AITA for confiding in my girlfriends family about my crappy family and making it obvious at school?

A Reddit user (16M) shares that he has become close to his girlfriend Piper’s family, especially since his own family situation is difficult. His family dynamics are strained due to his parents’ past, half-siblings who don’t treat him well, and a stepdad who has never accepted him. He confided in Piper’s family about his struggles and spent time with them during holidays and when his own family was away.

When his school put on a play, Piper’s family came to support him, which upset his mom. She confronted him afterward, accusing him of making the family look bad and revealing “private family business.” The user is now questioning if he made the situation worse by confiding in Piper’s family and being open about his struggles. Read the full story below to see what happened!

‘ AITA for confiding in my girlfriends family about my crappy family and making it obvious at school?’

I (16M) started dating Piper (16F) a year and a half ago and in the past few months I’ve met her family and become really close with them. They’re so great that I spend most of my free time at their house and I even spent Thanksgiving with them. Not to mention I stayed with them for a week when my family went on vacation in August. Because they’re so great to me I opened up about my crappy family and how I’m basically the only person in my family who has nobody.

The way things are is this. My mom was married and had Jace (23) and Nora (22) with her ex-husband. She cheated on him and had me. My dad was also married and had kids and none of them wanted anything to do with me because I was born from an affair. And sometime in the first year my dad was arrested and put in prison for a lot of financial and violent crimes. My mom’s marriage to Jace and Nora’s dad ended because of me.

Apparently he could have found a way to forgive her if she hadn’t been pregnant and Jace and Nora hated me always for that. When I was 2 mom got married again and she had two more with her husband. Liv (14) and Cameron (11).

My mom’s husband didn’t like my dad very much so he never accepted me and always said I was the half with no whole. That was his thing because Jace and Nora have each other and Liv and Cameron have each other. I don’t get treated the same and both of my siblings other families dislike me. None of my siblings like me. Liv, Cameron and I should be close because we’re closer in age. But their dad’s attitude about me has influenced how they see me.

Mom doesn’t seem to care as much for me either. She married someone who has always wanted to leave me out of family vacations. So I used to go to her friend’s house when they’d leave and the last three years they were leaving me home for a week. Only I had somewhere to go in the August we just had.

Mom doesn’t have her own family so I was never anybody’s grandson or nephew or cousin and I don’t get included in that stuff. Jace and Nora’s dad I always knew hated me and he’d snap at me if I got too close to him. I never did any extra curricular’s but I never had anyone at a school play or anything.

Anyway, one of my teachers wanted to put on a play for the holidays and she had all her classes come together for it. Piper doesn’t have this teacher so she wasn’t there but her family knew Liv had the teacher and was in it and that anyone who showed up in my family would only be there for Liv, so Piper’s family came for me. They showed up and they cheered me on and stuff.

Piper was with them too! But my mom noticed when I was with Piper and her family and she approached Piper’s mom after the families were all asked to leave. Then my mom asked why Piper’s family would come all the way for me and why did they seem to think I’d need support.

I told her they were being nice. But she said I made them look bad and then she asked me if I told them “private family business” and I didn’t say no and she told me I had made them all look so bad and I made it so obvious at school and it wasn’t right. It got so tense afterward that I’m spending a few nights with Piper’s family. But I feel I made things even worse when I didn’t want to. I never expected mom to react like that.. AITA?

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

boobsgames −  NTA. It sounds like your family has treated you poorly, and you found a safe, supportive environment with Piper’s family. It’s natural to confide in people who care about you when you’re struggling, and Piper’s family clearly offered u love and encouragement. U deserve support, and it’s okay to seek it where you find it.

Business-Ad-2305 −  What would have happened if Piper’s family hadn’t come? Would you have felt supported? Your mother seems to be ashamed of her actions (rightfully so) and wants to hide them from others. That’s her problem. Not yours.

She isn’t giving you the support you deserve so you shouldn’t feel ashamed whatsoever for finding people who have your back and will celebrate your accomplishment’s with you. You should actually feel proud you have developed these relationships with others on your own! It’s not an easy thing to do, especially at your age. This is your life and you have no obligation to keep secrets to protect your mother’s reputation.

acromp −  I’m sorry dude, this is a really tough situation to be in. Regardless of the circumstances of your conception, none of that was your fault and it is a shame that the adults in your family can’t seem to see that. Your mother knows she’s in the wrong… hell, I bet your entire family does.

It sounds like Piper has a good family who are pretty perceptive. Teenagers are usually not half as slick as they think they are when hiding things, so there is a good chance her parents would know something was wrong with your situation whether you said anything or not. All I can say is hold on: you are close to the age when you can get a job / go to college and get out of there. Your family don’t deserve you and maybe they will see that one day. Until that day comes, f**k ‘em.

Robinnoodle −  As someone who constantly had to mask and hide the s**t I was going through growing up. . NTA. If your mom can’t handle how your family is perceived, maybe she should encourage them to be better people and stick up for her son (you). I wish I had been honest with what I was going through so I wouldn’t have felt like an island. I’m so glad you’ve found a support network.

passthebluberries −  I am old enough to be your mother and reading your story just breaks my heart. I wish I could give you a big mom hug right now. You deserve to be loved and treasured by your family, not made to pay for your mother’s poor choices. None of this is your fault and I’m so sorry you’ve been forced to grow up in this kind of hostile environment. I am so glad that you have Piper and her family to support you and care for you.

There’s nothing wrong with them showing up for you at the play. Your mom is just mad because she doesn’t want other people to see her for the neglectful parents she is. It’s very sad that she cares more about what other people think than about how you’re actually doing. Good news is you’ve only got two more years left until you can put your “family” in the rear view and start a new life away from them. Hang in until then, it will get better. NTA of course.

BefuddledPolydactyls −  NTAH, your mom’s feeling a bit of guilt that another family showed up for you – not likely because she’s ashamed of how you are treated, but because it might reflect poorly on her. That’s her issue to deal with, not yours. You’ve been lucky to find support outside your family, and it’s unfortunate that your mom is seeing that as a bad thing. I’m sorry it’s making things \[more\] tense at home, but your mom was seeking performative attention, while Piper’s family is providing supporting attention.

Antique_Pop1519 −  NTA. Hang in there, you don’t have much longer until you can go out on your own. Focus on getting a good education, and making a promising future for yourself. You are important! You deserve to feel supported! You deserve to feel like apart of your own family! Sometimes this means we have to cut out the blood and build a family of our own out of love. They may never see what they are doing as wrong, but you don’t have to take abuse forever. I wish you all the best!

kukonimz −  Whatever bad light your mom is in, it’s well deserved. She doesn’t deserve your silence. Hold on to the people that support you. I’d also let the school counselor know how your mom is to you. Take care of yourself.

big_bob_c −  NTA. You didn’t make them “look bad”, they’re handling that all on their own. It’s already obvious to everyone at school how much your “family” cares, having another family celebrate you just rubbed her face in how p**s poor a mother she is.

Tell her “Your husband and kids have made it abundantly clear that I am neither wanted nor welcome in the ‘family’, you have never shown up to celebrate me. If that weren’t enough, you’ve taken vacations without me for years. Just how do you imagine you look to everyone?”

IMAWNIT −  Hang in there. None of this is your fault at all. At all. Continue to build your own life and keep around those who support you genuinely and care for you and distance yourself from those who don’t. From your post sounds like Piper’s parents are good people and everyone else in your home can be distanced.