AITA for cancelling the family trip after I found out that my wife cancelled my son’s ticket?

A father canceled a long-planned family trip after discovering his wife secretly canceled his introverted son’s ticket, assuming the teen wouldn’t enjoy the trip. The wife believed her actions were justified, but the father saw it as a breach of trust and fairness. This decision caused a major fallout, with the wife storming off to stay with her sister and extended family criticizing the father for his reaction.

‘ AITA for cancelling the family trip after I found out that my wife cancelled my son’s ticket?’

Situation is a bit messy so bear with me. I M42 have two boys, Adam 16 & Leo 14. Their mom passed away 5 years ago and I married my wife Rose about a year ago. Rose adores both of my boys but complains about Leo being overly uptight and closed up. It’s true that he likes to keep to himself, doesn’t participate in most family functions but that’s just how he is. My wife has taken it personally and kept saying that Leo clearly doesn’t like her and/or doesn’t like spending time with her.

What she started doing was try to exclude him from events under the excuse of “he wouldn’t be I interested anyway” which I thought was wrong because he’s picked up on that and started asking why. So I told my wife to just do herpart and that giving him the choice to decide whether he wants to participate or not and not outright exclude him.

I’d been arranging for a family trip and days ago I booked tickets/hotel reservation upon deciding our destination. Note that I was paying for the entire thing.

But the day of the trip I found out that Leo’s ticket had been cancelled, I was dumbfounded to discover it was my wife who cancelled it, I immediately confronted her and she said she figured Leo wouldn’t want to come but she knew he said he’d go, she tried to argue that due to his “moody personality and introvert nature” he’d change his mind last minute or go on thd trip but turn it into a miserable experience for us all.

I got so mad at her especially after she tried pressuring me to leave him with his aunt. I cance.led the entire trip, all tickets, all reservations everything. She blew up at me and started lashing out. I had the boys unpack and I did the same which made her go crazy and yell at everyone in the house. She went to stay with her sister while exposing what I did to the rest of the family who thought I made a big deal out of it and should’ve cancelled the trip that I promised the while family.

Check out how the community responded:

ClothesQueasy2828 −  NTA. Your wife cancelled your son’s reservation because she didn’t want to go on vacation with him. Your son is 14. He lost his mother and then had to adjust to you getting remarried. Your wife is an AH, and canceling the trip was the right thing to do.

NuketheCow_ −  She doesn’t “adore both your boys”. She clearly doesn’t like Leo, and would prefer to just not have to deal with him. There’s no other reasonable explanation for her behavior. You’re NTA. Your wife is attempting to exclude one of your children from multiple family activities. She isn’t asking for his input and then trying to accommodate his desires. She’s simply trying to leave him out of it. This is about her, not him. Sorry to say, but it appears you may have to make a choice between your wife and your son in the future. Choose wisely.

[Reddit User] −  NTA – For Now but more needs to be done. As someone who had a step parent like this, I can’t tell you enough about the lasting impact it had on me until my early 30s. Your son will know what’s going on and it will hurt him. Your relationship with Rose is new, but your relationship with your son is for life.

Please take your kids on a trip with out her to connect and reassure your boys you love them for who they are. There is nothing wrong with being introverted, he will grow at his own pace and at his own time. But as their father you HAVE to show your commitment to them early. It will impact their relationship as brothers as well if you let Rose continue this behavior.

sarcasmislife28 −  NTA. Take kids on vacation. Leave her home.

trikeratops −  Rose adores both of my boys. No, she does not.

dart1126 −  NTA. I think we’ve figured out who REALLY has the ‘moody personality’ and turns things into ‘miserable experiences for us all’. Surely this can’t be the ONE thing she is like this about, and also, if it is, it’s still enough to rethink having her around.

Twilly93 −  Nta. Why do you want to be with someone who treats your child so poorly.

Cultural_Industry429 −  NTA. Please take your boys on a trip just the 3 of you and use the distance to think if this is the kind of person you want to be in your children’s lives.

CamiS02 −  NTA, honestly sounds like your son could have depression or anxiety. Considering his mother died at a young age it wouldn’t be surprising.

Bruiscear −  So you’re married a year. She “adored” the boys before your wedding? The bullying started after the wedding? As usual – all these narcissist and abusers pretend until their victim is locked in. And then they begin to show their real selves. She never adored your kids. She pretended to before the wedding to sucker you into marrying her. I hope you have a pre-nup. The person you married doesn’t exist – that was a mirage devised to lure you into marrying her.

You need to choose between your wife and your son. This bullying is not going to stop: it’s going to escalate. She must already feel quite comfortable bullying your son if she’s happy to blatantly cancel his tickets and exclude him. Speak to your son. Lots of bullying is going on that you’re not aware of. He’s afraid and ashamed to tell you. And she’s not going to incriminate herself.. NTA.