AITA for charging my family for my baking?
A Reddit user (15F) shared a conflict with their family about being paid for baking elaborate sugar cookies for a large Christmas party. Despite previously baking cookies for free for theater events and smaller family gatherings.
The user feels that the 12+ hours required for this year’s expanded project justifies compensation beyond the $75 incentive offered by their mom. Their family believes the request is unfair and that contributing to the party should be an act of generosity, not a paid service. Read the full story below to see both sides of this debate.
‘ AITA for charging my family for my baking?’
I (15F) am a theater kid. I used to have a tradition of baking and decorating sugar cookies for the cast and crew of every show that I was in. The cookies started out relatively simple with very basic designs, but the casts I was in grew progressively larger.
And over time my designs got more elaborate, until it got to the point where I would spend 12 hours in the kitchen baking cookies for 50 people, in addition to 3 other deserts for all of the people with dietary restrictions. The last batch I made for theater was in fall 2023, and then I stopped. I haven’t baked for any cast I’ve been in since then.
For the past 2 years now, my mom has hosted a December Christmas party at our house, with around 50-65 people attending. My sisters (twins, 13F) bake 3-4 deserts for the party, while I make my sugar cookies and a charcuterie board.
The charcuterie board takes less than an hour, but on average, my cookies take longer than all of their deserts combined. For the past 2 years, I have made around 40 cookies for the party. My parents pay for ingredients. This year, we are inviting over 100 people.
My mom has asked me to make 100 cookies, and offered me an incentive of $75 upon seeing my less than enthusiastic reaction. The cookie cutters I’m using this year are smaller than the ones I’ve used before;
however, it will be significantly more decorating than last year, considering I quadrupled rather than doubled my dough recipe this year (at my mom’s request). These cookies will be a 4 day project (one day for dough, one day for baking, and two for decorating). I did the dough yesterday, which is the easiest part and still took an hour and a half.
With the time commitment I’ll be putting in, I asked my mom to pay me an hourly rate for my cookies, which I haven’t done before. I would log how many hours I worked over the 4 days, and we could negotiate what that rate would actually be after the party was over.
My initial suggestion was $20 per hour, which I am aware is high, but I was more than open to negotiating a lower rate with her.
She told me that I wasn’t being generous and that I shouldn’t be charging her money because she’s family.
She said that she had offered me the $75 as an incentive, but I should be making the cookies to contribute to the party rather than to make money, because baking cookies for her shouldn’t be considered a service. She said that it was unfair of me to charge her when I made the theater cookies for free.
My dad agrees with her, and my sisters are mad that I’m asking for money while they’re making their deserts for free (which is none of my business, imo if they want to be paid they should ask). I don’t think I’m being unreasonable for wanting to be paid for a likely 12+ hour commitment, but I thought I’d ask here. AITA?.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
AnonAnontheAnony − Honestly… YTA. You agreed, then you went back for more. You also have to remember, you’re not buying all of the baking supplies yourself. You didn’t furnish the kitchen. You don’t pay the lights, and the water, and the rent for the house. IF you were applying to be a baker, then yes, an hourly rate is more than fair.
IF you were buying everything yourself and needed compensation, then it would be fair. But… At $75, to make 100 cookies? That’s not actually all that bad already, and it was kind of a d**k move to try and beg for more. Also… $20/hr? You want full living wages to bake cookies for family at 15? And you’re saying this is 12+ hrs of work?
Nah… At MOST… 100 cookies + simple decorating is 6-8 hrs, and you can get decent bakeshop cookies for $10/dozen. $75 was far more than fair considering the circumstances and the fact that you’re still getting the experience and the time in practice without having to pay for lessons/space/equipment/ingredients.
mousepallace − YTA. Do you know how much work Christmas is for your mom? Waaaaay more than you think it is. She asked you for help. You shouldn’t need paying, you should just do it.
General_Relative2838 − Your mother has already offered to pay you $75 to bake the cookies, so it seems like she understands how much effort you put into making them. I’m a mother, and I’m certain she’s put uncountable hours doing kind things for you.
A local baker charges $10/dozen for their specialty cookies, which is about what you’re getting—and she pays for the ingredients. It sounds greedy to charge your mother more.. YTA.
EmceeSuzy − A gentle YTA.You are young but it is time to start appreciating what your parents do for you. Making these cookies is a nice thing that you can do to contribute. Getting $75 for it is really nice. I recently purchased 8 dozen large decorated cookies for my cast and paid $150.
You are getting a good price. $20 per hour is not the going rate for a commercial baker. Hourly help gets less than that and is expected to work at a much faster rate than you are going. Get in the holiday spirit and make this your pleasant contribution to the party.
JuiceOk6582 − YTA. Who’s paying your mom for preparing the entrees and the main dish, the sides, decorating, organizing everything? What she’s doing is A LOT more work than what she’s asking you. She was nice enough to offer you money for it, and you took advantage of it.
Heavy_Cricket_2561 − NTA. I think a lot of people are voting Y-T-A because they haven’t seen the comment where you said she is insisting that you make super fancy and elaborate cookies, not just basic ones. That is not a reasonable amount of work to expect from a kid.
Annual_Fall1440 − Sorry sis YTA. Do you know how much money is gonna go towards the ingredients for your cookies? Not to mention you said the food was going to be catered, which is also hella expensive.
Most bakers charge a lot because they’re incorporating the cost of materials plus their labor. You’re only doing the labor. So to ask for more money on top of what your mom is offering plus what she’s already going to be spending (for you!!!) is very A-holey.
Ok_Stable7501 − Info needed: are you doing individual portraits of each guest on the cookies?
QueenMoonshadow191 − EDIT FOR CLARIFICATION: I can no longer edit the post so I’m hoping people see this. I’ve seen a lot of comments mention this. I did not agree to the $75 and then go back and ask for more money. She suggested the 75 and right away I told her I wanted hourly. We’ve been arguing back and forth for a few days now
Traditional-Load8228 − Just make them less elaborate this year. Green trees, yellow stars, red ornaments. They don’t need your most fancy cookies
Do you think the Redditor’s request for compensation is fair given the time and effort involved, or should family contributions like this come without expectation of payment? How would you handle this situation? Share your thoughts below!