AITA for confronting my girlfriend for photoshopping pictures?
A 20-year-old man confronted his girlfriend (19F) after noticing she had photoshopped pictures he took of her in a bathing suit, despite them both previously criticizing photo-editing. She initially denied it but later admitted she edited the pictures due to insecurity, which upset him further since she lied.
He expressed that it hurt his trust, though she argued it was a small lie. Now, he’s unsure what to do next, as his trust issues from past experiences are being triggered. read the original story below…
‘ AITA for confronting my girlfriend for photoshopping pictures?’
So I(m20) took pictures of my girlfriend(F19) in a bathing suit because I’m a photographer, she posted them and I noticed they didn’t look the same so I compared the original and it was photoshopped.
I asked her about it in a nice way and she said no repeatedly, finally she caved and told me and I told her how that made me upset, mainly about the fact that she lied to me. I don’t agree with her doing that and she knew that beforehand too.
Since a few days earlier we BOTH were laughing and criticizing people that do it. She expressed its because she’s insecure and I get that and gave her the shpeal that she’s gorgeous and perfect before the photoshop.
But then questioned why she would lie to me and she said it was because she knew I’d get upset and didn’t wanna hear it. So then I brought up how it effects my trust in her and she got very upset and claimed this was something very small and wouldn’t lie about something big.
Which just sits wrong with me, she has been very open and honest about loyalty and stuff like that so I’m not worried she’s lying about big things but idk what to do. Preface, I have some trust issues from my parents and past relationships, she knows this and still lied straight to my face about it.
This just happened 30 minutes ago and she’s taking a nap upset now while I’m in the living room and I don’t know what to do next. Am I the a**hole for confronting her and telling her my trust in her has gone down?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
[Reddit User] − Bro, who cares? This is such a stupid point to fight over. She photoshopped them because it made her look better, or the colors were off.
Literally every photographer ever, photoshops every one of their pictures in post edit. Are you an a**hole for getting mad about this?. Yes, 100%.. Is she an a**hole for lying?
From the fact you went on Reddit and raged about it all, I imagine you’re not giving her much of an opportunity for honesty, in your relationship. So, no, you kinda forced her hand to lie, by being an a**hole in the first place.. End of.
trying3216 − You have trust issues. Most other ppl could move past this easier.
Gothhollows − Leave her alone . It’s kinda like you want people to see her every insecurity. Which your now her biggest
DadOfKingOfWombats − YTA. During your conversation with her, she was honest about it. Yeah, you had to press her, but she fessed up and told you why. And you’re proving her right by bitching to internet strangers about it.
NervousChoowawa − “I asked in a nice way” lol if you had to point out you asked in a nice way you obviously didn’t Yta
eastermn − YTA. You sound controlling and emotionally m**ipulative. She was probably embarrassed, and you immediately blow up and throw your own past- that has nothing to do with her- in her face. I don’t blame her for not wanting to deal with it. Sounds like you both could benefit from some counseling.
theQuick-witted20s − YTA. She clearly has insecurity issues for her to want to alter her images. You should try to be more understanding and supportive about that instead of making a huge thing out of this non issue. She probably didn’t tell you because she’s embarrassed.
To then turn that into a “trust issue” with past relationships and parents…just sounds so insecure, controlling and emotionally m**ipulative on your end. Her altering her photos have nothing to do with the s**t relationships you were in or the issues you have with your parents.
She needs to work on her insecurities and you need to work on letting go of issues that happened in the past that have nothing to do with her.
sbgkhzhd − YTA she was obviously worried that you would make fun of her and criticize her the exact same way you did about the other people — she lied to protect herself from your judgement bc she knows your opinions on it already.
You say the conversation would’ve been different from the start had she been upfront but tbh I highly doubt that given what you said about how you speak about people who photoshop.
The issue was not that she was embarrassed to own up to photoshopping but that you have created a dynamic in which she does not feel safe being open with you when it comes to her insecurities. Especially bc you said she’s usually extremely open and honest.
That tells us this was directly due to discomfort and fear of your reaction. The hypocrisy when it comes to empathizing with you gf for facing the same insecurity as the people you s**t on for photoshopping is bs.
Sea-Tradition3029 − YTA In my opinion it’s not about trust, it’s about she edited YOUR photos and your ego couldn’t take the hit.
poofycade − How the f**k does your girlfriend editing her photos affect your trust in her. You are just looking for any reason to get mad at her I hope she leaves your sorry ass my god this is one of the most petty things ive ever read.
Then you even went on reddit and posted the whole thing. YOU KNOW YOURE THE A**HOLE. Thats why you are trying to get some sort of confirmation bias on reddit. WOMP WOMP dude she photoshopped her waist and boobs why are you crying about that on reddit oh my god.
Im only being a d**k here because you need to take a hard look at yourself and realize this is cringe and you are the a**hole and should apologize. This is embarrassing. A lie?! I cant even believe you feel like the victim here. No ones the victim she just edited her damn photos because she’s insecure.
Do you think he overreacted, or was it valid to confront her about trust? Share your thoughts below!