AITA for changing the chores unilaterally since my husband wants the boys to stand to urinate.
A woman explains that her husband started encouraging their young sons to stand while urinating after a visit from her brother-in-law, who joked about the boys sitting down. Concerned about cleanliness, the woman insists that her husband now takes on the chore of cleaning the bathrooms after she noticed they were getting messy.
While her husband complied, he’s upset that she made this decision without consulting him, just as he did with the boys’ bathroom habits.
‘ AITA for changing the chores unilaterally since my husband wants the boys to stand to urinate.’
Our house has three bathrooms. The ensuite is basically mine. All of my products are in there and it’s where I do my business. My husband also uses it but not for much more than brushing his teeth, grabbing a glass of water or a midnight pee. The main bathroom is the one my husband and three kids use.
The half bath on the main floor is mostly for guests and washing up before meals. After we potty trained our sons I kept making sure that they were sitting to pee. They are young and don’t really care. They can use a urinal when we are out somewhere. My brother-in-law was over last month and saw my oldest boy in the bathroom by accident.
My sons don’t lock the bathroom door yet because they don’t want to get locked in. Yes I know they are easy to open. But after one got locked in and had a panic attack it is just easier for now. Anyways my brother-in-law made a joke about my son not stinking up the bathroom. My son told him that he was just peeing.
For some reason my BIL took offense at this and started bugging my husband about his sons sitting to pee. My husband then started telling the boys that if they are only peeing that they should stand. They boys don’t have great aim but they make up for it with a short attention span.
When I went in the bathroom after a few days of that it was gross. I turned around and walked out. When my husband got home I told him that he picked up a new chore. He now has to clean the toilets, floors, and walls in the bathrooms the boys are using. He said that it wasn’t his turn.
I said it was his idea for the boys to stand to pee so he had to deal with the consequences. He did it but he is upset about me unilaterally making this decision. Like he did about the boys.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
NTA. I will never understand why it’s socially acceptable for boys and grown ass men to spray bathrooms like tom cats because they *choose* to stand to urinate. It’s unnecessary and unsanitary. Either aim better, clean up after yourself, or sit.
NTA… However? I can guarantee if you make the boys clean up their pee properly they are going to magically be able to aim! I’m a boy mum.
Lol NTA; all the people with penises can clean up after their penises
Definitely NTA. Gotta love that t**xic fragile masculinity where not spraying the whole area with urine every time you pee = your manhood is at stake. Both your husband and his brother need to figure out how to be less insecure because :
1) that’s frankly pathetic
2) as the boys grow up, this fragile masculinity thing is going to be passed onto them and they deserve better, and
3) t**xic, fragile masculinity is going to lead to a ton more problems for you over time. Peeing position is just the tip of the iceberg.
INFO: Has your husband addressed why his focus is on how his children pee rather than why his grown adult brother can’t stop commenting on how a six year old is going to the bathroom?
So much NTA.
1. Your BIL should learn how to knock.
2. Sitting when you pee doesn’t make you less of a man, as your BIL and Husband seem to imply
3. If your husband insists on teaching the boys to pee while standing, it’s his job to clean or he has to teach the boys to clean up after themselves.
As a penis owner, I can tell you that even with years of experience peeing while standing. it always makes less of a mess to sit down than stand up. Your BIL and husband seem like some proud sexists for equating manhood to standing and peeing and expecting you to clean it.
NTA Your boys were fine peeing while sitting, if your husband wants to demand that they stand then he gets to clean it up. Even if they aim right there’s probably gonna be droplets and splash back that builds up so he gets to do it indefinitely since he changed their routine.
NTA. There is no f**cking reason men/boys need to stand to pee. Your husband is encouraging your kids to p**ss all over the bathroom because his brother called his kids sissies (we all know that’s what happened). This whole thing is freak fragile masculinity BS and your husband can clean up the p**ss.
NTA, it was his idea so it’s his aftermaths to clean
NTA . What a t**xic and insecure stupid attitude to pressure toward your kids. He needs to stop being immature
Was the woman’s response to assign her husband the new cleaning duties justified, or should she have consulted him first about the change in their sons’ bathroom habits? What do you think?