AITA for cutting off my hearing so I don’t have to listen to a family member.

A Redditor shared a unique way they dealt with their overly critical aunt during quarantine. The poster, a deaf teenager, and her younger sister decided to block out the aunt’s constant nagging — literally! By removing her cochlear implants and having her sister wear AirPods, they tuned out the aunt’s negative remarks. Although their dad backed them up, they later felt guilty upon seeing their aunt in tears. Did they go too far in seeking peace? Read the full story below!

‘ AITA for cutting off my hearing so I don’t have to listen to a family member.’

I (15F) am deaf in both ears after getting meningitis as a toddler. Luckily my parents really pushed intervention, so I can read lips, know sign language and have cochlear implants, so I’m basically like any other girl my age. I just can’t hear for s**t.

My aunt (40) has been staying with my family-that’s me, my mom, my dad and my 13 year old sister- during quarantine. She is REALLY not someone I like. She critiques every little thing my sister and I do, tells us we need to eat more (or less, depending on the day, even though we’re skinny), butts in to our personal conversation and just is snoopy in general.

She tries to instigate fights between us- like asking my sister if she’s mad I have something she doesn’t. It’s also important to know she’s done nothing to learn about communicating with me. I’d say about 90% of the rest of my extended family knows sign language. We’ve told our parents about it a million times, and they’ve talked to her. I don’t think they’ve given her an ultimatum, so my sister and I devised a plan.

For the past few days whenever my aunt starts talking, I just detach my hearing aids and my sister puts in her airpods and turns up the volume. We can understand each other fine. My aunt didn’t get it the first couple of times but I think today she understood we were ignoring her and got really upset. She told my dad, and from what I understand, he basically told her she needs to lay off if she’s bothering us that bad or she can leave. I was happy to hear that, tbhz

I heard (lol) her crying later though, and that made me feel like *s**t*. I never meant to make someone cry and now I kinda regret the whole thing. Are my sister and I assholes for going to such extreme measures? We just wanted her to leave us alone, or at least be nice to us.

EDIT: Wow I went to sleep and look what I woke up too! Thanks for all the nice comments and stuff! Here’s a few things I wanted to point out. I have good hearing with the implants in. Without them in, I will only hear some thing VERY loud right next to my ear (like if someone claps into it). Doctors typically rate it on a scale- I am severely deaf. Cochlear implants have two parts- external and internal.

The external connects to the internal with a magnet. It comes off like you would take off a magnet on your fridge. I CAN switch it off, but I thought the message would get across better if I yanked it off my head. I wish I could answer everyone who’s PM’d me or left comments about the implants. I think unfortunately that’s something for your doctor- everyone is different.

I agree aunt doesn’t need to learn sign language. However- because I was in early intervention and then speech therapy for most of my childhood, I have a more “normal” speaking voice and so she says I should talk. It’s a bit nasally sounding to me and I prefer to sign.

Aunt likes to move out of my line of sight and that forces me to speak and makes me feel bad. Also, yes my little sister is amazing. Thanks for all the nice comments about her. She’s my best friend and I love her so much. We decided to be nice to aunt today and see what happens.. Talk atcha later!

These are the responses from Reddit users:

ipakookapi −  NTA and if I had a mute button for s**tty people I would use it, too. She’s an adult, you are young/kids, and she should be able to deal with it. Glad to hear your dad is on your side.

Baltusrol −  NTA. I’m glad your family is in your corner and your sister sounds like a cool cat. If your aunt doesn’t care to make any effort to communicate with you then what can ya do? Maybe she’ll get the point and start to make an effort, or maybe she’ll leave. Either way, problem solved

round_robin959903 −  NTA. Your parents should have addressed this after you and your sister tried. My uncle likes to lecture everyone about all the little things. He thinks he knows everything. One of my funniest memories of my grandfather was him turning off his hearing aids while my uncle was trying to lecture him about not eating sweets. He didn’t even try to be subtle about turning them off. He also picked up his book and just went back to reading. You were way nicer than you could have been.

BrittCattica97 −  NTA!!! She is making you and your sister uncomfortable in YOUR home. Good on your father for standing up for you two as well.

auditail −  NTA. My sister uses hearing aids and she does this a lot whenever she’s annoyed. She’s been doing it since kindergarten when she realized she had a way to avoid listening to the annoying boy who sat at her table. We like to joke that she has the superpower of selective hearing.

[Reddit User] −  NTA. She has the option to leave if she really wants so it’s not like she’s stuck where you guys are making her life hell. It’s just simply ignoring her comments and such. If she’s really that hurt to cry about you guys ignoring her then she needs to just learn to stop being annoying.

[Reddit User] −  NTA, my sister is deaf and she often finds things overwhelming. I can only imagine it’s even more frustrating when someone just refuses to accommodate too. Don’t worry yourself, and keep her on mute. It’s lovely to hear how supportive the rest of the family is

MegatronsMullet −  I would not care what someone like her thought. She’s being mean and is now feeling sorry for herself that you hurt her feelings. She’s the grownup. In the same scenario I would do the same again if I were you. NTA. 0/10 for self awareness on her part.

WI_YouSaidITAll −  I had a friend, when I was about your age, that had the same hearing capabilities and w/ cochlear implants; when he was mad at his father he would detach his hearing aids and look away. His Dad would move into his line of sight and he would counter by just closing his eyes.

It was REALLY hard to stifle my laughter and keep my jealousy of this super power to myself. Are you an a**hole for doing this… eh, a little bit, there are other ways to communicate your displeasure with this woman (though good on your for talking to your parents first). Is your aunt an a**hole? Sure sounds like it.

If she can’t take the message from your parents, take a hint or even attempt to learn sign or to mind her business, then I say overall NTA. Wish I had your super power. Just don’t let “tuning out” be your main form of conflict resolution… though I doubt you will.

janess84 −  NTA — She is crying because you took away her control, not because she is actually sad. Don’t feel bad about it. She just likes the drama she was causing and you put a stop to it.

Do you think the teens’ actions were justified as a form of self-care, or did they take things too far by ignoring their aunt? How would you handle a family member who refuses to respect your boundaries? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below!