AITA for changing my name? my parents named me Qur’stylle (Chrystal)?
A Reddit user shared how their unique name, Qur’stylle (pronounced Chrystal), caused them years of bullying, mispronunciations, and assumptions about their background. Once they turned 18, they legally changed their name to Chrystal to avoid the ongoing frustration.
However, their mom, who originally chose the name, reacted with tears, anger, and threats to cut them off for “betraying” the family. The user stood their ground, pointing out how their mom repeatedly dismissed their concerns and forced teachers and friends to use the original spelling. Did the user go too far by telling their mom off, or are they justified for reclaiming their identity? Read on for the details.
‘ AITA for changing my name? my parents named me Qur’stylle (Chrystal)?’
So my a**hole scumbag parents named me Qur’stylle and my whole life i have gotten s**t like “are you muslim” “what language is your name originated from?” “what country are you from” and people butchering its pronunciation, for obvious reasons.
I have always told people to just spell it as Chrystal and my parents (mainly mom) would take huge offense to it and would email my teachers every year to make sure they pronounce my name correctly.
My mom even grounded me once because I told people to just make save my name as Chrystal in their contacts. Now that I’m a legal adult i got my named changed to Chrystal so now i don’t have to deal with this fuckign b**lshit for the rest of my life.
Having this b**lshit spelling and having to correct everyone everyday was annoying as hell and everyone before they met me would always think I’m some spoiled b**t b**ch when that isn’t true at all. Your name affects how people see you, much of it is subconscious, and having these b**lshit spellings is not good.
My mom lost her s**t and started crying and threatened to cut me off for doing this. She said i betrayed her and our family by doing this. Im pretty sure I’m in the right but i need a sanity check here.
I told my mom to go f**k herself and f**k her for causing me all these problems in my life and not supporting me and taking my complaints into considerations over my own fuckign name. My mom is a cunt and my dad is a spineless c**ard.
Here’s what the community had to contribute:
TolkienandTrees − NTA. It’s your name and your right to change it if you wish. Honestly, if I may say so, it may be best to take a step back from your family. It sounds like they’re causing you a lot of unnecessary anger, and you seem very hostile towards them. Cut as much negativity and toxicity out of your life as you can.
JeremyMcCracken − NTA I notice this: would email my teachers every year to make sure they pronounce my name correctly Your mom thinks you’re her possession to show off. She picked that name for the same reason people get their sportscars in bight red: “Look at this awesome thing I own!!” Not only are you in the right for wanting a normal name, it’s good of you to get out from under your mom’s influence.
likaachikaa − she was threatening to cut you off for changing your first name as a legal adult? wow. but the “go f**k yourself” was a little harsh, though also justified.. NTA
Darkbomber04 − “Your name affects how people see you, much of it is subconscious”. You’re absolutely right about that. I, personally, hate when parents give their kids names that are hard to pronounce or names that the kid’s going to get made fun of for. Naming a child shouldn’t be about the parents, it should be about how it will affect the kid as they grow up.
I hate my name and have always gone by my nickname, which is just my name but shortened by a letter. My dad wanted to name me Mario and I’m so glad that my mom put her foot down and made him compromise with a name that is somewhat Italian and English. It’s not like the name they chose was good either because I got made fun of for it in elementary and high school when teachers leaked my name.
animalcrackwhores − Why did you spell it Chrystal and not Crystal?
CardiacSchmardiac − NTA. If it was a culturally or religiously important name with roots in the family then *maybe* that would be on the spectrum of betrayal but this is just basic n**cissism. Just read the definition below of n**cissism and see how much of this you think fits your mom’s feelings about YOUR name.
“…excessive need for admiration, disregard for others’ feelings, an inability to handle any criticism, and a sense of entitlement.” Plus you’re an adult. Unusual names can hinder or block legitimate employment, higher education, granting of loans etc.
Beret_of_Poodle − NTA. “Betrayed” her and your family? That’s a stretch. And THAT’S an understatement. She gets to pick your name when you’re a kid. You’re an adult now, and you are allowed to dislike what she picked and change it. She’s allowed to be hurt by that. She is not allowed to threaten you for making adult decisions.
EDIT: I honestly don’t understand why I see so many posts like this where families want to cut people off for absolutely ridiculous s**t. Are there that many insane people in the world? How do you explain to your other family/friends/social circle why you don’t see your kid anymore? “She changed her name. She’s dead to me now”?? Doesn’t anyone tell them how completely bonkers that is?
AnUnpopularReality − Lol you had to throw that extra “h” in there, huh?
SourNotesRockHardAbs − INFO: was the inclusion of the “H” on purpose? My mind keeps reading it as Chrysler instead of Crystal. For the record, I still think that spelling is more clear than the original spelling.
cisero − Good candidate for a crosspost to. r/raisedbynarcissists. I was given an unusual middle name (mother’s vanity) and I changed it when I turned 18. Couldn’t even stand it in the middle and that’s where weird names belong!. NTA
What do you think? Should parents consider the lifelong impact of unique or unconventional names on their children? Was the mom right to feel hurt, or should she have prioritized her child’s well-being? Share your thoughts on how names shape identity and how parents should approach naming their kids!