AITA for cancelling my trip home due to COVID risk?

A Reddit user shared that they decided to cancel their holiday trip home after discovering their parents weren’t taking proper precautions against COVID, despite their mother having tested positive.

The user’s concern for their family’s health led to tension with their parents, who are upset, especially since their daughter is the only grandchild. Read the full story below to see how the situation developed.

‘ AITA for cancelling my trip home due to COVID risk?’

My husband, 3yo daughter and I were supposed to drive to Cleveland on Sunday to spend the holidays with my parents and two brothers. All three of us siblings are coming in from multiple states away. Two days ago my mom told us she had Covid.

Yesterday and today I FaceTimed my parents to check in on her only to find them – both times – sitting next to each other in the living room, 3 feet apart, no mask, mom coughing and blowing her nose all over the place.

I asked why they weren’t even attempting to isolate from one another, and having my mom stay out of the common areas of the house, and they just shrugged and said “Your dad probably won’t get it.” I told them dad inevitably *will* get it, and will likely start showing symptoms (and be most contagious) exactly when my family and I show up.

So, I told them we’re no longer coming. I specified that if they had at least kept mom isolated upstairs we still would have come, but if they weren’t going to put any effort into preventing the rest of us from getting sick then they must not really care if we come or not. They are both now very angry, particularly as my daughter is the only grandchild.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Trishalicious_ −  NTA. Your mom is out here starring in The Super Spreader Holiday Special and your dad is apparently gunning for a supporting role. Like, I get that they probably won’t get it,

but “probably” doesn’t vibe when your toddler’s immune system is on the line. You set a totally reasonable boundary; it’s not your fault they’re mad. They’re just salty because their decisions have consequences this time.

malibuu_barbie −  Your family’s health and safety matters. You are responsible for the health and well-being of your husband and child, and it’s entirely reasonable to take precautions when there’s a clear risk of exposure to a contagious virus,

especially if your child is the only grandchild. By choosing not to go, you’re prioritizing their health, which is a responsible decision.

_s1m0n_s3z −  Good for you, but be aware that next time they just won’t tell you.

ItsOk_ItsAlright −  NTA. Whether it’s Covid or something else contagious, I don’t want it. It’s incredibly ignorant and rude of your mom to put your dad at risk of catching it from her and therefore risking you and your family’s health.

It’s crazy to me that so many people don’t take the threat of long covid into consideration either. It can be brutal. Idk why people think it won’t happen to them. If your parents were so concerned for their only grandchild, they’d be meticulous about germs and their health knowing she’s coming to visit.

Flavor_Goddess −  You’re the only one acting like an adult in this situation. Your parents are treating Covid like it’s a bad cold from 1987, but you’re trying to keep your family (and especially your 3yo) safe, which is totally reasonable.

It’s wild that they’re angry at you when they’re the ones shrugging off basic precautions. You didn’t cancel out of spite, you canceled because they made it impossible for you to feel safe bringing your family into that situation. Protecting your kid and your holidays isn’t a crime.

If they’re that upset, they can FaceTime with your daughter or plan a safe visit when everyone’s healthy. You’re just setting boundaries, not banning them from your lives. Tell them you love them, but you’re not interested in getting Covid as a stocking stuffer this year.. Absolutely NTA

Awesomekidsmom −  NTA. The complete disregard for the health of everyone is astounding. How dare you keep our only grandchild away from us. Oh boohoo!! We love her so much! Well it doesn’t matter if she gets Covid, the important thing is we get to cuddle & kiss her while we are both spraying deadly diseases on her!

Oh & yeah, the health of our own kids & their partners doesn’t matter either cuz they “probably”won’t get it. You ruined our holidays! Oh boohoo, cough, sputter.. For fucks sake! Of course you should stay home. And warn your siblings asap

GroovyYaYa −  Most people are not contagious after 5 days – but SOME are infectious for 10 days, per the Google. Honestly, as sooon as I tested negative the first time I had it (and felt better) I still wore a mask out and about for 5 days after that.

My elderly mom felt kind of off – so I had her do a home test. Immediately opened all the doors and windows, masked up even though we hadn’t been masked before, and met my dad at the door with a mask and a test.. All three of us were positive.

My mom and I felt like crap for at least a week. My Dad? Never felt a symptom. Hell, he was probably the one who gave it to us. (I think it was hardest on him – he felt fine and wanted to do his regular things)

My point is that really – once she had it, your dad was exposed before she tested positive and could have easily “carried” it into Christmas Day without ever thinking he had it. The second you knew she had it – you should have cancelled/postponed Christmas. (Your 3 year old wouldn’t bat an eyelash at two Christmas mornings)

trolleydip −  If a family member is sick, a cold, the flu, whatever, and its contagious, its pretty standard to not go near the sick person. Cancelling is totally normal if you know that they are contagious right now.

Content_Print_6521 −  You are doing the right thing. Your parents shouldn’t be so casual about a still serious disease, especially around your daughter.

Ipso-Pacto-Facto −  Your children isn’t a toy to be shared. “Well I’m not angry at you, just disappointed you don’t care about our health. You should be angry at yourself.” I will never forget my mother flying in, very sick, when my first baby was 6 weeks old. So selfish.

Do you think the user made the right decision by canceling the trip to protect their family, or should they have gone despite the risks? How would you handle a situation where family is ignoring safety precautions? Share your thoughts below!