AITA for complaining about the couple in the hotel room next door?
A Redditor shares a frustrating experience during a romantic vacation in Europe with her husband, where their attempts to reconnect are overshadowed by the noise and antics of a young couple in the adjoining hotel room. After asking hotel staff to address the situation, tensions arise between the couple, leading to conflict and hurt feelings. Read the original story below to see how this vacation drama unfolds.
‘ AITA for complaining about the couple in the hotel room next door?’
I (38F) am on vacation in Europe with my husband (41M), we have been together for 14 and this is our first trip without our kids. Part of the reason we have taken this trip is to ‘rekindle the relationship’. This is a two week trip and we are on day 9, for context we have had s** once. We were both drunk, and I think we both forced it a bit. We get on great as people, but our s** life has been an issue since we had children.
This has only gotten worse since last year my husband told me he ‘loves me but doesn’t find me attractive sexually anymore’ which was upsetting and hurtful as in the past three years I have gained over 100lbs. We are staying in an amazing 5 star resort, the hotel rooms has its own small pool and terrace to sit out on.
Since we arrived my husband has found issue with nearly everything, the hotel, the staff, the food and the other guests. Five days ago in the room next door a young British couple took the room. For context they are both very attractive, if I found out they were instagram models or something I would not be shocked.
The issue is each room shares a wall with another room, and we share a room and a lower balcony where we can see there terrace with this couple. Since they have arrived we have heard them having s** more or less twice a day, in addition when they are sat on the terrace they are kissing and all over each other, in addition the woman next door is sunbathing topless.
I know we are in Europe and thats the norm but I find it hard to get use to. My husband quickly befriended them over the balcony, and truthfully I think lusting over the woman next door. Who I think was oblivious to this. I have also spoken to them both and they seem nice.
After being woken in the middle of the night two nights ago to the sound of them having s**, and again that morning. I went and asked the concierge if they could ask them to keep it down. Obviously having been told something, last night the man next door angrily told my husband if he had an issue he should of said something directly.
My husband did not know I had reported it, and we then argued all yesterday evening. My husband called me ridiculous and a prude and that if I was ‘more carefree’ we wouldn’t have any issues. I also brought up his obvious like of the woman next door and he angrily said ‘why wouldn’t I, she is young, thin and hot’ which was an obvious dig of what I am not.
He then angrily walked around the hotel room before going to sleep in silence. This morning I woke up to a text that he had gone to hike up a hill/mountain – this takes all day and we had decided earlier in the trip we wouldn’t do it. Since he returned we have hardly spoken, and we were supposed to go out for dinner but he has suggested we just order room service.
AITA for complaining about the couple next door? or is he the a**hole for leaving me in the hotel all day on vacation? Looking for a bit of context if complaining about the couple next door was as bad as he is making out.
Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:
Baileythenerd − **YTA** OP, I know you’re hoping we’ll judge you vs your husband, but that’s not the thing that’s ultimately at the core of the “AITA” judgement. You took out your insecurities and dissatisfaction with *your* vacation on a couple on *their own* vacation.
You could’ve talked with them directly since there clearly was some communication, if your issue was *actually* with them. Instead you were mad at your husband, and decided that SOMEONE needed to be punished, why not the people triggering your insecurity? Yes, your husband is an a**hole, and you need to work that out with him- but you don’t need to take out your pettiness on bystanders.
Fragrant-Hyena9522 − You don’t need a vacation, you need therapy. You two seem to have serious issues that a different bedroom isn’t going to solve. If you are both intent on saving your marriage, you owe it to yourselves to at least try counseling or therapy. Edit: Thank you for the award and all the upvotes. Most importantly, I hope this couple can rekindle the love that was once there. Thank you again kind strangers.
DeckerAllAround − YTA, sorry. Your husband is the *biggest* a**hole present, but you’re taking out your frustrations on innocent bystanders. It’s not the younger lady’s fault that your husband is an inappropriate horndog. It’s not their fault that your vacation isn’t having the restorative effect you were hoping for.
