AITA for cutting off my ex-wife’s kids I raised for 9 years when I found out they had been lying to me?
Losing a spouse is a heartbreaking ordeal, and dealing with family tensions can make it even more difficult. One man recently shared how his relationship with his ex-wife’s children unraveled after discovering a series of long-standing lies. For nearly nine years, he had stepped in as a father figure to her five kids, helping raise them and supporting the family financially.
But when he learned that the kids had been covering up their mother’s affairs, even hiding the involvement of one of their biological fathers, he decided to cut ties. Now, he’s questioning whether his reaction was justified or if he acted too harshly in response to the betrayal.
‘AITA for cutting off my ex-wife’s kids I raised for 9 years when I found out they had been lying to me?’
I 41m was married to my ex wife 38f for 2 years before we split up. She has 5 kids that I had been helping her raise for almost 9 years as we had an on and off relationship before we got married. The kids are 22f, 19m, 17m, 11m, and 9f. I have always had a great relationship with all the kids and treated them like my own. Theirs dads weren’t really in the picture and I was the man that stepped up to be there for them all.
My ex and I would still spend time together and see each other after our initial split as we were trying to work things out. During this time she would date other men and have them in the home with the kids. I worked out of state and would talk to her and the kids regularly like a husband and father would and would spend my days off with them all.
Well the lying came into play when I found out on accident that the dad of 3 of the kids had gotten out of jail and was spending time with my wife and kids behind my back because no one wanted me to find out because he told them not to tell me. I was then informed that they had been covering for their mom’s indiscretions the whole time ive known them. Full specifics as I would come down from work on my time off the kids would all hide whatever man their mom was seeing at the times things and tell the little ones to not say anything to me.
If I had found out what they were doing I would have stopped paying all the bills and taking care of all of them. When I was told all of these things I realized that I was just an atm and them and their mom never really cared about me so I cut all contact with the entire family. I decided my feelings and my mental health was more important that constantly caring for ppl that don’t care about me or how I felt about what was being done to me. So AITA?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
8512764EA – NTA. Dating a single mom is fine. Dating a single mom with 5 kids from different fathers, at least one of which is in jail, might not be the best idea.
_ammara – NTA. Your ex is a hoe. You deserve better and those kids clearly didn’t value you as much as they should have. Have they tried getting in contact since?
Electrical_Claim_691 (OP) – The oldest did. I didn’t go to her baby gender reveal party and she was upset because she said I would be the last person that she would have thought about not showing up. And my MIL messeged me to ask for money for heaters and cold weather clothes because the 2 little ones were staying with her. She forgot that she pull the same thing the year before and I sent money that time.
Duke-Guinea-Pig – NTA, your ex and your MIL are certainly the AH. Then there’s the kids. Unfortunately, we are not mind readers. Did they lie to avoid hurting you? Did they lie for money? Did they lie because they want your love? We’ll never know. It’s also possible that they lied for different reasons. I can’t pass judgement on the kids, but I understand your decision to cut them off.
joecee97 – Your ex is a terrible mother
Electronic_Fox_6383 – NTA at all. You were a stand up guy to them and they treated you poorly, end of story. Good luck to you.
NatashOverWorld – Even the kids betrayed you. Damne son, that’s rough. I’m sorry you went through that. NTA