AITA for causing drama during an important football game?

A Redditor (27F) had appendicitis while away for the weekend with her partner (39M). She was left in the hospital as he prioritized watching an important football game over staying with her. She texted him repeatedly, upset, which led to a huge argument when she returned home. He called her selfish for interrupting his game. Read the full story below:

‘ AITA for causing drama during an important football game?’

Last weekend I (F27) ended feeling a wee bit poorly with what turned out to be appendicitis. We were away for the w/e with my partner (M39) so I had surgery at a hospital 3-4h away from home. I had a small complication during surgery so I had to stay until Wednesday (yesterday). My partner returned work on Monday but he came back to pick me up.

The timing was a bad because there was an important football game yesterday and it was really important for my partner to watch it. I am not English so I don’t quite ‘get’ the importance but it’s a big deal for him and so important, I wanted to make sure he’d see the game.

I suggested booking a room near the hospital so we wouldn’t miss it due to the drive but he wanted to see the game at a friend’s place. He said he’d make it. While we were waiting to get me discharged he was getting agitated because it was taking a long time. He had to wait outside so he was in his car the whole time because of restrictions at the hospital.

After a couple of hours he sent me a text that he had to leave or he’d miss the game. I begged him to not leave and reminded I could book a hotel. But he left without me, and luckily made it on time to see the start of the game. He said he’d come pick me up tomorrow (today) instead. The hospital wouldn’t let me stay another night or leave alone.

Luckily, one of my friends came to get me in the end. She didn’t get to the hospital until late and we got back to London around 2am. The whole time I was trying to call and text my partner but he only said we could talk about it today. The whole evening I was texting and calling my partner, ever since the moment he left me at the hospital.

He only sent me one whatsapp back that said he’d pick me up later but wanted to see the game. When I got home in the night he was so angry at me. He said I was the most selfish a**hole for constantly ringing and texting him during the game and that I ruined the game for him and embarrassed him infront of his friends.

He said he cannot even look at me and that I bring so much drama with me it’s humiliating to him. I feel at complete loss. I think I might be the a**hole for not understanding the cultural significance of football and asking my bf to do a completely unreasonable drive to pick me up. But on the other hand we could have watched the game in a hotel room and I wouldn’t have been left alone in a hospital in another country. AITA?

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

[Reddit User] −  **Get out of this “relationship” NOW**. You are NTA. Your “partner” however is a world class giant AH. He put a **game** over you! A *game*!! He wasn’t playing in it,

he wanted to **watch** other people **play a game** leaving you stranded at hospital and THEN he had the AUDACITY to be mad at YOU for interrupting *his watching a GAME*. **D**P HIM NOW!!!**. You mean **nothing to him** and he is proven that. 😳😳 You don’t have a partner, you have a monster.

FatStoic −  I’m English. NTA.. Your partner is a huge a**hole. You can watch games on replay, you can watch games on your phone. If your partner NEEDS help to be discharged from the hospital safely then a football game should never take precedence. He sounds horrible.

I’m not even going to address him being angry with you because you messaged him during the game, because it’s so far out of line it makes me furious. I think you should seriously consider whether you want to continue this relationship given how little he appears to care for your wellbeing.

7thatsanope −  Your boyfriend wanted to watch a game on tv. He’s not an athlete playing the game. No game is more important than picking someone he’s supposed to care about up from the hospital. He left you stranded, while recovering from emergency surgery, hours from home, to watch a game.

And he got mad at you for his disgusting selfishness and screwed up priorities. **Your boyfriend chose watching a game with friends over your health and safety.**
NTA and it is time to **throw the whole man away.** This isn’t a cultural importance of sports thing, this is a your boyfriend is a terrible person thing.

LuvMeLongThyme −  But! but! But! He wanted to watch the game with his friiiiiiiends! He didn’t want to watch the game with *you* in a *hotel* room! So, figuratively, pouts and stomps his foot, the thirty nine year old man. Op, you have a wonderful friend that would come and pick you up and take you back home at 2 am. It is too bad your partner is nowhere near as wonderful. I hope your recovery is swift. NTA

ripleyxxoo −  NTA but Y T A to yourself. I hate to be mean, but your replies are embarrassing. This story couldn’t be clearer in demonstrating that he does not care about you enough for you to stay with him. I, too, love football. I would never, not ever, do this to a partner. Neither would anyone who loves and cares for their partner. I hope you grow up before it’s too late and leave this dude.

Realistic-Ad7861 −  This can’t be real right? I legit can’t imagine someone believes it’s ok to leave a partner at a hospital while they’re being discharged (or any other time, really). If it’s true, I’m so sorry you deserve better. I wouldn’t even do this to an acquaintance or coworker if they had asked for my help during my favorite game or show in the world, let alone my own partner. Wow, NTA.

LoganDeLuca2004 −  NTA. Why are you still with this man? You were in the hospital with a legit medical emergency and all he cared about was a football game. Girl, you can do so much better than him.

GinnyFromTheBlock96 −  NTA. I know this is hard to hear. I KNOW you don’t want to believe what we’re saying but PLEASE see sense. Your boyfriend is abusive. This is abusive behavior. ITS not a drama free lifestyle, it’s not a cute English quirk about being obsessed with football. Its abuse.

You had a SERIOUS and complicated surgery and *told him* to get a hotel as not to miss the game but instead he *LEFT YOU* at a hospital hours away from your home when you were getting discharged. What happened if a friend couldn’t come to get you? You couldn’t stay at the hospital but you couldn’t leave by yourself.

And then he has the *audacity* to yell at you for calling him? After he abandoned you??? He’s g**lighting you which is a sign of abuse. He abandoned you in another city, alone. Which is *ALSO* abuse. *PLEASE* PLEASE please go get help and get out of this relationship.

manofmatt −  NTA – it’s an important game (best run we’ve had in 55 years) but things like health are more important. Sounds like you did everything you could and he’s TA for being so insensitive.

BookSlut92 −  You are not even remotely in the wrong here. Your Boyfriend is a selfish and m**ipulative a**hole.

Is it unreasonable for the Redditor to feel abandoned when her partner chose a football game over being there for her during a medical emergency? Or should she have been more understanding of his need to watch the game? How would you have handled the situation? Share your thoughts below!