AITA for correcting a friend when she said she “re-homed” her cat?
There’s a fine line between responsibly rehoming a pet and outright abandoning it. While life circumstances can force owners to give up their animals, there’s a right way and a very wrong way to do it. Dropping a pet off in the hopes that someone will take it in? That’s where the debate begins.
One Reddit user found herself in the middle of this controversy when her friend proudly shared a story of how she “rehomed” her cat. The catch? She left it outside a local salon in a carrier, hoping someone would take it. When the OP (Original Poster) pointed out that this was actually pet abandonment, her friend became furious. Now, OP is wondering: Was I too judgmental, or was my friend really in the wrong?
‘AITA for correcting a friend when she said she “re-homed” her cat?’
Expert Opinion:
What Counts as Responsible Rehoming?
While OP’s friend may think she found a convenient solution, what she did is considered animal abandonment, which is illegal in many places. According to the American Veterinary Medical Association (AVMA), responsible pet ownership includes ensuring animals are placed in safe, stable environments when they can no longer be cared for (Source). Simply leaving a pet outside a business and hoping for the best is neither ethical nor responsible.
Dr. Emily Weiss, an animal behaviorist and former VP of Shelter Research at the ASPCA, emphasizes that pets don’t just misbehave for no reason. “Inappropriate elimination is often a sign of stress, medical issues, or improper litter box maintenance. Owners should work with a vet or behaviorist before considering rehoming.”
In this case, OP’s friend never explored why her cat was urinating on the bed. Instead, she discarded it as an inconvenience. Possible reasons for the cat’s behavior could include:
- Medical Issues: Urinary tract infections (UTIs), kidney disease, or bladder stones can cause pain when urinating, leading cats to associate the litter box with discomfort and seek out soft surfaces instead.
- Stress and Anxiety: Cats are territorial animals, and any change in their environment—new furniture, a different routine, new pets, or even new scents—can cause stress-related urination.
- Litter Box Problems: If the litter box was not cleaned regularly, was placed in an inconvenient location, or contained a litter type the cat disliked, it could have led to avoidance.
- Attention-Seeking Behavior: Some cats urinate on their owner’s bed as a response to neglect or emotional distress. If the owner was not spending enough time with the cat, this could have been a cry for attention.
Instead of consulting a veterinarian or an animal behaviorist, OP’s friend decided to take the easiest route—abandoning the pet without ensuring its safety. This decision shows a fundamental misunderstanding of pet ownership. A responsible owner should first attempt to understand and resolve the issue before making the drastic choice of rehoming.
If her cat was suffering from a medical issue, she effectively abandoned a sick animal rather than seeking treatment. If it was a behavioral issue, it likely could have been corrected with some effort. This lack of concern for the pet’s well-being makes OP’s judgment of her friend entirely justified.
What Responsible Rehoming Looks Like
If someone genuinely needs to rehome a pet, the proper steps include:
- Identifying the Problem First – Many behavioral issues can be resolved with medical care or training.
- Finding a New Owner Beforehand – Posting on adoption forums, reaching out to rescues, and conducting interviews to ensure a good fit.
- Providing Medical Records & Information – Ensuring the new owner understands the pet’s needs and history.
- Surrendering to a Reputable Shelter If Necessary – Rather than dumping an animal, shelters and rescue groups can properly place them.
Here’s What Reddit Had to Say:
Reddit was not kind to OP’s friend. Many pointed out that what she did was both irresponsible and potentially illegal. Others noted that she didn’t even attempt to solve the issue before giving up the pet.
The overwhelming consensus? OP was absolutely right to judge her friend. Abandoning a pet isn’t just morally questionable—it’s dangerous for the animal and can even be illegal. Responsible pet ownership means putting in effort, even when it’s inconvenient.
What do you think? Should OP have handled the conversation differently, or was she right to call her friend out? Let us know in the comments!