AITA for cancelling on a group of very out of shape women that hired me to train/guide their hikes?

A hiking guide shared their experience working with a group of plus-sized women who hired them to prepare for a challenging “14er” hike. Despite the guide’s efforts to accommodate and train the group, the participants struggled significantly during the first two sessions, leading to concerns about their readiness and safety.

When the guide suggested scaling back the goals or ending the partnership with a partial refund, the group’s leader accused them of being fatphobic, and the guide faced backlash on social media. Now, they’re questioning if they handled the situation poorly.

‘ AITA for cancelling on a group of very out of shape women that hired me to train/guide their hikes?’

First up please know I am trying my best to be kind in my wording. I run a small operation where I guide groups or help train them to be able to hike. I have served all kinds of clients. I got an inquiry for a group called “Womens+ Adventures” and because it was during Pride Month, I thought maybe it was an LGBTQ+ group.

I chatted with the head of the group, collected the information (hiking levels, what have they done before, etc), and we exchanged money and I started the training plan.
The group wanted to work up to “A 14er” which if you do them, you know there’s all kinds. Going off what everyone reported, I decided Gray’s Peak.

One of the easiest and most rewarding because of the beautiful valley it’s in. When I arrived for our first group hike, I learned “Womens+” meant plus-sized women rather than LGBTQ+. No issue, their forms all said they were in good condition to start. The first hike was… awful.

It was a short 4 miles round trip, with 750ft elevation gain. Several of them ignored my list of suggestions for attire, footwear, supplies, etc. When we got started hiking, it was very slow. One woman was upset we were starting with something so strenuous and asked for a break every 1/2 mile.

One ate all of her snacks after the first break. Lots of complaints of it being too hard, too long, etc. After we got back (6 hours later) I pulled the head aside and asked if everyone was truthful on their abilities forms. She insisted it was all true and then got annoyed that I didn’t believe them.

When I suggested we aim for a smaller goal, she was obviously very offended. I gave them all “homework” which was to make sure to take a brisk 1 hour walk every day to prepare for the next hike. Several of them laughed at me incredulously. 2nd Hike went even worse.

I had an 8-week plan in place, and it was obvious to me this wasn’t going to work. So I called the head and told her that I thought it was best if I refund the cost pro-rated from the two hikes we did. Well, she threw a huge tantrum and called me all kinds of names, and insinuated that I am f**phobic, I’m mocking them, etc.

Please, PLEASE keep in mind that I have helped train several overweight people, including a pair of women in their 60s who send me pictures all the time of their great adventures. I consider myself to be VERY patient. One of them said they thought we would start with something like a walk in a local park to get us ready to hike in a few weeks.

Simply put, they weren’t realistic with their expectations. I refunded the money and ended contact only to find my Social Media bombarded by hate from all kinds of people. You can guess what I was called. I felt awful and in talking over this with people,

several told me I was an a**hole for not powering through, that I should have given them THREE chances, that I should have had more patience and understanding that not everyone is a natural athlete.. AITA?

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

theduchessofpizza −  NTA – you gave them proper instructions and training exercises. You even tried to adjust the goals to fit the group you had yet these women would not budge. You can’t help a group like that unless they want it

megajamie −  NTA You soulful trim this down to just being ; Aita for refunding a client group who set unrealistic goals, misinformed you about their current ability, ignored your advice multiple times and weren’t willing up put in the effort needed.

Doesn’t matter that it’s +sized women, it could be a bunch of muscular guys from the gym that lift all day but don’t do cardio to take a hike like that the outcome is the same

LisaW481 −  Nta BUT you should have language in your contract that allows you to remove any hiker from a group that is wearing inappropriate clothing/ shoes. Bad shoes for a serious hike is a bad idea and you should give yourself an out on it.

pottersquash −  NTA. it was obvious to me this wasn’t going to work. My initial thought to this was along the lines of “well thats not your call, let them try” but guess what? You are the expert. Nothing in what you said made it seem like you were biased in your decision.

You are losing money out on the gig. I’m guessing you did everyone a favor. Sucks that you got blasted for doing whats right.

[Reddit User] −  NTA You tried to train them and give them exercises which they refused to do (“laughed incredulously”). They do not even have the discipline to eat resources (snacks) the proper way. Your decision is ok and the best to keep them safe : someone not trained correctly trying to hit a hike is on the way for troubles

VeryAngryCNA −  NTA – The head of the group was too stubborn to admit that her group was not truthful about their abilities. You have the right to choose which clients you take on and which ones you don’t. As an overweight woman myself, I’d leave that group after that first hike. They sounded so annoying.

You are not obligated to give them three chances. If you had given them three chances to start with then that same person would have said you should have given them four. You are not an a**hole at all. You didn’t walk up, see they they were overweight and walk away.

You tried to do what you were hired to do and they made your job very difficult. You did not have to “power through” any of that. Truthfully, I wouldn’t be surprised if someone got hurt on a future hike because they’re too proud to take advice from an expert.

[Reddit User] −  NTA! What else could you do, stroll around parks for 8 weeks and set them up to fail their challenge?

greenwitchy −  NTA. i’m overweight and did my 18th 14er yesterday (mt. yale! it was fun.). i started out hiking places i found on dayhikesneardenver and eventually learned i loved the thrill of peakbagging. i did my first 14er after a solid summer season building up, between long hikes, strenuous elevation gain, some trail running, etc etc.

i had to put in the work in between hikes. you *can do it* if you’re fat. but you have to want to do it, put in the work, and change your goals to fit your progress. it sounds like they didn’t, and you know how dangerous it can be when a storm rolls in and you’re above treeline.. you made the right call.

foodietravelventure −  Nta, because they clearly lied on their forms, however, all you had to do to preserve your business was to make them take short walks in the park or cut hikes into smaller portions. Next time just ask them what they want and give it to them rather than insisting they can’t meet your expectations based on their embellished claims.

Delanes_Brain −  NTA: You did your training based on what they said their skill levels were, which were obviously not at what they said. They weren’t taking it seriously and you were getting complaints from the get go. You aren’t there to walk them through a park to train for hiking, they can do that themselves.

If they scoffed at doing 1 hour walks every day to prepare, they aren’t serious about wanting to train for a hike. You tried and were getting nothing in return. You did what you though was best by refunding and they couldn’t take it.