AITA for crying at my boyfriend’s behavior?

A woman (23) tried to make her boyfriend’s birthday special by dressing up, making his favorite breakfast, and tying a gift ribbon around her neck as part of the surprise. However, her boyfriend didn’t acknowledge her efforts and left without much notice.

When he returned with his brother and a kitten later that day, the boyfriend dismissed the name she suggested for the cat, and his brother scolded her for crying. Now, she wonders if she overreacted and made the day about herself. read the original story below…

‘ AITA for crying at my boyfriend’s behavior?’

I (23f) have been with my boyfriend for two years now. He jokes that he “got me” for his birthday, so I try to make his birthday nice. So I put on an outfit he liked, made his favorite breakfast, and tied a gift ribbon around my neck so he could “unwrap” me.

He ate breakfast without any comment on it being his favorite, and didn’t notice my outfit or neck-ribbon. Then he asked me to have dinner ready when he was back by seven in the evening and swatted my b**t and left.

I was kind of hurt, because I wanted to be part of what he enjoyed that day, but I ignored it, because I didn’t want to make it about me. He came back at seven with his brother and a kitten he got from his sister. He let me name her, and I decided on “Kitty”

He laughed loudly and said that was dumb, and I teared up. I tried to explain myself, but I couldn’t talk well enough to communicate something other than a vague “I wanted to be your present”

His brother told me to stop, and got a really harsh tone when I couldn’t, then left. My boyfriend just awkwardly said he was tired and he’d talk with me about it tomorrow. It’s tomorrow, and he was at work before I woke up. AITA? I feel like I made his birthday about me.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

ShallWeStartThen −  What exactly were you crying at? You sound like a 13 year old… Are you living together? Did you get him anything for his birthday, other than a ribbon around your neck and ‘you’ (which he probably didn’t even realise)He made a joke a few times, you need to stop obsessing over it.

Saying that your BF was mean for laughing at you and calling you dumb over the cat name. And his brother sounds awful. You might want to rethink this whole setup.

Norodia −  Everyone is acting weird in this story. Your boyfriend, whose birthday is coming up, goes out for the day with his friends, but before he does, he tells you to have dinner at 7pm? That’s it? Weird relationship.

You standing there with a ribbon around your neck? You’ll cry because your boyfriend got a kitten, but “you wanted to be the present”??

Lilo_Obi86 −  While I agree that perhaps he could have acknowledged the fact that you made him a nice breakfast I think that being upset that he got a kitten for his birthday from his sister because YOU wanted to be the present is a little bratty.

Especially if you didn’t get him anything other than a nice breakfast and a ribbon around your neck (you haven’t mentioned whether you did or not but the fact you said “I wanted to be the present” kind of implies you didn’t).

Obviously I don’t know your financial situation so if you didn’t get him a present I’m not going to judge you but being pissed off that someone did get him something that he loved because you tied a ribbon around your neck and you think that should trump everything is a little silly.

21centuryhobo −  This is weird

GhostParty21 −   tied a gift ribbon around my neck so he could “unwrap” me..  “I wanted to be your present”. Omg. I am cackling, cringing, and dying of secondhand embarrassment. 

omeomi24 −  You did make it about you. He ‘didn’t notice’ your outfit – he was getting ready for work – did you say ‘happy birthday’ or just expect him to understand? You would name a cat ‘kitty’? Seriously? Are you really 23?

whorl- −  **Use your words.** Also, you sound like a 14-year-old. Are you?. ESH

buttpickles99 −  YTA – s** shouldn’t be a gift. It should be an act of love which there does not seem to be any in your relationship. Go cry about it.

Numerous_Fun_1211 −  I hate when women think s** is a gift. How would you like it if all he did for your birthday was offer to have s** with you?

1IamTrying −  This whole thing sounds like it was written by a child. 😳. It feels illegal, reading this.

Do you think her feelings were justified, or did she unintentionally shift the focus? Share your thoughts below!