AITA for closing the baby gate.
A Redditor shares a disagreement with his wife regarding closing the baby gate at night. The couple has a young baby who is sick and starting to crawl. The Redditor feels it’s necessary to close the gate to prevent any accidents if the baby were to wander.
While his wife believes it’s unnecessary and prefers the gate open for easier access. After closing the gate one night, which caused their baby to wake up and led to a tense argument, the Redditor wonders if he’s in the wrong. Read the original story below…
‘ AITA for closing the baby gate.’
Our 8 month old is starting to crawl everywhere. We have lowered the crib to the very bottom so he doesn’t easily crawl out of the crib. He sleeps in his own room on the 2nd floor. We are across the hallway. Between us is the stairs to the first floor.
I always close the baby gate to his room at night because god forbid he miraculously escapes his crib and tumble down the stairs in the middle of the night. My wife doesn’t think it’s necessary because our son can’t even stand on his own. She likes to leave the door and the gate open so she can quickly get in and out if he needs her at night.
Our son is currently sick with a cold. Has been extra fussy. Eats poorly and sleeps poorly. If he wakes up at night it’s takes about an hour of rocking and cuddling to get him back to sleep. I’m also sick. My wife has been doing the bulk of childcare as a result. Tonight on my way to bed, I noticed the baby gate to his room is once again open.
I shut it and it made a loud clanking sound. He woke up. My wife couldn’t get him back to sleep for 2 hours. My wife flipped out at me and called me an Ahole for waking him up and not thinking about the consequences which she has to deal with because I’m sick. I apologized but I told her I think I am in the right for closing baby gate.
I will just be gentler next time so it’s not so loud. She got even more mad because she think it’s completely unnecessary and I’m just making her life more difficult when she’s the one who has to deal with our baby at night. I should be making her life easier not harder. AITA for closing the baby gate and wanting to close it?
Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:
stepintothefairyring − Yta. Thinking the gate should stay closed would be fine if you hadn’t closed the gate so hard you woke the baby and put your wife out for two hours.
Your actions had a negative impact on both your wife and child. When she was expressing her frustration to you about what you did was absolutely not the time to start talking about how right you are in a separate argument.
check_out_channel_9 − YTA you woke the baby so you should’ve been the one to get him back to sleep.
wolf359DamnSoFine − YTA, you woke the baby, you and baby are both sick, YOU should have soothed baby back to sleep. You don’t think single parents get sick and also have to manage childcare issues while under the weather?
You said yourself, your son cannot stand on his own right now, he definitely won’t master that while weak from sickness. Your wife said she kept the gate open for now TO MAKE HER LIFE EASIER getting in and out of his room while he’s sick. Apologize to your wife and then ask her what you can do to make up for being unhelpful in this situation.
psycholinguist1 − NAH. If it’s specifically the stairs that worries you, have you considered moving the baby gate to block the stairs? Then you can go in and out the bedroom at night quietly, but still prevent c**astrophe.
Temperance522 − The real problem is you just think you are right, and you are making your wife’s life harder. Why have a gate to the babys room? That just breeds difficulty for mom, and I’m gonna guess mom is up more often at night, so her choices win out. Move the gate to the top of the stairs and stop trying to win the damn argument. You are just being stubborn.
Western-Customer-536 − YTA. You are all young, stressed, sick, and exhausted. It is only a matter of time before something like this happened.
First rule of relationships: you are a team. You have to work together. If she wants it open, you leave it open. You just disregarded her wishes and you don’t have a good reason for it to be closed.
You just told her that her opinion or feelings didn’t matter. You know there is no chance of the baby getting out but you decided to be selfish. You took two hours of her “being asleep” time away and you didn’t even handle the consequences after you screwed up. You are a grown ass man. A father. A husband. Take some responsibility and be a leader in your household.
ButtonTemporary8623 − YTA. closing the baby gate is fine, it probably should be closed, however if it was so loud it woke up, that sounds like it was on purpose. Also why THE F**K did you wife spend two hours putting him back to sleep when you’re the one that woke up? You should have been up, regardless of if you’re sick or not. Also I wouldn’t exactly classify 8 months as a “new parent”
poetryhome − YTA. Put the gate across the top of the stairs and leave it closed all night so it doesnt have to be opened everytime you go in babies room. Learn to open and close quietly!
castle_waffles − YTA: I think you closed the gate loudly on purpose because you’re so convinced you’re right about it. I don’t even disagree with you about the gate being closed but you made more work for your wife who frankly should have made you put the baby back to sleep whether you’re sick or not.
Next time she’s sick (likely soon after caring for a sick infant) you had better let her rest and opt out of childcare as you’re doing too!
s0rtag0th − Why the hell were YOU not the one getting YOUR child to sleep after YOU woke him up? Wife doing all the work, wife gets to set the boundaries. YTA
Do you think the Redditor’s concern for safety by closing the baby gate was justified, or is his wife’s preference for convenience more reasonable? How would you balance safety and convenience during challenging parenting moments like this? Share your thoughts below!