And honestly, I don’t think the main issue is that they’re having s**. The main issue is that your husband sounds terrible, and he’s making you feel terrible, and you’re searching for a reason to be feeling terrible that isn’t the doom of your longstanding relationship.
CheeryBottom − ESH. I think your husband has realised something that he doesn’t want to say verbally so he is allowing his behaviour to speak volumes instead. I strongly believe your husband has checked out of this marriage and this holiday without having any distractions to hide behind, has made him realise your worst fears about your marriage.
The both of you need a very serious conversation, away from any distractions. Please prepare yourself for the worst and I hope you have a support network available when you get home.
Innerouterself2 − YTA – it aint the neighbors you have a problem with hunny. Yeah sure, asked to be moved rooms as you can hear the nieghbors… all night long… but it is not your husbands fault the neighbors seem nice. Y’all got big ol issues and a 12 day vacation probably wont fix anything. What it will do is make the issues bubble to the surface so you can deal with them. Have some drinks, get some sun, find a book, relax, – the nieghbors are doing the same thing.
StAlvis − YTA. Your **insecurity** and **jealousy** are *your* burdens to carry. This has only gotten worse since last year my husband told me he ‘loves me but doesn’t find me attractive sexually anymore’ which was upsetting and hurtful as in the past three years I have gained over 100lbs. Well you clearly know what you need to do. Whether you do or not is entirely up to you.
Eliza-Day − YTA. You let your jealousy and insecurity get the better of you. You weren’t happy with how your vacation is going and took it out on a couple for being happy and doing what people do in hotels.
OhHeyBluePenguin − ESH. You let your jealousy for that young couples relationship which is still passionate and fun, cause you to try and spoil things for them. I understand feeling insecure, and I understand this isn’t the trip you wanted, but I think you could have approached this differently.
Your husband sucks for not making more effort with your relationship and not trying to rekindle the romance, and yes, he sucks for leaving you all day, but the more of your post I read, the more I wondered why you are still together and trying to force intimacy that just isn’t there anymore.
To a much lesser degree I do think the young couple s**k a little for being so loud, but honestly it’s a romantic trip and while they could keep it down a little, they are e**itled to their fun! I think you need to seriously consider whether your marriage is still working.
canada11235813 − Yes, YTA. There are a lot of issues to unravel here, but you’re asking about one specific one, and the right way to handle it would simply to have mentioned it to the couple, possibly is some sort of joking way…
“Heheh listen, you know, back when we were young maybe we could’ve kept up with you, but anyway, notwithstanding you guys are having a great time, we’re older and like to sleep more. If possible, you know, tone it down a notch or two” — or something like that.
Taking it to a 3rd-party because of your own insecurities really is an AH move. Deal with your own problems like an adult, and take it up a level if you actually need to. And jeez, not telling your husband about it and letting him face the wrath? You created a big mess and ruined your vacation.
SeaExplorer1711 − I’m going to go against other judgements but I really think you are NTA. Regardless of what you are going through with your husband, it is extremely annoying to hear people f*ck multiple times per day. They can keep doing their business without the whole floor knowing. Should you go to them first? Maybe.
But it is a very uncomfortable conversation to have with people you don’t know and I doubt that they got more than a phone call saying “we have a report of noise coming from your unit. Can you keep it down please?”. It’s not like they got fined or were asked to leave the hotel. On the other hand (this was not your question but I’m going to say it anyway) your husband is extremely rude and the way he talks to you is unacceptable.
Gaining weight is not an excuse for him to say offensive things to you. If he wants to discuss your s** life and try to find ways for both of you to connect again, great. But it seems that his intention is not exactly to talk and make things better but to make you feel self-concious about your body.
Do you think the user was justified in complaining about the noise from the couple next door, or was it an overreaction that added strain to her relationship? How would you handle a situation where external factors disrupt a much-needed romantic getaway? Share your thoughts below!