AITA for choosing a lunch I liked instead of one my family could enjoy?

A 14-year-old girl (14F) was celebrated by her family for receiving a few awards at her end-of-year prizegiving. Her parents offered to take her out for lunch to celebrate, and she chose fish and chips at the beach, her favorite meal.

While her father was supportive of the choice, her mother was not a fan of fish and chips and didn’t enjoy the beach, ordering sushi and Coke instead. The mother seemed stressed and annoyed during the outing, and the girl began feeling guilty for not considering her family’s preferences. Read the original story below…

‘ AITA for choosing a lunch I liked instead of one my family could enjoy?’

So I (14F) had my end of year prizegiving today. I got a few awards and my parents said they were going to take me out to lunch to celebrate. They said I could pick any place I wanted, and I asked to get fish and chips and take it down to the beach (which is a twenty minute drive away).

They were a bit surprised, and my mum asked me if that was what I really wanted. I said yes, because that’s my favorite food and the fish and chip place just has some dingy wooden tables. My dad didn’t care, because he loves fish and chips, but my mum doesn’t.

When we order it she usually gets something else, which I know. She may have also been tired after a three-hour prizegiving and she doesn’t really like the beach. I honestly wasn’t thinking about any of that when I decided, just what I wanted to do.

She ordered some sushi and coke instead which we picked up on the way. We went back to our house to pick up our dog (he is a big beach fan) and my mum was stressed that we didn’t have sunscreen or hats (we did, but we hadn’t prepacked them because I had no idea this was going to happen).

She said it was cold at the beach and didn’t talk to me very much. I can tell this wasn’t what she wanted, and I feel really guilty for spoiling what could’ve been a fun treat. AITA

See what others had to share with OP:

Flamsterina −  NTA. You’re old enough to make your own decisions. Your mom sounds selfish.. What’s a prizegiving?

Fresh_Process6822 −  First of all, congratulations on your awards! How wonderful to be recognized and get to celebrate with your parents. You were given the privilege of choosing where to eat because you were the person being celebrated. It’s totally fair to choose the place you really wanted.

Your mom may not prefer that food or your preferred setting (beach), but she wasn’t allergic or otherwise unable to eat fish and chips, she got an alternative she preferred, and so all is fine. I’m sorry she behaved in a way that made you worried you misstepped.

As a parent myself, when my kids choose places to eat for their special occasions, even if the choice isn’t necessarily something I love, the focus is on celebrating together and spotlighting the guest of honor. You’re NTA. 💗 I would say NAH, but with a nudge toward your mom of hiding her displeasure better in this kind of scenario.

soy_vanesa −  NTA It was your celebration, and your parents said you could pick the place. Your mom’s reaction seems more about her own preferences. She could have communicated her feelings or helped find a compromise if she truly couldn’t enjoy the outing. And feeling guilty shows you care about her feelings, which is sweet.

ToastetteEgg −  Don’t feel bad. Your mom got her sushi and you got your fish and chips at the beach. Try not to sour your great day with dwelling on your mom’s feelings. I’m sure she was happy even if tired.

Mathalamus2 −  NTA. your mother should know when not to be selfish.

Key-Twist596 −  NAH. Your mum would have said no and told you to pick somewhere else if she didn’t want you to have your choice. So even though she doesn’t enjoy those things and wasn’t very good at hiding it, she went along with it because she loves you.

Don’t feel guilty, as that defeats the object of her going along with it. Instead, remember how much you enjoyed the food on the beach and how much your parents want to make you happy. Make it the good memory it should be.

First-Industry4762 −  NAH, you picked something you liked when you were asked, no problems there. That said while you picked up on that she inwardly wasn’t pleased with the choice and was also probably a bit stressed, she didnt bite off your head either.

I mean it happens: sometimes someone makes a choice and you try to not to let your disappointment show or spoil the mood, but people can tell anyway. I dont think your mom is an a**hole for not being able to hide it better.

Nester1953 −  This was your celebration, not your mom’s celebration. I assure you the woman could have coped with a couple of hours of eating sushi at the beach. You did nothing wrong; by prioritizing herself over you at your special afternoon and acting cold and withdrawn instead of celebrating you, your mother did. Not a very good example of adulting.. NTA

redundant_parameter −  NTA. “I feel guilty for spoiling what could have been a fun treat” You did NOT spoil anything and you should NOT feel guilty. Your mom spoiled the fun by being pissy about your choice, after she asked you to choose.

If anyone tries to blame you for her pissy mood, please tell them that you are not responsible for your mothers moods or behavior. This is a classic feeling for people who are being gaslighted.

Do not take the responsibility for her moods or actions. It was your lunch, your choice. She can choose not to participate, but if she choose to participate and be pissy about it, she is the one ruining the day.

The girl chose a lunch she truly enjoyed but now feels guilty, thinking she might have ruined the treat for her family. What do you think? Share your thoughts below!