AITA for cutting my mil off because she told my daughter she hoped I had died when I was taken to hostpital?
A recent car accident left more than physical scars—it unearthed painful family secrets and left a mother grappling with the aftermath of deeply hurtful words. After a crash that required her to be cut from the wreck, a 30-year-old mom faced a new kind of trauma when her young daughter, in tears at the hospital, revealed that her grandmother had said something shocking: she hoped the mom would die so that the family could all live with her.
This revelation, heard by a vulnerable 6-year-old and later confirmed by a 12-year-old, has shattered long-held bonds of trust and forced a painful decision about maintaining contact with the mother-in-law (MIL).
The incident unfolded during what should have been a moment of family support in the wake of an accident. Instead, the hurtful words ignited anger and disbelief. Despite assurances from her husband that he supported her, the emotional fallout left her questioning whether her decision to cut off contact was too harsh. Now, as the silence from her husband lingers, she finds herself wondering if she overreacted or if she simply did what was necessary to protect her emotional well-being—and that of her daughters.
‘AITA for cutting my mil off because she told my daughter she hoped I had died when I was taken to hostpital?’
When a family member’s words cause deep emotional trauma, especially in front of young children, the impact can be long-lasting. Family therapist Dr. Melissa Hart emphasizes, “Children absorb words like a sponge, and when a trusted elder says something as hurtful as hoping for a loved one’s death, it not only undermines the child’s sense of security but also sows seeds of mistrust within the family.”
In this situation, the MIL’s comment was not a simple misunderstanding—it was a blatant disregard for the emotional safety of a child who was already frightened by the events of a car crash. Experts in family dynamics suggest that setting firm boundaries in such cases is both necessary and justified. The decision to cut off contact with a family member who has inflicted emotional pain—even if the comment was later couched as a “misunderstanding”—is a step toward protecting one’s mental health.
Dr. Hart further explains that “maintaining a relationship with someone who has repeatedly shown they do not respect your family’s boundaries can lead to ongoing emotional distress.” While the husband’s silence may indicate his own inner conflict or guilt, the priority in these moments must be the well-being of both the parent and the children.
It’s important to note that boundaries are not about punishing someone for a single mistake, but about safeguarding the emotional space required to heal. By choosing to go no contact with her MIL, the mom is asserting her right to a nurturing environment free from the toxic influence of hurtful words. As difficult as it is to sever familial ties, experts agree that preserving the mental health of your children—and your own—is paramount.
These are the responses from Reddit users:
The Reddit community has overwhelmingly supported the mom’s decision. Many users have condemned the MIL’s behavior as not only insensitive but downright abusive, particularly given the traumatic context of a car accident. Commenters have expressed shock that such a remark could be made in front of a frightened child and insist that protecting the children’s emotional well-being must come first.
One user argued, “There’s no excuse for telling a child you hope their mom dies—this crosses every boundary of acceptable behavior.” Others have echoed the sentiment that if a family member’s words cause such deep hurt, it’s entirely justified to limit or even sever contact until trust can be rebuilt.
In conclusion, while feelings of guilt may creep in after making a difficult decision, the need to protect yourself and your children from ongoing emotional harm is both valid and necessary. The MIL’s comments were profoundly damaging, and choosing to cut contact is a step toward ensuring a safe and supportive environment for your daughters.
The lingering silence from your husband may signal unresolved hurt on his part, but it does not negate your right to establish firm boundaries. What do you think? How should families balance forgiveness with self-protection when hurtful words shatter long-standing bonds? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below—let’s open a conversation about healing and the difficult choices we sometimes have to make for our well-being.