AITA for charging my sister’s family to stay in my house during Christmas?

A Reddit user (31F) is facing backlash from her sister (35F) and family for charging a cleaning fee and utility costs for her sister’s family to stay at her home during Christmas. After a chaotic stay the previous year, where her sister’s kids caused damage to her property, the user decided to set clear boundaries, asking for a $100 cleaning fee, covering any damages, and $50 per night for utilities.

Her sister feels this is unreasonable, calling her greedy and accusing her of ruining the holiday spirit. The user is unsure whether she’s being too harsh or just protecting her home. Read the original story below to get the full context.

‘ AITA for charging my sister’s family to stay in my house during Christmas?’

The article has the next update at the end.

I (31F) recently bought my dream home after working hard for over a decade. It’s a beautiful 4-bedroom place with a huge backyard and a pool. I’m single and live alone, but I love the extra space and use the rooms as an office, a guest room, and a gym.

My sister (35F), her husband, and their three kids (7M, 5F, 3M) asked if they could stay at my place for Christmas. They live out of state and wanted to spend the holidays with our family without paying for a hotel. Initially, I was okay with it until I remembered the absolute chaos they bring wherever they go.

They stayed with me for a weekend last year, and it was a disaster. The kids destroyed my sofa with markers and spilled juice on my rug, which I had to replace. My sister brushed it off, saying, “Kids are kids” and didn’t offer to pay for the damage. Her husband barely helped with cleaning or watching the kids. I felt like a maid in my own house.

So, this time, I told her they could stay but with conditions. I sent her a “house guest agreement” where they’d agree to:
1. Pay a $100 cleaning fee upfront..
2. Cover any damages immediately.
3. Pay $50 per night for utilities since heating and water costs spike in winter.

I don’t think this is unreasonable. I love my family, but I also want to protect my home and avoid unnecessary stress and a headache during the holidays. But she flipped out. She called me greedy and said I was treating my family like “Airbnb guests.” She argued that it’s the holiday season and I’m ruining the spirit of giving. Our parents are siding with her, saying I’m being ridiculous and cold-hearted.

I argued that this is my house, and I’m not obligated to let them stay for free when I know they’ll cause damage and stress and I’m sure they can afford it since they just spent thousands on a Disney trip. I’m only asking for a fraction of what a hotel would cost. Now the family is divided. My sister says I’m the a**hole for prioritizing my money over family. I think I’m being fair by setting boundaries, but maybe I’ve taken it too far? I don’t know please help.

Edit: For those who want to know, I spent at least $500 to replace my sofa and rug after the kids damaged them last time, and my sister didn’t offer to help with the cost.
Edit again: I posted an update: https://aita.pics/gLcdV

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

pixie-ann −  NTA but it’d just be better if you said no. Regardless of how much money you charge the kids probably won’t be any better behaved. The husband won’t be any less lazy and neither of them will be better parents. You’ll be on edge the whole time and they’ll be resentful. They may even see payment of fees as giving them a free pass to be slobs.

Better for them to stay with your parents or anyone else who is on their side (put your money and your peace and sanity where your mouth is folks) and you can enjoy your nice clean, undamaged home.

FakinFunk −  Just say no, dude. ”Hey sis. While I’m looking forward to seeing everyone, I am reminded that last visit your kids caused significant monetary damage to several areas of my house. I just don’t feel confident that you’ll be able to prevent a repeat of that. I’d like to avoid any misunderstandings or hurt feelings, so I’m going to pass on hosting your little ones till they’re a little older and less rowdy.”

I mean, she’s gonna be pissy whether you say no or present her with a contract that—come on—you definitely knew was going to p**s her off. Just choose the easier option of “no” and move on.

Secret_Sister_Sarah −  NTA. $50 a night plus $100 for cleaning is NOTHING compared to what they’d pay for an actual AirBnB. Stick to your guns on this one, otherwise they’ll come in spilling and breaking without a care in the world for you or your property.

CreativeMadness99 −  NTA but I think it’s better to ask them to stay with your mom or an Airbnb. If they didn’t respect your home before, they’re not going to do it now.

Excellent_Ad1132 −  They came thru destroyed your property and had you as the maid. Tell her it will be a cold day in hell before you ever let them into your house based on how they allowed their hell spawn to act, especially since they didn’t even bother to keep them under some kind of control.

When any relative gives you any crap about it, tell them that you will give your sister their number, since it is obvious that they are willing to host them. See how fast that BS turns around. When it is a bother to you, it is ok, but the second it will be their problem, oh hell no.

chaingun_samurai −  Our parents are siding with her, saying I’m being ridiculous and cold-hearted. Tell your sister’s family that your parents volunteered their house to stay at.

Careless_Yoghurt_822 −  I would have sent her the receipt for the damage the last time. She wouldn’t have asked again or she would have paid up.

BlossomGlowCharm −  NTA. Protecting your space isn’t greedy, it’s smart. It’s your home, not a free hotel. Maybe next time they’ll value your stuff if they have to pay up for it.

Open-Sector2341 −  Just say no.

Turmeric_Ping −  ESH. Your sister should have controlled her family better last time, and insisted they respect your home. But the charges ***are*** petty. You’d look considerably more sympathetic if you’d simply said ‘After the way you behaved last time? You’ve got to be kidding. No’. That way it wouldn’t be about the money.