AITA for cutting off my ex-wife’s kids I raised for 9 years when I found out they had been lying to me?
A Reddit user shares a heart-wrenching story about the painful decision to cut ties with his ex-wife’s children, whom he raised for nearly a decade. After discovering that the kids had been lying to him about their biological father spending time with them, he felt betrayed and realized that his role in their lives had been reduced to a financial provider.
Faced with the emotional toll this deception took on him, he decided to prioritize his own mental health over a relationship he once cherished. Read the original story below to explore the complexities of love, trust, and family dynamics.
‘ AITA for cutting off my ex-wife’s kids I raised for 9 years when I found out they had been lying to me?’
I 41m was married to my ex wife 38f for 2 years before we split up. She has 5 kids that I had been helping her raise for almost 9 years as we had an on and off relationship before we got married. The kids are 22f, 19m, 17m, 11m, and 9f. I have always had a great relationship with all the kids and treated them like my own.
Theirs dads weren’t really in the picture and I was the man that stepped up to be there for them all. My ex and I would still spend time together and see each other after our initial split as we were trying to work things out. During this time she would date other men and have them in the home with the kids.
I worked out of state and would talk to her and the kids regularly like a husband and father would and would spend my days off with them all. Well the lying came into play when I found out on accident that the dad of 3 of the kids had gotten out of jail and was spending time with my wife and kids behind my back because no one wanted me to find out because he told them not to tell me.
I was then informed that they had been covering for their mom’s indiscretions the whole time ive known them. Full specifics as I would come down from work on my time off the kids would all hide whatever man their mom was seeing at the times things and tell the little ones to not say anything to me.
If I had found out what they were doing I would have stopped paying all the bills and taking care of all of them. When I was told all of these things I realized that I was just an atm and them and their mom never really cared about me so I cut all contact with the entire family. I decided my feelings and my mental health was more important that constantly caring for ppl that don’t care about me or how I felt about what was being done to me. So AITA
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
Electronic_Fox_6383 − NTA at all. You were a stand up guy to them and they treated you poorly, end of story. Good luck to you.
joecee97 − Your ex is a terrible mother
NatashOverWorld − Even the kids betrayed you. Damne son, that’s rough. I’m sorry you went through that.. NTA
8512764EA − NTA. Dating a single mom is fine. Dating a single mom with 5 kids from different fathers, at least one of which is in jail, might not be the best idea.
_ammara − NTA. Your ex is a hoe. You deserve better and those kids clearly didn’t value you as much as they should have. Have they tried getting in contact since?
Stunning-Reindeer-29 − This entire story front to back is a red flag. NTA.
Snoo-32071 − NTA Sorry this happened to you.
RJack151 − NTA. If they ever contact you, remind them that you are not thier father, and you don’t associate with liars.
heathenessoftheswamp − NTA. You are 100% correct that your feelings and mental health these mooching liars
[Reddit User] − INFO: How old were the kids at this point? Seems like they were pretty young, and not really able to fully comprehend the level of betrayal they were involved in.
Do you think the user was justified in cutting off contact with his ex-wife’s kids after feeling deceived, or do you think there could have been another way to handle the situation? How would you approach a relationship where trust has been broken? Share your thoughts below!