read the mother in law from hell stories and then run away far and fast.

fiveoclockmocktail −  NTA. There are so many levels of wrong here, and none of it by you.
First off, it’s super rude to try on someone else’s wedding dress. It’s *extremely* rude to try a dress on to the extent that the zipper breaks.

Like, there had to have been some serious tugging and yanking and signs the dress obviously did not fit before the zipper broke. But it’s really, really creepy that your fiancee’s mom wanted to wear *your* wedding dress. Did she imagine herself marrying her son? And it’s very, very red-flaggy that your fiancee treated your wishes so cavalierly.

Does he plan to put his mother ahead of you when it comes to things like kids or who he spends time with? Is there a pattern of him ignoring your wishes when it conflicts with hers? Does she make “jokes” about how you’re taking her son away?

reemkms −  NTA. First : your fiance took your dress without your knowledge or permission?. Second :they tried it on ?
Why tho!!? that goes beyond commen sense and what’s right IMO.

I think you should let them pay for it and get your fiance involved,
if he doesn’t apologize and demand his family to repay you and apologize to you maybe you should consider all this wedding thing because stuff like that will keep happening in the future

lightwoodorchestra −  NTA, but I don’t think you need a new dress as much as you need a whole new fiancé. You are signing up for a life of him intentionally enabling his family’s s**tty, disrespectful behavior.

Josie_F − NTA and what kind of fiancé even looks at the wedding dress never mind even taking it to people to look at and then letting them try it on
Yes they should pay for a new dress but not be there to see it and when it is ready store it at your mom’s

elationonceagain −  NTA. You are incredibly lucky to have been given such a clear glimpse into what your life will look like if you marry this man. Throw the dress and the man away and go and live your best life.

The_Chaos_Pope −  NTA. He sucks for caving into their pressure and bringing the dress, his mom and sister suck for destroying your property.

Someone needs to pay to have this fixed to your satisfaction and from the sounds of it, it probably needs to be replaced with an identical non-ruined dress. If his mother and sister won’t do it, then he needs to do it because without him stealing the dress, it never would have been ruined. Remember that. He stole your property because his mother asked him to.

The_Thugmuffin −  NTA. The issue isn’t about the wedding dress. The issue is about boundaries. You would be right to be upset of they tried on ANYTHING of yours without permission, but that your fiance TOOK it to them to try on?!? Oh FN.

You need to discuss with your future SO about what is acceptable and what is not acceptable. For me this would be break up worthy. My SO needs to respect me and my wishes before his parents because we are a team and need to act like a team. Freaking…so many lines crossed! The second hand anger is real…

Btw, take them to small claims court (no lawyers needed) for the cost of the dress and go buy a new one. Don’t eff around or they will continue to try and do this kind of stuff.
Lastly, I would bet money your FMIL wanted to pick the dress specifically to use it on another occasion.

Was the Redditor justified in demanding her fiancé and his mother pay for a new dress, or did she overreact to the situation? How would you handle this conflict in your own wedding planning? Share your thoughts in the comments below!