AITA for declining unpaid childminding?

A Reddit user (on a partner visa) shares their frustration about their partner’s brother asking them to babysit his children without any payment. The brother wanted their partner to take unpaid leave from work twice a month to care for the kids when he and his partner had unplanned work shifts.

The Redditor called out the unfairness of this situation, leading to the brother blocking all communication and accusing them of manipulating their partner for choosing work over babysitting. Read the full story below to learn more about this family conflict.

‘ AITA for declining unpaid childminding?’

I moved to Adelaide on a partner visa. My partner has been here for nearly a decade. His siblings are also here but in separate homes.
His brother wants us to take care of his children from time to time, asking my partner to go on unpaid leaves, like twice in a month, to attend to the children as the brother and his partner have unplanned work shifts and they can’t send the kids to childcare.

I called this out, saying how unfair it is for him as a casual AIN to not go to work, unpaid, for childminding duties. His brother won’t also pay him for taking the day off at work.

His brother got so mad at me and blocked all communication channels with me. He told me that I’m manipulating my partner because he chose to go to work instead of minding his niece and nephew.. AITA here?

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Oso_the-Bear −  i totally agree with everything you believe except that you are supposed to discuss your concerns ith your partner and if he feels he is being taken advantage of then it is up to him to say no – you cant speak or decide on his behalf – -he has to make his own choice not to be a doormat

EdumacatedGenius −  NTA. Bro sounds very e**itled. On top of babysitting for free, your boyfriend is expected to miss work, which technically means he is PAYING to watch his brother’s kids.  Who pays money to watch someone else’s kids? I could see it being something he might do as a courtesy every once in a great while, but twice a month? Heck no.

neenish_tart −  Meanwhile in Australia we’re all struggling under the cost of living and he wants you to work for free?? NTA

WhereWeretheAdults −  NTA. You definitely needed to call out the brother on this one. Brother is just upset you have thrown a monkey wrench in the perfect little s**m he was running on your partner to get free childcare.

So brother accuses you of being m**ipulative (that’s called projection) and punishes you for calling him out. Brother was b**lying your partner for free childcare. Like any b**ly when called out, he is playing the victim and throwing a tantrum.

MissNikiL −  NTA. Why can’t they go to childcare? It’s because they have to pay for it, right? Sacrificing for family doesn’t mean you have to take an unpaid day off work for them to work. Sacrificing for family means you don’t bring your kids to your sister’s child-free wedding.

It means wearing the u**y bridesmaids dress without complaint. Like, if it was a very, very occasional thing I could see it but on the regular??? Nope.

SJammie −  NTA- Dude, f**k that guy. “Don’t get paid so you can look after MY children for me,” I don’t think so. As an Adelaide resident, I am ashamed of your partner’s brother.

Complete_Special_721 −  NTA and the BIL is the manipulator. How dare you ruin his manipulation! Why can’t they send their children to childcare? Never heard that one.

Zieglest −  Hell no. Expecting your partner to take unpaid leave is completely unreasonable. Why is their work more important than his? NTA support your partner to grow a backbone.

KindaNewRoundHere −  NTA – his kids, his problem.

StandOutLikeDogBalls −  NTA. The brother should be the one taking those days off or paying for a babysitter to care for his own child instead of asking your partner to regularly lose income or vacation time to do it.